@doschicos - Yes, she did the overnight etc. at Haverford the day before. However, she didn’t like Haverford as much this time around, compared to the first visit (when she interviewed and toured). I hate to criticize Haverford since it is a good college, and it may be a good fit for many students. But it’s important to share different perspectives on this forum for other parents and students to read. My D had some reservations about the social vibe at Haverford, which is surely a factor of the Fords she was grouped with. It just didn’t click for her. Also, while Haverford looks diverse on paper, it didn’t “feel” diverse to her, if that makes any sense. There were quite a few African Americans, but they didn’t seem to be mixing as much with the White and Asian students in the dining hall or walking around campus. She also heard from students that cliques form around “Customs” groups, and this can be good or bad depending on the individual who is put into such a group. You either feel like you belong or you don’t, and if you don’t (which happens to a lot of URMs, apparently), you will have a more difficult time making friends at the beginning of your first year. She had expected Haverford to be more inclusive. On the other hand, the faculty she met at the “academic fair”, especially in the Haverford Biology department (including the chair), were great. The Career and Professional Development advisors were also great. If she goes to Bryn Mawr, she will take classes at Haverford for sure (like everyone else). Less important: Fords (and Mawrtyrs) said that Bryn Mawr has the better food and dorms.
The Fords my D liked, she liked a lot. She met a few helpful Haverford students in Bryn Mawr classes who had nice things to say about Bryn Mawr as a college and Mawrtyrs as students. And there are students at Haverford who have an incredible amount of respect for Mawrtyrs, saying that they are some of the most intelligent and independent-minded women they know. These Fords also happened to be very helpful, kind, and friendly. They were honest about what is good and bad at Haverford. My D can see herself developing strong friendships with these students. These were the kind of people who attracted my D to Haverford in the first place. I also met and chatted with very intelligent and respectful Haverford students. It looked like students, in general, are serious about their studies.
Unfortunately, my D also met Fords – almost exclusively women – who badmouthed Mawrtyrs at every turn. They were obsessed with trying to prove how Haverford is Swarthmore’s equal and Bryn Mawr’s superior because of acceptance rates. They said things that hinted at jealousy of Mawrtyrs as “competition” for men at parties. This same group of women also happened to be trying to make out with men’s track and field athletes left and right. This group turned off my D in a major way. In contrast, at BMC, the only criticism she heard from any Mawrtyr about Haverford is that they didn’t feel Haverford is as inclusive or as diverse as BMC is nowadays. Any other prevailing attitudes about Haverford were well-hidden. Maybe Mawrtyrs are more careful about publicly criticizing their brethren down Lancaster Ave, or the amount of alcohol in your system makes a difference. Most Mawrtyrs she met didn’t seem to give a hoot about rankings and such, but they were extremely proud of their intellectual environment and quality of education, and the strong bonds they shared with the other Seven Sisters alumnae. My interpretation: Bryn Mawr doesn’t seem to have any insecurity about its standing as an institution. They are proud of their history and their mission as a women’s college, and they don’t care so much about comparisons to their Tri-Co partners.
Another contrast: the hosts at Bryn Mawr were strict about making sure visiting students didn’t linger outside the dorms too late. Even first year students acted like parents when it came to making sure the visitors were safe and stayed out of trouble. At Haverford, my D and others were taken to parties where students were getting hammered. Apparently, alcohol is huge on campus, and some interpret the honor code to mean they can do whatever they want (according to current students, mind you – I am not telling you my opinion, only what others said to my D). A byproduct of not having RAs (honor code): several women my D met had moved their beds out of their own rooms and into their boyfriends’ rooms, where they slept every night. And they bragged about their nightly “exploits”. This actually shocked me; I had never heard of moving beds around. Maybe it happens at other colleges, I don’t know. They’re consenting adults, so who am I to judge? But not my D’s cup of tea and totally unexpected.
The one thing Mawrtyrs did complain about: Bryn Mawr can sometimes feel too quiet and lonely. Not as much going on with respect to typical college social activities as they have at Haverford, according to Mawrtyrs my D spoke with. I’m sure if the program had happened on a Friday or Saturday, there would have been more social events planned. We saw this at Scripps too. Seems like at women’s colleges, at least those that are in close proximity to co-ed colleges, the women go off-campus to party while protecting the tranquility of their own territory. Not a bad thing for me, as a dad, I will admit. I want my D to have an environment where she can study for four years without too many distractions. For her, this was a mixed bag, although she doesn’t drink.
I found it interesting that Haverford chose to have their event on a Sunday, when there were no classes going on. All the planned events promoted school spirit. They were putting temporary tattoos of black squirrels on everyone. (Was funny to walk into Bryn Mawr with those tattoos on.) Class visits were not “officially” part of the Haverford program. This was a big contrast to Bryn Mawr’s Monday program, where students were assigned two classes according to their expressed interests on the registration form. Haverford seemed to emphasize the social aspects of college life while Bryn Mawr emphasized education and informal social bonding. BMC’s structure also allowed my D to bond more with her admitted class, resulting in new friendships. At Haverford, her interactions were primarily with existing students (which is not a bad thing, just a different experience).
At the end of the day, my D had to go with her gut feeling, and based on this, Haverford was crossed out from the list.
