Score My Essay Please?

Hi, I need someone to score my essay. It’s essay number 1 in the Blue Book 2nd Edition. Out of 12 would be nice and if you can mention what you think I should work with based on the essay, that would be very helpful. Thanks!

Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority?

Authority is not always right. Experts and powerful people are humans too so they should be expected to make mistakes. Similarily old traditions are kept, not because they are right but because they are highly regarded and respected. For these reasons, it is important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority.

People in positions of authority often have objective ideas and questionable motives. It is important to challenge such people, despite their authority, for the better moral good of the group. For example, McCarthyism, headed by Joseph McCarthy in the 40s-50s often falsely accused people of supporting Communism without any solid proof. During McCarthyism’s early years, its credibility went unchallenged. It was only later in the campaign, after McCarthy falsely accused the Secretary of State and soon after, a well-liked lawyer, did people start to question McCarthyism. Eventually the ideas and methods behind McCarthyism were denounced and many people changed their morals around anti-Communist accusation.

Old traditions are often wrong and the rational behind many old ideas are often without proof or sufficient knowledge. For example, before the 15th century, many well renowned scientists, astrologists and physicists believed that the earth was flat. It took many conquistadors and critiques of this belief for people to come to the undeniable conclusion that the earth is actually round. The original idea was based on the fact that many simply had never seen the other side of the globe so they simply assumed that the earth was flat. Those people who proved otherwise challenged the traditional idea and in turn, came to the truth.

In conclusion, it is important to challenge traditions and authority. People don’t know everything angd are oftentimes wrong. Authority does not always equal accuracy. With the help of critiques old ideas can be denounced or improved an morals can be questioned.

Authority is not always right.
Clunky – start out in a more interesting way.

because they are highly regarded and respected
Are you saying things that are highly regarded and respected are bad? I’m confused. Highly regarded and respected are such positive words. Things are highly regarded and respected for a reason.

For example, McCarthyism, headed by Joseph McCarthy in the 40s-50s often falsely accused people of supporting Communism without any solid proof.
*50s, often
Years missing the “19–” are often preceded by an apostrophe: '50s.

You didn’t show that McCarthy was in a position of authority. (Which he wasn’t really? He was just a senator, right?) That’s who you’re saying we should question, so prove it.

the rational behind many old ideas are often without proof or sufficient knowledge
*rationale
*is often

took many conquistadors
What??? Their primary point was to kill people and take their gold, not to prove that the Earth wasn’t flat.

earth is actually round.
The planet Earth is capitalized.

Those people who proved otherwise challenged the traditional idea and in turn, came to the truth.
Again, you didn’t say anything about these beliefs being encouraged by people in power. You’re just talking about questioning ideas. Your thesis was about questioning PEOPLE IN AUTHORITY.

In conclusion,
Nope nope nope
Don’t remind us that this is an essay.

angd are oftentimes wrong.
Um.

With the help of critiques old ideas can be denounced or improved an morals can be questioned.
*improved,
*and

8/10. Not badly written but you don’t address half of your thesis. Why should we question PEOPLE IN POWER? You showed why we should question politicians. And why we should question…the entire public at large, I guess. What about LEADERS? Actual leaders of countries? Religious leaders? Leaders of movements?

Thanks for your reply. What would it be out of 12? It’s for the SAT

8/12*, sorry, knew what I meant but mistyped.

But who knows, I’ve seen essays that I thought were really bad (which yours is definitely not) score higher than I could believe. Your actual score might have been a 9 or something, if this were being graded for real.