Schools for My Sister

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hello everyone,</p>

<p>I'm a rising junior in college, and my sister is going to be a senior in high school, which means it's time for her to start looking at colleges. Back when I was going through the college applications process, my mother was the one who really helped me - finding colleges that would be good possibilities, keeping tabs on all the dates, helping me edit my essays and plan college visits. She passed away six months ago from a brain tumor, so she won't be able to help my sister the way she did with me. My father is prepared to step up, but he knows almost nothing about college applications, so he's been relying on me. However, I am going to be studying abroad this coming fall and will not be as available, so I'm hoping to get as much done with my sister as I can before I leave, so I can leave them in a good place. It's been three years since I've done this, though, so I'm sure things have changed.</p>

<p>I'm looking for suggestions of schools my sister could consider, as well as any other advice about the application process you can give me. She's got a GPA of 3.2 and an ACT score of 31 (she took it a second time but hasn't gotten those results back yet). She took AP US History and AP English last year, and is taking AP Calculus, AP Bio, AP Psych, and AP English Lit this year - solid grades, mostly A's and B's, though I think she got one C this past semester (it's been a rough six months for her). She's very involved in Speech Team and Girl Scouts (working on her Gold Award - basically the GS equivalent of Eagle Scout), and plays the clarinet. </p>

<p>She doesn't mind being far away for college, but doesn't want a school that is too small (our high school has about 4000 and she doesn't want anything smaller than that). Not sure what she wants to go into yet, but I have a feeling it'll be more in the Liberal Arts area then a hard STEM field (though Bio may be a possibility). </p>

<p>(She's very anxious about the whole process, which I think is compounded by people's tendency to compare the two of us. I go to a well ranked and well known school that has a history of family legacy - lots of children of alumni attend, as well as siblings - and she gets a lot of questions about whether she'll be following in my footsteps. She likes the school well enough, but I think she's worried she won't get in, and that is causing her a lot of stress.)</p>

<p>Thanks so much for any help that you can give me, it's greatly appreciated.</p>

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<p>pageturner – first let me say I am so sorry for your loss. It must be so hard for you, your sister, and your dad.</p>

<p>My daughter is a rising college junior and my son is a rising HS senior. It’s nice of you to try and help her. Feel free to join the Parents of HS Class of 2014 thread – lots of info and support there.</p>

<p>As a Smith alum, I will put in a shameless plug for my alma mater, but single-sex education isn’t for everyone.</p>

<p>There are so many great LACs (although many of them are smaller than 4000 students). She sounds like a good student. Would she consider: Dickinson, Bucknell, Gettysburg, Lehigh (all in PA)? Or U of Richmond in VA? Or Northeastern in Boston? Union Clg or Hobart in NY?</p>

<p>If these are all too small, then maybe Boston University or Tulane or University of Vermont?</p>

<p>You must be getting ready to head back to school soon. If you have time, maybe you can help her with the Common App. Good luck!</p>

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<p>First off, I am so sorry for your loss, and your sister’s. I lost a parent around the same time and wish, in hindsight, that I had had some counseling or support outside of home to help with both the loss and the transition to college. So that is my first suggestion, possibly for both of you. We tend to put our heads down and keep going and sometimes that has a cost later.</p>

<p>In a related thought, perhaps the guidance counselor at school can write something about what your sister has gone through, with the loss of your mother and no doubt difficult months before her death. Some students write about this kind of thing in an essay, but it is still pretty recent, and it might be better, if your sister prefers, for the guidance counselor to at least mention it as part of her background, along with transcript and so on. </p>

<p>As for colleges, I guess we might need to know a little more about your sister’s preferences: city or country or suburb? What part of the country? What kind of vibe? Is she open to state schools? Is she likely to have financial aid? It helps to know 4000+ student body and possibly liberal arts for starters…</p>

<p>I like to suggest that you google “Colleges that Change Lives.” However, those schools are mostly small as I remember. Loren Pope wrote a book of the same title, and another book entitled “Beyond the Ivies.”</p>

<p>Your sister (and you for company, if you are still around) can go to the library or bookstore and peruse or buy a college guide (Fisk, Peterson’s, Princeton Review) and/or look at websites. Visits may be hard, but they really are helpful if she can get the number of schools down to a reasonable number.</p>

<p>My youngest applied to only two schools. She did it early action and heard from both in December. The stress was minimal. If your sister could have an experience like that, while still dealing with grief, it might help.</p>

<p>How are you doing? It is a lot for you, too.</p>

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<p>First, my condolences on the passing of your mother. You are great trying to help your sister - don’t be shy about asking for help from your sister’s school and guidance counselor or teachers.</p>

<p>I second Colleges That Change Lives. The other book I found helpful in describing and parsing colleges was Fiske Guide to Getting Into the Right College - it has a section that describes the various types of colleges with specific suggestions.</p>

<p>There are a lot of great colleges out there; I’m sure she’ll find one that fits her. Good luck.</p>

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<p>What a great sister you are. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. </p>

<p>I agree that asking someone from your sister’s school to write something about what she’s been going through would be helpful. It will explain the slight mismatch b/w ACT and grades and if there was ever a mitigating circumstance, it would be this one! A guidance counselor or even the principal (would that carry any extra weight, CC parents?) would be great. I’d totally do that if you can. Your dad can ask the school. </p>

<p>You can help her before you leave by opening the Common App now and helping her fill out the boring stuff. You’ll need your dad for some answers, too. </p>

<p>Yes, some more info about her likes and dislikes would be helpful. Good luck.</p>

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<p>My sympathies to you and your family as well. </p>

<p>Some practical things for you to do would be to help your sister develop a resume if she has not already. That can be used for filling out forms and handing to people who are writing recommendations. You might also make a chart that can be filled in for each college that includes due dates, tests required, and that sort of thing. A chart can be printed out and taped to a file folder and the folders can be arranged by deadline date or school preference. Best wishes.</p>

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<p>I am very sorry for your loss.
I don’t know what your financial situation is, but would it be possible to hire someone to help your sister through the process? Especially if she really wants to go to where you’re going, someone with experience might know how to “sell her” better. I have not used anyone, but figured I’d throw it out as an option, in case it might help relive pressure from your sister and dad. Good luck to her, and you are doing a great thing trying to help her get things together. Your mom would be proud.</p>

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<p>My condolences on the loss of your mother. My heart goes out to you and your family. </p>

<p>You are a fantastic sister and she’ll be so much better off having your guidance. Feel free to set your Dad up with a CC account, although the learning curve can be steep when stepping in senior year.</p>

<p>No doubt she’ll have many suggestions as soon as you get back to us regarding her basic choices.</p>

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<p>Thank you all so much for all of your support and condolences, I didn’t expect this much of a response. I’ll definitely check out those books, and the guidance counselor letter is a great tip - I’ll talk to my dad about that. </p>

<p>I talked to my sister, and she came up with a few more preferences (thank goodness, as she’s so easygoing I thought she’d never have an opinion). She is interested in a more urban or suburban school as opposed to rural, and is open to public or private. We’re in the Midwest but she’s fine with going far away.</p>

<p>Liberal arts definitely, though she’s looking at science as well (though since she doesn’t have a major in mind I think a school with more room for exploration would be good). She’s not majorly into sports but not against them either, and is open to Greek life. She sort of strikes the balance between preppy and quirky - wears a North Face and loves Doctor Who. Financial aid could be a possibility. And lastly, since she’s very into her speech team, she would like a college that has speech as well.</p>

<p>Thanks again for all your help! I told my dad about CC and he and my sister are both planning to make accounts as well.</p>

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<p>You sound like a very close family, and that will certainly give your sister the grounding to succeed wherever she ends up going to college. </p>

<p>Before you leave, ask her to write her common app essay if she hasn’t done so, and give her some feedback. Getting it out of the way can really make the application process less daunting. Otherwise, she’ll be doing that and dealing with her AP classes at the same time.</p>

<p>Have her set up a meeting with her guidance counselor early in the year, while there’s still time to choose schools. Then let your sister do the rest. Her grades and ACT score are very good, so clearly she is a motivated student.</p>

<p>If you want to help her pick some places before you leave, have her do the college match survey on this site, and then contact the schools she likes for more info.</p>

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<p>The GC doesn’t need to write a separate letter. They are writing a recommendation anyway, and unusual personal circumstances are something that is included. You’d just want to touch base with him about it. She can also make a short statement in the Additional Information section on the Common Application.</p>

<p>One thing you might have your sister do is start a Google Drive spreadsheet with the colleges she is looking into and put columns with different attributes (cost, location, size, avg gpa range, SAT range) that can be sorted. She can share this doc with you and your father and you can also add colle ges and data. When she gets the list down to size, she can make another spreadsheet To Do list with dates.</p>

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<p>Does her high school use the Naviance program? If so, she can easily find matches using the software.</p>

<p>Does she have a regional preference? She does she like snow or prefer t-shirt weather? The more she can articulate about her choice the easier it will be for her to find a good fit, financially, academically & socially.</p>

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<p>OP, what does “financial aid could be a possibility” mean? Is your family low income? Are her stats good enough to get into a college that meets full financial need? Is your family able to afford a school and just looking for some potential merit aid to offset?</p>

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<p>Agentninetynine, I don’t think her high school uses the Naviance program - I’ve actually never heard of it. It’s a large public high school that is very good, but is overcrowded with overburdened staff (over 1000 in each graduating class). I’ve told her to go see her guidance counselor in person just so they know who she is and can write a better letter. </p>

<p>I don’t think climate matters, but she’d prefer East Coast to West, and seems more interested in Midwestern or East Coast schools. Hasn’t really looked at the Deep South or anything further west than Iowa. (We’re fairly liberal and also Catholic, if that makes any difference.)</p>

<p>Erin’s Dad, we’re middle class and probably won’t get a ton of financial aid (I’ll run an EFC with my dad when he gets home but I know we’ll be paying at least some), but I did get merit aid so that’s a definite possibility for her. </p>

<p>We got her the Fisk book and she’s paged through it, and she’s tagged Barnard (which only has 2000 but I think the city is a draw), Boston College, Notre Dame, and the Loyolas in Chicago and New Orleans. (Of course I think she’s only gotten up to the C’s or D’s in the book so this could change.)</p>

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<p>You mentioned mid west/east coast and possibly an urban setting: I don’t personally know much about The University of Pittsburgh, but it gets a lot of positive reviews on this website and kids that go there generally seem quite happy! Could be one to add to the list…</p>

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<p>I just did a quick google search of UPitt and found that one of their more popular majors is Speech & Rhetoric studies. I couldn’t find that info. immediately on the UPitt website, but I’m sure it must be in there somewhere! :)</p>

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<p>Since you are looking at Catholic schools, you could add Holy Cross in Worcester MA. (I actually like Clark U. in the same city). Fordham in NY-? Salve Regina in RI-? Fairfield?</p>

<p>There are plenty of lists of Catholic colleges and universities if you google. Here is one among many:</p>

<p>[Top</a> Catholic Colleges and Universities - A List of 23 of the Top Catholic Colleges and Universities](<a href=“http://collegeapps.about.com/od/collegerankings/tp/top-catholic-colleges.htm]Top”>Top Catholic Colleges and Universities in the U.S.)</p>

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<p>I am moved by your involvement in the college search for your sister in the absence of your mother. I am also so sorry for your loss.
I am the mother who does what your mom did and stumbled upon your thread topic . I really have nothing to add for advice , but as s mother, I feel that YOUR mother would be so proud of you and your sister</p>

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<p>But Barnard is very, very integrated into Columbia - after first year same housing options, and all but a handful of classes are shared. So it is small but feels much bigger.</p>

<p>Best of luck to you and your sister and dad!</p>

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<p>So sorry for your loss. This is a real service you are providing your sister. My younger son also preferred colleges that were bigger than his high school, though I did try to point out that college where most students are already invested in their education might seem bigger than his high school where there was a pretty large contingent of kids just doing the time. I’d suggest checking out some of the B student threads for ideas. (Like this one: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/767486-where-did-your-3-3-3-6-gpa-child-get.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/767486-where-did-your-3-3-3-6-gpa-child-get.html&lt;/a&gt; .) Fordham is definitely a contender, and my other son went to Carnegie Mellon - got us to Pittsburgh. Pitt is in a very nice area and Pittsburgh is really quite a nice city.</p>