<p>I think you have said it. Rather than listing campuses where drinking is not a huge part of the culture, we could benefit by sharing wisdom about how to prepare our college bound children to encounter the drinking culture. Speaking with them, frequently, about alcohol and drugs is apparently a proven and effective approach (according to studies). Being a hands on parent also helps. The latest research I examined urges parents to stay in close touch with their children who are starting college, as the patterns laid down in the first semester of freshman year are critical. I am still very interested in hearing suggestions about how to give support if a student who is a non-drinker or doesn’t binge drink feels a bit on the outside of things.</p>
<p>I’d also like to qualify my earlier post: Please do not let my description reflect negatively on my son’s school (for those who can figure out where he is). He LOVES his college (and his suitemates). I’m just trying to make the point that heavy drinking is an issue for all campuses.</p>
<p>“As a parent, I feel there’s little I can do to change the prevailing culture”</p>
<p>I’m no expert, but rather than throwing up our collective hands, I think we should realize that culture is the sum of how we all behave. If it were clear that parents of top students (that’s us on CC) were exerting pressure on their offspring to avoid campuses with a binge culture, then administrators at those schools might think about how to change the culture that they’ve allowed.</p>
<p>Do you know anyone that smokes? I hardly do. Yet growing up, most of my friends came from households where both parents smoked. We stopped doing it because it was unhealthy and stupid. We could stop this, too, if it was important to us.</p>
<p>I think Geomom is correct. I called the Dean of Student Life at one of my kids schools when I found out about a party that had gone on in the dorm. I left a voice mail which basically said that I had heard about the situation from my kid; the university must have been unaware that virtually every kid at the party was underage; I was giving the Dean a two day head start on his fact-finding before I called the local police department to let them know about next weekend’s party and that I would alert the local newspapers ahead of time to make sure there were photographers on hand to capture the “perp walk” as the party hosts were led out to the patrol cars.</p>
<p>Two hours later I had the General Counsel and head of risk management on the phone outlining the U’s policy on underage drinking and thanking me for getting involved. I pointed out that the policy’s don’t mean %^&* if the grownups on campus refuse to intervene and if the campus police’s policy is to drive inebriated kids to the local ER, no questions asked. They agreed.</p>
<p>Did it stop drinking on this campus? No. Was this the last time an underage kid in this dorm got drunk? For sure not. Was it the last time that year that kids openly advertised a party with booze in this dorm??? As far as I can tell. My kid never knew it was me- just kept wondering why all of a sudden there were movie nights and crazy olympics and bowling for donuts and scavenger hunts and all sorts of supervised activities (RA’s and Masters and grad student counselors) emerging out of nowhere. Do kids want to go to these things? No, they rather get drunk. Do they go when there’s nothing else to do? Of course they do- and they usually have fun and reluctantly admit that it’s nicer to meet people when they’re not vomiting into a bucket in a hallway.</p>
<p>It costs the university a couple of hundred bucks to sponsor a snowman building contest or some other kind of party on a winter Saturday night in a dorm. It costs millions to settle a lawsuit over a 18 year old dying in the snow after a drunken toga party (which happened at a college in Michigan last year, if I’m recalling the locale correctly.) So do the math.</p>
<p>Nothing will change until parents challenge the administration to take the existing laws and policies seriously. Nothing will change when 20 year old RA’s are in charge of policing 18 year old Freshman. Things will change when every time you hear about your kids suitemate being so drunk that he defecates on the floor-- you call the General Counsel and politely explain that there’s a lawsuit brewing and it has his or her name on it.</p>
<p>Not exactly sure why I was, either directly or indirectly, called out as not having a clue when there is now some agreement that these values and limits begin clearly at home, and the importance of an involved administration is trying to change the campus culture. Gee, wish I had said that. Oh wait, I did</p>
<p>I agree - people need to pressure schools to police this more. It would be great for someone to list ‘binge schools’ (recent hospitalizations, etc.) as a way of doing this.</p>
<p>We as a society will pay for all the medical issues that result from this binging, won’t we?</p>
<h1>83: WOW! Loved it. The idea of putting the grownups back in charge is exhilarating! Twenty year old RA’s “policing” 18 and 19 year olds came up in a conversation I had with my S just the other day, during which he made the same point. He also said that as much as he would like to be an RA, for financial reasons, he couldn’t because he (being who he is) would take the job seriously. He said that doing so would take away from his academics, since enforcing the so-called “rules” would practically be a full-time job. At this point he made the statement that the college administration itself cares to go just so far in such enforcement. After a certain point the notoriety will hurt the school. Blossom’s post has encouraged me to make a strategically placed phone call at some point.</h1>
From what you’ve said, I think my son is at the same school–and he’s not having the same experience in his suite. It is true, though, that he is complaining about the amount of drinking that’s going on. Still, he doesn’t drink (at least so far), and he’s having no trouble making friends and getting involved in lots of activities.</p>
<p>I’m just checking in to agree with those who have said that “dry campus” is a meaningless term, unless you’ve actually visited and observed the school in question. I have personally seen students stumbling around dead drunk on “dry” campuses and houses rented by students, not more than a block from campus, where the lawn is littered with the infamous red cups. (It was also a religiously-affiliated school.) Never trust that a campus doesn’t have a drinking culture just because the college administration says it’s dry.</p>
<p>The prevalence of binge drinking in colleges saddens me; unfortunately I have no idea how one would go about changing that culture. Parents have been preaching to students about not drinking or drinking safely for decades, but the message is obviously not sinking in.</p>
<p>“the students were usually not stopping at four or five drinks, and the binge drinking rate would therefore be about the same if binge drinking were defined as six or more drinks in a two hour period.”</p>
<p>I agree, and I would add that no one on campus except the researchers typically considers the guy who had 5 beers in 2 hours a binge drinker.</p>
<p>When my friend’s suitemate turned 21, he had 6 shots over the course of a long evening (at least 3-4 hours). He was so drunk, and vomiting so much, that his last name became slang among our friends for being way more drunk than you could handle.</p>
<p>But there was general amazement that the suitemate got that outrageously drunk and sick after only 6 drinks. Many people we knew drank considerably more than that over the course of an evening, behaved properly, didn’t puke or black out, etc. Binge drinking, for us, was about effect, not cause.</p>
<p>One of the thing that drives me berserk about drinking culture is that a student may be considered a crummy friend for declining to hold someone’s hair back while she pukes up 10 shots, but not considered a crummy friend for becoming a disgusting mess and ruining responsible people’s fun. (See the movie “Nick & Nora’s Infinite Playlist.” A good friend is a person who gives up her evening to chase the selfish drunk around town for the 10th time. The movie was very accurate in its depiction of that cultural standard.)</p>
<p>Consider the nearly instant change that would occur on campus if students treated the binge drinkers the same way they would treat a fellow student who makes racist jokes. We get what we are willing to put up with.</p>
<p>Modadunn, I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. I was only talking to you about whether or not there was less drinking on campuses with a strong academic focus.</p>
<p>Yes, our sons are at the same school, and even have the same plans for a major, I think. And it’s a great school. My son has found, as has yours, that the vibrant campus scene–lots of extracurriculars, etc. has so much to offer.</p>
<p>Thanks to Cardinal Fang, I’ve checked for the statistics and found that the percentage of students who are binge drinking at our sons’ school is the same as the national average (according to the most recent study of2005). </p>