I am sitting here worrying and feeling like a lousy parent as my child takes the SAT.
Like most of the East, child was snowed out of SAT in January and rescheduled for today. She woke up sick and exhausted. I sent her to the tests.
She has been out of the house 18+ hour days (school and prescheduled ECs that she committed before SATs were delayed- performances that can not be missed) for the past 10-12 days - weekend and Presidents Day included. She did not have the option of skipping.
She woke up this morning with a headache and sore throat (sick or voice strain?) — just completely wiped out. She took some Dayquill and we sent her off to those ridiculous tests. I feel horrible. Now that I have found CC, I have started worrying about 10 more points and merit cut offs (impt.) and being competitive. The parent I was 2 months ago before discovering the college rat race would have kept her home and reminded her that she had one great test score under her belt (initial test taken cold with no prep - but certainly respectable). Instead, I told her that in the real world people power through when they are sick and exhausted and she has tomorrow to relax. From the tests I will take her directly to the theater for her matinee performance (she will be late for call but will make the performance) and then she has another tonight. She will eat at the theater and will not return home until after 11 again tonight.
I am now sitting here imagining the worst. I am worried about having to make the decision of canceling the scores for a test that I forced her to take. Not even sure how we make that decision after she endures sitting for 4 hours in the testing situation. If her scores do go down, or don’t go up to the level of her practice tests, they will be part of the test record and call into question her ability to do well at college.
I am also imaging how she is going to power through 2 shows on such little sleep and with no mental reserves. This was a parenting fail.
I just needed to get this out - sorry for the whine fest.
My oldest took the SAT and ACT on consecutive weekends in June, with a raging sinus infection. There was a delay during the SAT (a fire alarm I think) which caused the test to run late, making her think she was going to miss saying goodbye to her sister who was leaving for a trip to Africa that day. It wasn’t fun or pretty but the scores came out fine in the end.
Hope your daughter feels better quickly. It’s miserable to Not feel well when they are so busy.
Unless she’s applying to schools that require all scores, there’s no need to cancel the test. Maybe that DayQuil kicked in and gave her the little buzz she needs to get through the morning. If not, and if her scores go down, just don’t send them. And FWIW, I would have sent my kid with the same type of encouragement that you did (power through and relax later). Don’t feel bad; she might be cruising right now. And she’ll get a second (maybe even a third) wind for the performances today.
@parentof2014grad - It is good to hear that your D’s scores came out well – it is helpful to hear success stories. It is good that she did well when she was worrying about her sister leaving. It is often harder when our kids are worried about things (distracting them in their mind) then when they are not feeling well - they can power through the physical.
I know my D will be fine and this is a first world problem. I am just trying to pass the time while I am worrying about her testing, and second guessing my decision to have her take the test. As soon as it was moved to this date we knew it would be tough - but with the final administration of this test we didn’t have much choice. I DID have the choice this AM when I realized how worn out she was to keep her home. I wasn’t thinking straight. Nothing to do now and my stressing about it won’t help. I know that many kids have taken their tests while sick and exhausted.
We all made and still make mistakes (I’m discovering whole new ways to mess up my second child!). In the grand scheme of things, this isn’t so bad. Your daughter’s a junior, right? Not to make light of it, but she can retake later in the spring, or next fall if her scores drop. This can be chalked up to a learning experience. I think I would worry more getting through the evening show than the SAT. Hopefully she can find a place to rest between performances.
Sounds more like the issue is that your child is over-extended in the attempt to pack a resume for college. Part of the reason that schools look upon the whole resume is that they can see if a child can handle multiple things. Life is rough. Getting sick is part of life. Is she going to miss tests in college if she doesn’t feel well? How about work? Is she going to miss work whenever she has a headache and a sore throat? Being able to power through life’s hardships is a sign of strength. Don’t pity her. Tell her you are proud of her for pushing through it. Look at her schedule and see if maybe she should back off on one or two things. I know my kids have had to figure out that they cannot rationally be involved in everything. Something always suffers…usually the child.
Have her favorite comfort food waiting for her when you pick her up; give her a blanket, her favorite spot on the couch and the Netflix remote. Let her go back to sleep and heck I would even let her sleep in on Monday. Tell her you goofed and you are sorry and you are learning as you go as well.
@novicemom23kids A big hug to your daughter. Hopefully, she will do fine. My daughter is headed into a big show next weekend, with a raging cold. Massive tech rehearsals at the theater every night this coming week. That said, she does NOT have to sit the SAT, which she will be taking after her last performance. So your post has made me feel grateful for life’s small blessings.
It’s always hard when your child is sick. Hang in there and try not to feel guilty. Indeed, sometimes life throws you a curve and you have to slog through the commitments you have made. If it turns out to be too much, maybe she can scale back her schedule in the future and will have learned a useful lesson about life balance.
@mamaedefamilia – Yes – the show must go on… Good luck to your daughter with her performances – Hopefully she has a chance to recover before the show. Tech week is often worse since there is not the adrenaline and excitement of the live show and audience. Then they are usually already worn out before the performances begin so I hope that your daughter can fight this and feels better. They work so hard on these shows.
This is the exact situation that we are in – tech week (with extra-long weekend rehearsals because of delays due to the snow storms and prolonged school closings) and then show week with 3 performances already this week. If the SAT hadn’t been postponed she would still be exhausted and run down – and likely sick today BUT she would have had this morning to sleep in (call was not until 11) and catch up for the final 2 shows. She is also not alone in this situation – there are 4 other on stage performers, as well as 11-12 pit orchestra students (that my D knows well - there could be a few others), and a dozen or so light/sound/prop/makeup students in the same boat with the SATs. Many are seniors who were trying for one last score - they are really out of time.
We all knew it would be tough - as soon as I realized that she was sick, I should have sent her back to bed. I am going to try to convince her (with permission from the director) to leave and rest for the 2.5 hours between the first show and call for the final performance. The kids usually stay through and “hang out”, eat, socialize - building excitement for the final performance. If they give the go ahead, I will at the very least let her sleep in the car for an hour or so and let her rest her voice.
This is just life in the theater. I am sure it is not different for athletes who have large tournaments or meets at the same time – It does prepare them for life.
@novicemom23kids Hopefully your daughter will rally and all will be well - yes, work in rest wherever you can!
My daughter is a ballet dancer - the demands are quite similar time-wise but at least she doesn’t have to sing with a bad throat! Instead it’s tendonitis and overuse injuries. But as you say, the show must go on! And yes, the lead in is worse than the shows themselves.
Oh, that’s a tough one. Adrenaline will kick in, and she’ll get through the two shows. Adrenaline on stage an amazing thing. Is she a singer? I get that sometimes people have to power through, but sometimes in the real world too, something has to give. Always a judgement call, though. And that is life of a performer. If only one could avoid ever getting sick before performances. Just not possible, unfortunately. Chances are she’ll be fine. Colds and congestion always worse in the morning. Ginger tea, or sage tea might be helpful if she is singer. And saltwater gargle. Fingers crossed for your daughter.
These things happen and most likely it will be fine. My daughter went to school feeling ehh on PSAT day. Went from bad to worse as she felt pretty sure she was going to throw up and looked green enough that they tried to pull her out multiple times but she insisted on continuing on from a seat moved by the door and a trash can next to her She didn’t get a super duper score but it was higher than her non-sick sibling got.
^ exactly. I’m not sure how the OP knew there would be a snowstorm that cancels the SAT exam. It seems if anything, the child and parent tried to schedule these events so they wouldn’t conflict. And no one can anticipate when they get a sore throat impacting performances.
I’m sure everything turned out alright, now that time has passed. I hope her scores turn out how she wants!
I actually took my SAT with a full blown concussion. It was the weirdest experience of my life. I ended up tanking it, but thankfully they let me postpone my ACT until after I recovered and scored well.
Hope to hear scores were not disappointing. There was really nothing to lose by sending her. I have done the same. With AP testing and exams and subject tests and ACTs, just scheduling tests can be an ordeal. My kid arrived home from boarding school and exams last June, exhausted from the end of school year…and I sent her to take her SAT the next morning. They are kids. They can recover.
Me too, but that was back in the dark ages. We had a Friday night football game, and I had my ‘bell rung’ which at the time, was no big deal; finished the game. (We won.) Took the SAT the next morning. Didn’t do too well.
She is still waiting on the those scores. We did not cancel them, although I am not sure if that was a wise decision. It was interesting that when i picked her up she looked exhausted but when I asked how they went she said “they were so easy, I finished all sections with time left over. The hardest part was staying awake and focused to check them over for the last few minutes” I am not sure if they were indeed easier then she expected (she did put some time in with the practice tests) or if in fact she really had no idea how badly she was doing… time will tell.
She was a trooper and completed both performances. Between shows I did have her sleep in my car for almost 2 hours. My husband and i even remarked about how much energy she had during the second show and how much better she was looking – then at intermission, the director found us and shared that as soon as she left the stage she sat in the corner of the girls dressing room and fell asleep! She rallied for the final Act, smiled through curtain call and post performance cast photos, and then slept for 20 hours straight. She missed 4 days of school after but is now feeling much better. I think they should be out before spring break and we will have to decide if she takes the ACT, the new SAT, or if we are finished with the 2 tries that she has.
She didn’t get a super duper score but it was higher than her non-sick sibling got.
