Looking for guidance from others who have been there/done that.
Our oldest is super-ambivalent about the college search. He says he wants to go, he wants to major in something relating to math, and his goal is a good job and to make a bunch of money. But he wants no part in this process – says we should just pick for him. I think he’s overwhelmed and burnt out from the last few years of Covid stress and just getting his social life to normal level, and I understand all this. But we are also losing patience.
Stats: 4.5 weighted GPA, 1500 SATs, average ECs (NHS, rec soccer, reffing job on and off, volunteer work, sometimes in leadership role)
We haven’t visited any schools, and I have done all of the research. We did tell him that we are not committing to any school without visiting first, that’s non-negotiable. He does not comprehend the magnitude of the college decision (particularly when it comes to finances). As someone who transferred after 3 years of undergrad and ended up with a fifth year, I told him that we will not be financing that so making the best possible decision up front is critical.
Things we have suggested repeatedly: gap year, 2 years at community college then a transfer, learn a trade – all the things. (I actually go to our community college, I’m pursuing a nursing degree, and I told him we could carpool. He was not excited about that.)
Next step is to just say…it’s on you. We’ll do the FAFSA in October, and we’ll be able to help with X dollars over four years, but it’s up to you to take the reins here.
Those of you who have faced this…what’s worked for your family?
Thanks - yes, we already told him will be applying to Pitt or Penn State, his choice, but PA state schools are notorious for their high tuition, which worries me!
He has great stats! He could get into some good programs and probably get merit aid. But the catch is that he might have to get everything in before Nov 1. We’re in a very similar situation with our S23.
If math and money motivate him, he should consider actuarial science since he’s such a strong student. He could do an actuary program at a wide range of schools. This might include some schools with virtually no application requirements, and who offer auto-merit. Can’t get easier than that.
If it were me, I’d come up with a list of match and safety schools known for good merit aid, with actuary programs (and accounting and math as well). Just have him get the common app filled out, and apply to some with rolling admission and good merit aid and no essay or recommendation requirements. Schools differ in amounts of merit aid, and CC is a great place to ask if you have questions about a specific school.
For example, he could apply to Milwaukee School of Engineering today by doing less than 30 minutes of work (it fits all those criteria). S23 visited there and loved it (also knows a kid there who loves it).
Depending on where you live in PA, U of Louisville will offer him generous auto-merit aid. They also have actuarial science, no essay required, and no recs required. They have a cool (and large) honors program he can apply to for a more personal experience.
I know it’s frustrating that he’s not invested, but the research and help from you will go a long way here. It could mean the difference between him slumping his way through a college that isn’t a great fit or really finding the right fit. Or maybe it will be like leading a stubborn horse to water, who knows… . Our S23 really dragged his feet on the college search (as did our friends’ kids last year) but has become invested as we’ve gone through the process. I honestly think the fact that we don’t have much money has helped this process. He kept saying “oh I’ll just go to Purdue”, and we say “how are you going to PAY for Purdue?!”
Our friends’ kids (all excellent students!) who moped their way through college searching last year missed out on all the good aid and even some acceptances because they didn’t get their apps in early enough. Much to the dismay of their parents who wish they would have shepherded the process more intensively. So glad we got to learn from observing their process.
He can get merit at some OOS publics bringing costs down to Pennsylvania in state in the northeast, some privates too, UMASS, UCONN, UDEL, Scranton, Quinnipiac, Saint joes….
Is he willing to visit any colleges? For my kids, listening to their first info session and taking a tour given by a student was a turning point. It allowed them to visualize where their classes would be, see a dorm they could live in, and get a sense for what life would be like on campus. Might be worth a try.
I appreciate your response so much - thank you. This is good info - I was not aware that he could get better aid by applying earlier (is this Early Action?) We are obviously very new to this, lol.
He should apply early action (NOT early decision) wherever the option is offered. Not every school offers it, so just apply regular decision to those. Many schools give out all their best aid offers to students who apply by Nov 1 (the typical early action deadline). It’s not necessarily an official thing, but the same student might get a much better offer if they apply by Nov 1.
Pitt is rolling admissions, and you definitely want to get in early for aid offers there (though merit aid is competitive there).
That’s the approach that worked best with ours. If I were you, I’d bust ass coming up with a list of 5-15 schools ASAP and go from there, including virtual info sessions. If the app requirements are minimal (like my examples of MSOE and UofL), just go ahead and send em out soon! He can get started on his generic common app essay and then have everything easily done by the EA deadlines. If you’re not doing many reach schools he won’t have a ton of school-specific supplemental essays to do.
Some schools are more generous than others. The ones I listed were ones who gave enough merit to bring costs down to around $35,000 (some even better), to get more merit he might need to go south or west. Figuring out the budget is important.
A friend was in the same position as you. This was solved with a couple of in person visits and guided tours (not virtual, that didn’t work). Her son came home from those visits and wrote a bunch of essays, is starting to prep for a fall sitting of the SAT and is just plain excited about the prospect of going to college. Maybe worth a try?
Good luck. It can be overwhelming for a lot of students, particularly because a lot of chatter at school is related to college applications at this point.
You don’t need to wait for the FAFSA to determine your budget. You can go on to each college’s Net Price Calculator site and enter your information to get an idea of what your costs will be from a need-based perspective. Some Net Price Calculators (NPC) have a space for stats and that will give an idea of merit, but most don’t.
Also, some schools have auto merit, and he has good stats. Look at University of Arizona, for starters. They post their auto merit information on their website. Arizona State University, University of Alabama, University of New Mexico do too, if I recall correctly.
Also, University of Utah grants in-state tution to all students after the first year if they stay in Utah most of the year instead of going home (they can still leave for a vacation). Might be worth looking into.
Some more possibilities: Robert Morris (in PA), U of St. Thomas (MN), and Drake (IA) are all accredited “centers of actuarial excellence” which is the extra level of accreditation and means they have good programs. I know someone who just did the program at Drake. He liked it and got a $$$ job right out of college. All these places have no essay or recs required. These are not especially selective schools and your kid might nab their top scholarships . They just happen to have strength in actuarial science, and would certainly have other quantitative majors available.
I think some of these smaller schools, combined with some public schools, could give a nice range of good targets and safeties. And usually the app requirements aren’t too bad. Then your kid can start to get a feel for the specific schools and go off some vibes. Doing a visit or 2 in person soon would help too (maybe one to a public and one to a small school?)
Lots of times, people his age are influenced by their peers. In a couple of months when his friends make up their minds, I am pretty sure he will also have a clear idea of what he wants to do.
. Our S23 really dragged his feet on the college search (as did our friends’ kids last year) but has become invested as we’ve gone through the process. I honestly think the fact that we don’t have much money has helped this process. He kept saying “oh I’ll just go to Purdue”, and we say “how are you going to PAY for Purdue?!”
. They just happen to have strength in actuarial science, and would certainly have other quantitative majors available.