<p>I'm from Paraguay and an spanish native speaker, but I'm trying to do my best to write a great essay.</p>
<p>ASSIGMENT: IS THERE ALWAYS ANOTHER EXPLANATION OR ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW?</p>
<p>Even though we sometimes believe we have the correct answer of something, there is always another point of view for everything. The Jewish and the Catholics are different in the way they think of God and people tend to see colors differently from others. No matter how hard we try, people will always have different thoghts that ours.</p>
<p>Jewish people believe in God as their unique saviour. They believe he would save the humanity from the bad if they are obidient to God. Catholics believe in the same thing, but there is a point that both religions will argue about. Jewish say that Jesus Christ did not come to the world, and they are waiting for him to come. However, catholics say that Jesus Christ already came to the world and died in the cross to save the humanity. Here we have a clear example of two different points of view. Even if catholics try with all their strenght to change Jewish's mind, they will fail trying and the same will happen if the Jewish try to change the catholic's mind.</p>
<p>Last month I went to a party with my best friend, and there was a girl dressed with a water green (from my point of view) dress. My friend showed me how beautiful that light blue (from her point of view) dress was. I told her that it was water green, but she totally desagree, she said it was light blue. We started discussing for 20 minutes about that and non of us got to an agreement. I noticed that even in colors people can have their own point of view and they will not change that thought.</p>
<p>It is very clear that in the entire world there are more than hundred points of view of what we strongly believe it is true. As the Jewish and the catholic, or my point of view of one color that was different from my friend's point of view, we will always come across situations were our thoughts or our interpretation about something will be different from others. We just need to accept and take the good from every opinion.</p>
<p>nice essay> it should be a 10</p>
<p>I’d give it a 7.</p>
<p>The non-native speaker stuff isn’t hurting your score as much as you might think. Most of the stuff I’d mark you down for are related to organization. Your second paragraph was overly detailed. You went into the nitty-gritty of what the different religions believe, but they really just want you to use the example to support your argument. </p>
<p>I would try to have a clearer argument. Here is how to measure that – it is a real argument if a reasonable person can disagree with it. No one would deny there are other points of view. They want you to go a little deeper and see if other points of view are also valid. </p>
<p>I would suggest investing one or two minutes in doing a brief outline. It will help you focus your argument.</p>
<ol>
<li>Avoid personal anecdotes; clear up the sentence structure; use better vocabulary. Overall it just seems like a very immature paper, even for a first draft. Sorry.</li>
</ol>
<p>@JoshWilson15 </p>
<p>There’s nothing wrong with using personal anecdotes. The idea that students should focus only on literary or historical examples is a myth. Use what fits your argument. Use what you can effectively write about in 25 minutes. The College Board’s own examples have perfect scoring essays that use only personal examples. It depends on how you use them. </p>
<p>Vocabulary - I agree, in that he should never use words like “good, bad, or things.” However, he should use higher level vocabulary ONLY if he can. Since he’s a non-native speaker, he may not be able to do so yet with the requisite level of fluency. I tell my students use the highest level words that you are comfortable using. If he tries to squeeze in high level words, but does so incorrectly, it will only hurt his score. I don’t think vocabulary is what is holding you back on this essay. You should work on that, but he first needs to work on the errors I pointed out. That is what will really hurt his score.</p>
<p>Either I pointed this out last time or I meant to: the colors example is juvenile and cheapens your argument. </p>
<p>Thanks a lot!! All your comments are helping me a lot… tomorrow is the BIG day!! 
I WILL DO MY BEST</p>