Scholarship Interviews

Parents Forum
1

Our son has been invited to compete for a prestigious scholarship award that could mean a full ride to his 1st choice university. It’s a 2 day marathon and at some point he’ll interview with a panel of 3 or 4 that may include professors, deans, or grad students who previously won.

What advice can you offer for a student who is very introverted and will have to use every ounce of his ability to communicate who he is and why he should be awarded this opportunity, not just during the interview but throughout the weekend? Believe me when I say this is not in his nature.

Anyone else have any experience with this sort of situation with a similar student?

2

My daughter served as an undergraduate student on such a panel. They told to her to expect the interviewees to be nervous as most people would be with potentially a $250,000 award on the line. She was also instructed to only ask questions about items on the student’s resume. Some of the professors or staff members did ask other questions.

The best advice I can give is that you son knows his resume very well.

3

Congratulations! I would suggest you do as many mock interviews as you can beforehand–within enough time for him to emotionally rest/recover. Enlist every family friend who owns a suit to pretend to be a panel member. Have him write up a list of questions he might anticipate being asked, then you add some as well. Have him practice the handshakes, the sitting down and getting up (the buttoning and unbuttoning of the suit coat), all of it. Honestly, I would also let him take an extra day off school to go there a day early so he isn’t exhausted from the travel, but that’s less important than the mock interviews, perhaps.

4

I know a girl who started crying in her interview. She was so stressed out, it happens. Practice practice practice. Look online for interview questions. Have him prepare his elevator pitch (tell me about yourself in less than a minute kind of thing). Know his strengths, weaknesses and what he can bring to the school in addition to knowing his resume super well as mentioned. Be able to explain examples of challenges and achievements. The quiet types can surprise you, he will likely step up and amaze you at how he handles it. Congrats and good luck!

5

First, congrats to your son for making it this far. That in itself is a wonderful accomplishment, and an honor to be considered for something so significant. Of course an introverted kid might not be comfortable discussing his own accomplishments, especially with strangers. So, get him used to saying “Thank you” in a loud, clear voice, because it is very likely that the first thing the interviewers will say to him is “Congratulations” for making it this far, etc. If your son can learn to hear himself handle the “Thank you” part, he may be able to relax a bit and gain his confidence.

Even if he is an introverted kid, it does not mean he’s not deserving. They want to interview to him for a reason. Have him try to determine why they want to talk to him - what makes him special. It may be obvious at first, if purely based on grades or scores, but the people who tend to do well at this sort of thing are the people who can convey their appreciation for the people who helped get them there so far, but also an appreciation of the fact that there is still so much out there for them to learn, and perhaps an excitement to be able to help others learn along the way.

There is also something to be said for the ability to smile through your nerves. The ability to directly answer questions, but maintaining a friendly conversational style, usually helps.

An introverted person is often quiet, especially about the unknown. However, you can remind him that this whole experience is about a topic he knows more about than anyone else on the planet - himself.

Do you know if he is one of 2, 3, 5, or 20 possible candidates? Remind him that even if he does not win this prestigious scholarship, this experience will undoubtedly help him. Don’t tell him things like “Not to put any pressure on you, it’s only your entire future that depends on how you do in this interview.”

Now for the practical advice, in a 2 day marathon interview, I would want to make sure he packs good antiperspirant/deodorant, brings a good toothpaste, and that he wears comfortable shoes - if they are new shoes (it is not uncommon for HS senior boys to need new shoes every month or so) , then be sure he has a few days to break them in. And for god sakes, do not feed him beans the night before his interview, or anything that could make him gassy. Sometimes, telling a kid a reminder like that can ease a lot of tension.

Be proud of him. You know your kid - and you will know whether that means you need to show him you’re rooting for him, or to play it low key, treat it as just another of the many wonderful recognition he has earned. Maybe tape a copy of the letter to the fridge, where you used to put his grade school drawings / homework / report cards, will be enough to show him you’re proud of him, but not making too big a deal about it. But by all means, bake cookies for when he returns home mentally and physically exhausted from the process.

6

Just some thoughts from my daughters similar interview last year:

– have a readily available answer to the question "What books are you currently reading? It was a conversation starter but also a personality quiz and academic inquiry all wrapped up into one.

– have a readily available answer as to why you are choosing a certain major. You should be able to show a good deal of depth either in your reasons or your EC interests.

– have a great “wrap up statement” to summarize yourself super briefly and then to drive home your intent to choose this school and this program. Maybe not so much for use on the younger panel members but definitely for the profs or Dean who may be the last one interviewing you.

– for interviews that last a few days and involve a cohort of sorts you can probably bet they are watching to see how your kid can work a room and handle a crowd. I would definitely have him practice this. The art of genuine small talk can go a long way.

Best of luck!!

7

“Fake it til you make it” - Have him practice portraying confidence in his posture, by smiling and by making eye contact.

You’ve already received some good advice about having him make sure he can give an elevator pitch about himself, talk about his accomplishments and interest in the school. If he’s written essays specifically for this scholarship, he should review them before the interview. A mock interview or two could be good, but I wouldn’t go overboard.

Is there any dining involved? My DD participated in one of these weekends and she had to eat dinner at the Chancellor’s house as part of it. If so, make sure he knows good table manners, etc. An etiquette class wouldn’t hurt given what’s at stake!

8

Congratulations! I would discuss and practice using appropriate eye contact and hand shaking- these skills can make him look more confident. I would also reinforce and practice keeping his hands quiet and neatly placed in front of him, and reducing any fillers ( like, um) if these are typically used. Think of topics that can be used to make small talk… I would also have him research some questions that might be asked… be prepared to discuss books that have been read, answering "what is your greatest accomplishment/failure, questions about his major, why he is a fit for this school, activities, goals, etc.

Good luck!

9

@MaterS Great idea about the resume. It’s been awhile since that was done.

@ccprofandmomof2 Since the school is about 6 hours away we’re planning to drive the day before so he’ll have time to adjust and get as comfortable as he can. Also, he’ll have his own room so he won’t have to contend with his dad snoring. Hahaha.

I really like the idea of interviews with friends. I’ve already asked a grad student friend that went through a similar gauntlet to help prep him but haven’t heard back. I think I’ll call a few more people to see what can be set up. Thanks.

10

Also remind him to focus on the interviewers, perhaps even asking them about their career and educational paths. This will serve two purposes: one, to show that he’s not self-absorbed, and two, to take his mind off of his own nervousness. I am always impressed by people (of any age) who think of others while they themselves are under stress.

11

@3puppies You hit the nail on the head. He can’t / won’t talk about himself or his accomplishments because he considers it bragging. He just doesn’t consider those topics anything that he should talk about. Unless specific questions are asked, I really don’t think he’ll volunteer anything extra. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked him to rewrite an essay so it doesn’t sound like his mother made him do it. As a result though, of all the essays he was forced to write over the last couple of months, he seems to have had a sort of breakthrough in expressing himself . Hopefully, that will carry over into conversation, at least with decision makers.

As far as small talk is concerned, I’m afraid he’s doomed and no amount of coaching will help that. Put him in a room full of other students that he doesn’t know and he won’t say a word. Put him in a situation where they are discussing science, politics, a strategy game, and he’ll open up and get involved. He just doesn’t get small talk.

I’m afraid I don’t know how many other students are competing for this particular award. However, I know there are other awards being interviewed for and I think there may be several hundred students attending in all. I am assuming that they will all be interacting with one another for the student dinner.

Great advice on the grooming tips. And no beans. Hahaha

Ditto on the cookies and maybe a note to go along with them. Thank you!

12

My daughter has been on both sides of the fence. One of the things she mentioned was the essay. Did the student write it or did a parent write it? Also extra curricular activities. Did you actually participate or did you just go and sit there. Basically they might ask questions where they want you to expand on what you wrote or did. It is their way to telling if you really did these things or just claim you did. She was surprised at the number of interviewees that really had no more than a general knowledge about the things they wrote/did. Tell him he wouldn’t be bragging about what he did, just showing that he actually did it and didn’t stretch the truth. Sometimes the outgoing, can’t stop talking student is the one who ends up hanging themselves by not staying on subject or dancing around the answer.

Dress is corporate casual. Nice pants (dockers type) and a shirt or sweater. One questions that he could ask them to keep the conversation rolling is, if they could go back in time, which class do they wish they had taken and why or which class do they wish they had never taken and why. The interviews themselves may vary greatly. When my daughter did it, she was teamed with another interviewee. My daughters was more of a meet and greet while the other girl was drilled on international affairs. The other girl didn’t end up attending the university while mine did. Mine didn’t get the top scholarship but ended up with a scholarship package that equaled the top scholarship. He needs to relax, breathe and find something that he is comfortable talking about even if it is just short answers that show his knowledge of the subject. Good luck to him.

13

Some of these scholarship weekends bring a lot of kids to visit campus, but offer very few of the top scholarships. Some of them will offer generous scholarships (like 1/2 to full tuition) to participants who don’t get the full ride. Some only offer small “consolation prizes.” One of these that my D participated in didn’t actually award the full rides for several years. Their policy was that if the winners didn’t accept the full ride, they didn’t go down the list and award it to the runners up. Since the winners were the kids with tippy top stats, those kids were admitted to elite schools and didn’t accept the full ride. (Seemed like a marketing scheme to me…)
Before making the trip, find out if the trip/stress it is worth it. (What is the “consolation prize” if there are many competitors for just a few scholarships and your kid is unlikely to win the big one?) If your kid has the stats, apply for automatic stats-based scholarships that don’t require interviews. I’m not saying give up. I think interviewing is a good experience. (My ASD son suffered through it. Then took the bigger automatic scholarship. ) Just be realistic about your kid’s chances of winning.

14

@atomom is correct, very few of the top scholarships are offered. At dd’s school there were 5 and one in each area of study (the arts, sciences etc) received a top scholarship offer. The interviews she did also were part of the “right fit” for the honors program. If a scholarship receiver chose another school then they did not revisit the interviews for the other students in that field. The money just went back into the pot. There was no “consolation prize” for those who didn’t get the top scholarship but if money went back into the pot it could be used to increase scholarship/merit aid for other students. At her school the winners were not always the ones with the top stats but financial need was also included. Example, a student who had been in the foster care system for several years, with high test scores but not the highest of those competing in that field, or high GPA but again not the highest, might be awarded the scholarship based on need. Each school has it’s own set of guidelines as to how they decided who gets what.

Look at it as an experience and training for a future job interview.

15

My daughter went through this process.

Seeing all the other applicants dressed up in those mixers can be intimidating. The thing you need to let your son know: Nobody is quite as prepared as they come across as being.

My daughter doesn’t like to talk about herself. But she also really dislikes fakers. I suggested to her that judges are just trying to make sure she’s really done what she said. That made more sense to her.

The evening dinner was formal. The boys all wore either suits or a blazer and dress slacks. Check with the organization staff if you are in any doubt as to clothing choice.

16

DS18 had a scholarship interview Friday. Prior to the interview itself he was welcomed in a lobby area by current students who had received the scholarship. He noted that the two interviewers seemed to be observing him interacting with the current students. His thought was they want to evaluate how comfortable and conversational he was in this situation.

We made it a point that day to leave his phone in the car so that he wasn’t tempted to pull it out. Better to seem engaged in the moment and your surroundings I think.

17

@GloriaVaughn Thank you so much for your encouragement. Sometimes just hearing what you already sort of suspect has a way of making one relax. I think I’m feeling the stress for him. We’ve done some shopping and I think the new duds have really given him a shot of confidence.

Last evening, we attended a dinner given by one of the schools he’s been accepted to. It was here in our town, which is about 5 hours from the school. There were about a dozen other students who attended with their families. I was really proud of how he conducted himself. No, he didn’t circulate and engage anyone else but when one of the representatives approached him, he spoke confidently and well. I was so glad we went, even though the school is low on the list, because it gave him a chance to spiff up a bit and know that he’s got this.

I know that the odds are not in his favor. I know there is a lot of competition and that each of the students attending are all deserving. This is his 1st choice school but his 2nd choice school is just a bit behind this one - 9.5 vs 9.25. All he can do is his best and hopefully that will be enough. I think he knows that it’s an honor regardless that he’s been invited and that the school already considers him one of the top potential students. Fingers Crossed.

18

One final thought. He has already visited the campus 2 other times - once in the spring and again in August. He’s also been admitted to the honors college there as well. Hopefully that will come out during the interview and carry some weight.

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@“Garden Mom” - I don’t think the “honors college” acceptance will matter that much, as I would suspect most of the finalists invited for this scholarship will also have it.

As for feeling the nerves for your son, I recall when my pups went through this process, I was very nervous for them. DH and I tried our best to hide our nervous anticipation from them, not wanting to add to their stress. DH seemed to have an easier time than I did talking to them about their stress/nerves - finding things to say about how this is kind of a different nervousness from when they were going to sing the solo in 4th grade chorus, or mock trial, etc., but since they’ve prepared for it so they’ll be fine, etc. D told us that she hadn’t really thought of mock trial as interview prep, she thought it was just fun hanging out with her friends, but after she’d gone on a few interviews she realized how it helped.

We found that our pups were never nervous about this sort of thing up until about an hour before - because they were usually so busy doing other stuff they didn’t have time to worry. But as parents, worrying is a lot of what we do

20

Very well said @3puppies . Do you think NM Commended carries any weight?