<p>Hazmat,
Actually, this is not a search for commonality so much as adults having a basically respectful conversation- acknowledging before they type that the school they might have been quick to dismiss was one another parent's child was thrilled to attend, for example. </p>
<p>Bearing in mind that yours is really the first generation of students for whom this whole process has been such an "ordeal" I think it would be especially kind for a student who has likely benefited from it herself to resist what might be (or has been) perceived as "mocking" tones...or what passes for humor..</p>
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<p>Coureur, well, you might be confounded by my D who is quirky but decidedly <em>not</em> counter-cultural.<<</p>
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<p>TheDad - </p>
<p>Not confounding at all. With the possible exception of the service academies, I expect to find at least some variety in the way students look and act at pretty much every school. I will add, however, that after noting the "distinctive" look of many of the students we saw at Smith, we saw a couple more like that at Mt. Holyoke too. I thought perhaps is was a western MA regional thing. But no, it turned out that those two were Smithies who were visiting a friend at Holyoke for the day.</p>
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<p>you might be confounded by my D who is quirky but decidedly <em>not</em> counter-cultural.<<</p>
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<p>Well, TheDad, that describes my d to a T. She was regularly frustrated by schools where the kids were artsy and creative but looked goth and seemed to walk around alone or in small groups -- which she doesn't -- or where they looked more traditional and she figured that they were jocky. Meanwhile we were going nuts trying to find a school that met her requirements for top academics, size, coeducation, opportunities for professor contact, campus life, and serious arts in both the academic departments and the ECs. "Well, now, you dress pretty conservatively and you have a great group of friends," I finally pointed out (she favors a pretty sweater or polo shirt, though doesn't care if it's from H&M or J. Crew or a vintage shop), "and you are artsy and academic."<br>
"Yeah, but I'm different." It was Groucho Marx's feeling about clubs. ;)
"Spend some time on campus," I said. "Maybe you're stereetyping. Other people might stereotype you the same way, you know." She ended up at one of these schools, to which she had been utterly sure she would never apply, after recognizing that these mostly clean-cut looking, outgoing students include many who are deeply involved and seriously trained in the arts and that most are creative thinkers with inquiring minds. She could not be happier or more excited to be there.<br>
"You don't have to be goth to be artsy," she says. "That's just a different kind of conformism." </p>
<p>So my addition to this thread is this: there may be a school to which your kid does not react positively at first blush, but although I agree that it's important to respect his or her views, if it meets the criteria on paper there's nothing wrong with playing devil's advocate for a bit.</p>
<p>Marite, no, we're not all countercultural. However, D was bored and made a long phone call home yesterday and she observed that Californians tend to be much more open, in a way that sometimes clashes with New England sensibilities. There are times in my visits back there that I have felt brash like P.T. Barnum...which is too bad, because I was going for bon vivant like Oscar Wilde. Win some, lose some.</p>
<p>TheDad, New England is also more buttondown than the Middle Atlantic states, although the contrast is a little different. After college and grad school in New England I really had to learn to get beyond my newly acquired Yankee reserve!</p>
<p>My S's stated criteria for most of his opinions about schools are 1) interactions with students, 2) "atmosphere", 3) faculty interactions, and 4) program offerings. Who knows what he means by any of those things.</p>
<p>I have tried to pound into him that it makes no difference whatsoever (unless, perhaps in engineering) where one goes to undergrad school. All the studies find that college attended makes no difference in almost anything anyone can think to measure. So, my advice to him was to find a "fit". A place where he could really see himself. The issue is now, not the future. His choices surprised me. </p>
<p>We visited Stanford, did not click with atmosphere and Palo Alto. He liked UC Berkeley, but not enough to apply. He liked the academics and faculty at Reed, did not like the student's he hung out with. Also, too many people smoking. He did not like Harvard. Yale is nice, but relative who recently graduated told him he found his high school more challenging. The school he loved, much to my surprise, the University of Chicago. He found the intellectual atmosphere there very compelling, he liked the admissions staff, he loved the campus, and he said that it was the only school he visited that had a sense of humor about itself. He has decided that nothing could be more fun than attending a school where "fun goes to die." KIDS!!</p>
<p>idad. Your S sounds like my son who is a 1st year at Chicago. It was a great choice and he loves it. Accepted at supposedly higher ranked schools but for him...the best. He can't wait for the next three years so he can learn more.</p>
And if you send them this snippet, they'll probably proudly publish it in their next brochure! :D</p>
<p>Actually, I couldn't warm up to it, either. But I just have to admire it. I was surprised not to like the feel of the whole Claremont College area/architecture. Nothing against the schools, just didn't care for the physical spaces.</p>
<p>voronwe - "coddling" is the thought that jumped into my mind when visiting Lafayette. Pretty campus, too; many strong programs. Coddling wasn't right for my s, so he didn't apply, but I thought this school would be perfect for anyone "needing" it.</p>
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BTW have you noticed how much dud tour guides factor? Why don't the colleges work harder to screen these guides?
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S's Guidance Office even went so far as to suggest doing Info Sessions, not tours, for exactly this reason. Too many kids deciding yea or nay based on dud (or cool :cool: ) tour guides. We didn't take the advice, but it helped that S had a forewarning not to use tour guide personality as a factor. Also, we were lucky to never have a dud and never have one that was such a standout as to dwarf any others. With enough time on a campus and an S/D with the right personality to do self-guided exploration, that might be better.</p>
<p>I have always liked the Claremont Colleges, especially Pomona. I agree that there is a variable architecture. Don't get me wrong. I love Harvey Mudd. A boy from our community goes there, and the spirit of the place is wonderful. They hold, according to the students at other colleges, the best parties in Claremont. But the previous posts remind me of our trip to Claremont last year for our older D. As we drove around the corner to look at Harvey Mudd D2 exclaimed, "It looks like the restrooms at the beach." W and I had to laugh. They had used the same reddish concrete blocks that the park serviced used on the California beaches</p>
<p>I would really like to feel more positively about the University of Rochester, esp as I and my father graduated from UR. It has a lot to recommend it, but I couldn't help feeling that a lot of the students really want to be someplace else and they never quite get over it. Faculty, administration, coaches were very accomodating. Was surprised by some rude behavior on the part of students in class, but I understand this is a problem in many places (heard the same type of things about Penn - students reading the newspaper in class, for ex.) Not in my day at UR! </p>
<p>Wooster and Kalamazoo are two others that I'd love to love - but didn't quite.</p>
<p>Please please don't read this if you are easily offended. I am only attempting to report in a somewhat humorous fashion one person's impression of what one part of a college looked like on one particular day. Within those parameters I will defend my assessment BUT I am not making any generalizations about the other 1000 or so students I didn't see. I am sure they were all Ben and Jen and Brad and J.Lo and that really hot lady from Cold Case (O.K. that last one was for me.) I will also admit to being a more shallow person than I should be. Even with all that being said.....</p>
<p>I really hesitate to post on this thread but WTH. I have been a virtual shill for Rose-Hulman and will continue to extoll it's many virtues. It is prettier than I expected. I expected Dresden after the bombing or maybe sort of a Berlin post industrial thing but it was really pretty nice. The school is doing phenomenal things and producing valuable members of our society. High wage earning members of our society.</p>
<p>The new athletic/fitness/pool facilities are exceptional for a school Rose's size. D was excited about the possibilities.</p>
<p>I have never been more frightened on a college campus in my life. Maybe not frightened. Maybe stunned disbelief and a venti portion of unsettling apprehension is more accurate.The kids that happened to be in the caf when we ate there were the strangest group of humans I have ever seen in real life. Remember Fellini's Satyricon? This was far worse. I was looking around for the rest of the carnival. I figure Lucas must have come here for his inspiration for both the Wookie and the Star Wars bar scene. Every single possible human "oddity" or "eccentricity" was in full feather in that cafeteria.</p>
<p>I'm sorry. I am a bad person. I am ashamed of myself. I will try to do better. I apologize for the way I felt and although genuine and truthful, I shouldn't have posted this report. My hand accidentally hit "post quick reply" when I intended to hit "report offensive post". I have been under a lot of pressure-with that damn Nixon and all (Warning:virtually indecipherible Forrest Gump reference.) Try to understand. My upbringing was harsh. We lived in a one room shack outside Pascagoula. 11 of us existing off of our third "Uncle Jimmy Something's" earnings as a part-time chicken plucker at Pilgrim's. I lack social skills. In the south carnival worker is high praise not derisive. You've misunderstood my post because of the regional and cultural differences. But we are all human beings, most of us anyway ,right? Can't we all just get along? All I am saying is- just give peace a chance.</p>
<p>BTW D has replaced Rose with Mudd so I need directions. Is it turn right at the hideous red beach toilet facilities or left?</p>
<p>Before one international move, we briefly considered a move to California and the whole family went out to look at real estate and private schools. Satyricon is too nice a word for that visit. And hey, some of my favorite siblings live in California.</p>
<p>Ahhhh... the vagaries of tourism. </p>
<p>After that hellish experience, we decided to move first, get impressions later. It turned out to be a far more sensible approach though it does shock the locals. "You moved here without ever visiting??!!"</p>
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<p>BTW D has replaced Rose with Mudd so I need directions. Is it turn right at the hideous red beach toilet facilities or left?<<</p>
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<p>Neither. You park the car and get out. You're there. </p>
<p>Also, start looking on E-Bay for a good deal on a unicycle.</p>
<p>I really lived across "Back Bay" and spent time fishing on what we Biloxi-ites,-ians?called the Back Bay Bridge. Don't know if that is the real name. I lived through Camille. I just throw out hometowns that sound interesting to keep the Feds on their toes.:cool:</p>