Remember when certain states passed laws banning gay marriage, and a lot of organizations then cancelled conventions scheduled to be held in those states? That led to some pretty darn quick legislative about-faces, if I recall correctly. Of course, the entire issue was made moot when gay marriage became the settled law of the land.
Now, the film industry is talking about boycotting states which are attempting to undermine the settled law of the land, namely, a woman’s right to privacy in reproductive health, including the right to obtain an abortion. Perhaps organizations will begin cancelling conventions, too. But it never occurred to me that families might consider this in deciding where to send their kids to college, until the U of Alabama returned a huge donation to their law school, and pulled the donor’s name off the school before you could blink, because the donor raised the possibility that out of state students might boycott the school, based upon Alabama’s state legislature passing legislation banning abortions, in an attempt to undermine the settled federal law regarding a woman’s right to obtain an abortion.
That got me thinking. When I was in college, if I had had the misfortune of an accidental pregnancy, I sure as hell would NOT have called home to ask my parents to fly me home for an abortion, because it wasn’t obtainable in the state where I was attending college. I would have taken care of it on my own, and I wouldn’t have told them. In my line of work, I have counseled many young women who have become unintentionally pregnant, and not a single one of them wanted to tell her parents about it, although many of them chose to, because they needed help in whatever decision they made about the pregnancy. But these were teens who were still living at home, not young adults away at college.
Certainly, were there to be a movement by parents and their high school kids to boycott states that are passing laws making it impossible to obtain an abortion, it would affect the economies of those states. But more importantly, do individual parents want to send their daughters to college in a state where they couldn’t obtain an abortion, should they need one? Parents like to think that their daughters would come to them for help in this situation, but the fact is, most young women would prefer to keep this matter private from their parents. And we worry about our kids’ mental health while away at college. The fact is, being pregnant and not being able to get an abortion, if that’s what you want, is a very strong risk factor for suicide attempts.
I realize that this is a controversial post, and that’s another reason why I’m posting it in the Parents’ Forum. The kids are on this about as much as they’re on Facebook (which means NOT on it). I’m not trying to spark a boycott movement - not that I wouldn’t necessarily support one. I’m hoping to hear how parents feel about sending their daughters away to colleges in states where their daughters would have great difficulty obtaining an abortion, knowing that even the most open and supportive families will still have daughters who won’t turn to their parents for help in the event of an unintended pregnancy. And it doesn’t only affect our daughters. Imagine having your son face the situation where he has gotten a girl pregnant, they want an abortion, but cannot get one in that state. Many college kids don’t have cars at school, don’t have a lot of disposable income to pay not only for an abortion, but for long distance travel and overnight stays. I can see this putting a great deal of stress on the young man involved, too. Imagine trying to study and achieve under these circumstances.
Have you considered this in deciding which colleges are a good fit for your kids? Should you?