<p>I was wondering is any other parent experiencing what I am calling the senior meltdown...my D is very stressed and the slightest thing is causing her to break into tears. She has always been a strong, self motivated, high achieving kid but I am finding lately that she seems to be giving up at the finish line. She already has several college apps in but she is very anxious about "not getting in" even though she has applied to primarily match and safety schools. Is anyone else experiencing this?</p>
<p>Yep! Right there with you, except mine is snapping at me instead of crying. She is stressed to the max also. She has not finished any apps because she a recruited athlete, but the stress of missing school for official visits has nearly pushed her over the edge. Add to that the stress of in season sports and you have meltdown city! I am trying very hard to stay calm but it is increasingly difficult. My husband says we just have to trust that her past behavior is indicative of her future behavior and she will get her act together. In the meantime, my wine stores are dwindling!</p>
<p>Can I jump in this boat? My D just gets really quiet. But a friend of hers posted on facebook the other night and it said:</p>
<p>“Whoever said Senior Year is easier than Junior year lied. Whoever said if you were really good at AP Cal AB, then AP Cal BC would be easy lied. Whoever said Senior year would fly by lied. The only thing flying by my head are college deadlines. Missed college deadlines.”</p>
<p>Ever read the cartoon Zits? Well, my ds is down shooting aliens on xbox whilst his mom is on cc. He could be freaking out about these deadlines, studying for SATs on Saturday, taking a stab at a college app essay…no, classic Peter-Pan syndrome.</p>
<p>Both of my kids thought that the fall of senior year was the worst time of high school. Added on to hard classes and responsible positions in extracurricular activities which many seniors often have, you have the added time sink of college applications. My kids just bit the bullet, didn’t plan a lot of social commitments between now and the New Year and gutted it out.</p>
<p>The good thing to realize is that there is light at the end of the tunnel–the push ends by the beginning of the New Year and, unless you’ve really messed up your college list, you WILL be going to college in the fall. </p>
<p>Do what you can to help…but mostly be available for them to vent. Also, cut the kids a little slack–not the time to go ballistic if they don’t make their beds in the morning or other such things.</p>
<p>Youngest daughter has a short fuse these days. It’s a long, quiet burn of frightening intensity - not so much college applications but a senior thesis in progress that has her frazzled (although applications on top of that aren’t helping). When this phase ends there is the separation from home hostility to look forward to. I will say this dark side is taking up only a small percentage of her life, and I hope it stays that way, but it is a fearsome dark side while it lasts.</p>
<p>On the other hand - college kid is now delightful when we see her - and she was fearsomely awful at times during senior year. There is a light at the end that tunnel…</p>
<p>Ditto! D goes from being happy and carefree to downright ugly!! She has lots of stressors with several AP’s and extracurriculars. I try and figure out what type of mood she is in at the moment. I know she will be happy when all the college applications are finished. Just have to navigate through all of the classes and ec’s!</p>
<p>I think a lot of kids don’t take to heart the advice they’ve been given that college apps and the related stress are time-consuming and emotionally exhausting. Applying to college, those remaining standardized tests, and all that angst ARE extracurricular activities in the fall of senior year. </p>
<p>Encourage a discussion about dropping at least one current obligation from their lives. For my d, it made all the difference, and gave her the little bit of extra time and energy to stay on track without melting down. The decision was hard, but it ended up being an excellent subject for several application essays! Know thyself: Time and resource management are valuable life lessons. One more activitiy on that application is sometimes just not worth the emotional and physical toll. There really are only so many hours in the week.</p>
<p>Not only is there not enough time in the day for classwork, ECs, college apps, work, etc… actually applying to college may be the first time the “reality” of going AWAY to college hits kids. The fact that this is their last year with their friends, and that next year at this time they’ll be living in a new place with strangers, away from family and friends and all that is familiar… the idea that their lives as they know them are going to change drastically and not knowing how that will work out is also stressful. </p>
<p>I’ve heard parents describe Senior year as one long parade of “lasts” - last game in the kids’ sport, last homecoming dance, etc. </p>
<p>You’re not imagining it - your kids really are stressed. And parents are stressed! (WHEN will he write his essays? How will I pay for this?) </p>
<p>I suggest some deep breaths, a reminder that “this too shall pass,” and not sweating the small stuff. (Buy the goodies for the bake sale, instead of baking from scratch. Don’t offer to host 20 relatives for Thanksgiving). And Jane’s suggestion to drop an EC is a good one as well. </p>
<p>Good luck Class of '11! (from a parent of '07 and '10)</p>
<p>i agree Lafalum - my college freshman was sad during his senior year about high school ending. I’m sure he was also worried about beign accepted to a college he liked, and wondering if he would do well in college, but the main thing he identified was that he would miss his friends. it is sad!</p>
<p>Oh my, I can relate to this. My youngest graduated last year and the first semester was so tough. He was not a teary teenager; he was short tempered and sullen. I swear it looked as if he were literally holding his breath until college acceptances were released. After he realized that he was going to college, I could see a physical change in him. The tension just left his body. </p>
<p>Kids these days have to work so hard to get into college. They spend years trying to take the right classes, get good grades, score high on tests, be involved, be a leader in whatever they are involved in, volunteer, show demonstrated interest in academic fields, etc., etc. Oh, while doing this, they are supposed to find time to sleep and have fun?! It’s just crazy. Considering all of this, I think it is totally understandable that they would have meltdowns. I think it’s up to us to help ground them, reassure them, and support them through a difficult time. As parents, we need to remember that this too shall pass and that you will see your “normal” child again soon. Good luck and hang in there.</p>
<p>Omg. As much as there are wonderful memories embedded there (:)), I wouldn’t <em>relive</em> that year for anything in the world. You will get through it–hang in there!</p>
<p>Nice thread. Thanks for starting it!</p>
<p>I’m on board with everyone here - my D is hanging in there, but I know she’s stretched. I definitely agree with trying to lighten whatever we can: not the time to start a new chore, or even insist on the regular ones. Break down the process into as many small, manageable tasks as possible. Don’t be a doormat for moods, but be kind. </p>
<p>I also have a college kid. Definitely she moved on from this, and we learned to enjoy her company again! Except now she’s having college senior meltdowns - like can I get a job? Life is full of transitions. Sometimes I think it’s a cruel joke that our kids go through this right around the time we go through midlife! But maybe it can make us more sympathetic.</p>
<p>It’s all normal.</p>
<p>Parents can be helpful by limiting conversations at home-- they get so much of this at school as well from their competitive friends: “where are you applying” “What’s your rank” “how did you do on the SAT?”</p>
<p>You’ll miss their crying this time next year…sob sob</p>
<p>I believe I used the term “spiraling out of control” Then S added one more AP since his friends were all taking it. I grounded him for Sat, I forget why- the parties, the games, the events were getting to be all too much. He says he has it under control but I’m not so sure. Everything is at level 10.</p>
<p>My son (now a college frosh and on the other side of the mountain) was VERY snappish and grouchy last year, mostly at the beginning of the year, now that you mention it. I finally realized that not only was he sad about school ending…he was really anxious. He didn’t know much about applying to colleges (plus his major required separate auditions which were stressful), there were SO MANY deadlines and paperwork, not to mention school work and fighting senioritis, and…he sort of just “froze”. He didn’t know what to do first, so he did nothing. Well, then, calling him on it naturally made him grouchy.</p>
<p>It is such a learning process for both kids and parents. I am confident that by the time decisions are made, and offers accepted, the spring will be a much better outlook. And then you start crying…</p>
<p>for a long time.</p>
<p>Stay on the CC support group!</p>
<p>From the senior’s perspective…</p>
<p>I’m a senior in high school currently, and I went through melt down mode. As parents, I would just suggest that acceptance, comfort, and reinforcing organization (or reiterating the need for it) will be the best help during these times. Honestly, arguments and butting heads will only cause more intensity.</p>
<p>College is both thrilling and ominous at this point. Applications are stressful. Not to mention all of the stress from normal high school life, plus realization that our childhood is ending… we’re all scared. We’re all overwhelmed.</p>
<p>Good luck with your children, I know my dad will need some once the UC Apps open…</p>
<p>What both of my kids found tough was the thought process behind those college essays. Do them right, and they can be quite emotionally laden – if not in the content, but the processing of the experiences and emotions. By the time theywere ready to write, they had done most of the hard work.</p>
<p>As for senior year and full IB diploma and EE/CAS/TOK paper and ECs and sport – sooooo glad that’s over with!!</p>
<p>OP - Good luck to you. It’s not nessarily a bad thing to apply only to safeties and matches, especially if your daughter likes those schools. It will increase odds of scholarship. </p>
<p>For IB students, the EE (Extended Essay) certainly consumes a lot of time. And it seems to delay start of college apps. After that it gets easier.</p>
<p>Yeah. Actually I have been doing that ever since halfway through junior year, so you’re actually doing pretty well.</p>