<p>the thing is, this kid cheated and his friends helped him all along the way and NOW they want to tell as if NOW its some new moral dilema...what suddenly changed, and I don't buy the "well NOW its about college' ...something changed here for the OP and his friend and I wonder what it is</p>
<p>What suddenly changed is probably some of the friends realize that due to their friend's cheating, the friend may get into a better college than they will. The friends don't realize that they contributed to this situation.</p>
<p>exactly...a bit of peer pressure, not abetting, etc. could have gone a long way..the fact that the OPs friend told him/her what they did shows that the cheater thought it would okay with them, becuase so far it was</p>
<p>I know, that finally, the OP sees this was not right, but to get all self rightous after letting it slide seems disengenous....</p>
<p>I sense there's a backstory here that the OP needs to fill us in on. Are you in one of the leadership positions that your "friend" has lied about? Are you both in competition for the same college? You talk about a plagiarized essay as a breach of contract and illegal; almost like you want him arrested and thrown in the slammer. And yet, his high school cheating was not threatening to you and was just accepted as a part of who he was. Why don't you enlighten us as to the REAL reason behind your current outrage toward this particular individual and why you want to take him down?</p>
<p>Before I reply to monty_mum, I just wanted to thank those who gave sound advice. I understand that this situation alters itself in the varying perspectives and that each person is obligated to this kind of issue differently. I see why I would be seen as a 'tattle-tale', but I never believed in that word unless the subject at hand were to conspicuously rat out their friend for personal gain. </p>
<p>Monty_mum, you infer that I may be in the same competitive bracket as my friend, but (forgive my lack of modesty) we are not. His GPA is much lower than mine and I am often indignant at his lack of academic priorities. We are not in competition for anything. I just find that he should be held accountable for his actions. I know it is difficult to regard him as a friend these days. Here is more information on how the situation came to be. At a younger age (from elementary up to middle school), we were quite close. We were both religious and would often talk about God and afterlife. However, in recent years, he has changed. He has become a dark and mysterious individual. Many other students think of him as 'scary'. He has an unfortunate obsession with guns and cars, constantly getting excited at merely seeing some sort of sports car. Even as a friend, I have found his interests and actions to be rather pathetic. I know it is indeed judgmental of me to do so, but I can't help but feel irked at the feeling of associating myself with him. However, the reason I haven't blocked out completely is that I still do feel a bit of sympathy for him. </p>
<p>Now the reason why his cheated essay hit me so hard was because he was the only one and frankly the first person I knew personally who had done it. All of my other friends invested their time and effort into preparing their own essays. His routine cheating habits at school seemed almost diminuitive in comparison to the college admissions process. Here, all of the peers I knew would be working honestly. To think that he would present himself in this manner in his application would be the work of a fraud. It would be unnatural of me not to feel anger at his acceptance while my other friends, who worked, for the most part, honestly were rejected. I have no wish to see him suffer, but I do wish to see that learns responsibility. I wish to have life teach him a lesson so that he does continue on this path of self-destruction. I admit that my constant indignance has distanced us a little, but I only wish that he would learn honestly and integrity, so that it saves him before it is too late.</p>
<p>And kb8to24, I would not be the one ruin his life. If I take any action, I would act as the executioner, not the sentencer. His responsible for what happens to him.</p>
<p>I would definitely notify the college if I had the proof, like a testimonial from the friend who wrote the essay. But if you don't, you can't prove anything, and, as sad as it may be, it'd be a futile effort.</p>
<p>That being said, you CAN argue, however, that he lied about his activities and request that his records be audited. Better yet, ask a counselor from your school to request an auditing.
I wouldn't give a **** about the people who keep saying that it would be too "tattletale" of you to do it. Honestly, the "quit snitching" attitude is so elementary. It's pretty scary how many American adults and even educated students here exhibit it.</p>
<p>it's not your problem; disregard it, liars will be caught later on in life</p>
<p>He's obviously going through something difficult. Inside he's still the optimistic kid you used to know so don't shut him out. If you talk to him about this it could help him. He won't renounce cheating immediately, but maybe he will be reminded that cheating is just a symptom of his dysfunctional life. (Don't say it in those words.) Don't be snobby enough to dismiss his hobbies. He could end up designing ferarris for a living.</p>
<p>There's no reason to assume that he will get himself in trouble and eventually fail in life. There are many ways for dishonest people to succeed. It's common and legal for people to claim they wrote books they didn't write (ghostwriting), and many writers are dishonest in other ways.</p>
<p>Whether you decide to rat him out or not depends on whether you decide if you're still his friend. If you're his friend you should be his friend first, and a student second. Please don't delude yourself into thinking getting him in trouble will teach him honesty. If you want him to be in trouble because you think it's unfair to your other friends, that's understandable, but don't pretend it's for his own good. When people have made a habit of breaking the rules they're likely to continue doing so when their situation gets more difficult. He will probably end up worse if you turn him in.</p>
<p>I understand that people do change. I read a couple things and it appears many students think cheating is okay on college apps during the process, but deeply regret it AFTER they are accepted. Many of them carry a guilty burden with them afterward. Be conscientious on your actions. I know in my school, there are a lot of people you don't want to do such a thing to.</p>
<p>U know Reed has this honor code thing, and when I was applying there I got all fired up over honor issues after researching thm. I am not a Reedie but I will use their example. What ur thinking is kinda wht the school wants their students to act. When u see sth dishonest, u should act. But their honor system says first try try try to solve the problem within the community itself as reporting higher up should only be the very last option. Talk with ur friend and advice him, but try to have one or two more close friends to mediate this talk. More friends intervening to advice him may knock some sense to him.
But as far as reporting to colleges go, I don't think you should do it. It will screw up his future before he even gets a chance to write his wrongs. Maybe, some friends intervening to advise him may give him the compunction to act honestly in regards to his applications and life. Talk talk talk and keep on talking to him. Rope in ur friends as well.</p>
<p>They're not friends. True friends don't back stab each other. Talk to your friend if he/she really is your friend.</p>
<p>If I were you, I wouldn't tell since if your "friend" finds out, there could be revenge heading your way. Trust me, retribution isn't pretty.</p>
<p>I mean "right his wrongs" :). I was so sleepy.
All u can do is advice him tactfully not forcefully. Nothing else. There is a certain limit to how much we can help someone. I mean we can't change someone over night. Who knows. Maybe u thought all your advising has not changed him, but maybe just maybe he might start reevaluating his actions gradually. He might start questioning himself "Why is my friend avoiding me?" or "Is my actions worth it?"
On the other hand, if you report him he might just get vindictive and angry without thinking it through. Give me the guidance and support to change.</p>
<p>I think the OP was the "friend" who wrote the essay. Hes too scared that someone will find out and get his life screwed. Why else would someone call the university and tell them that his "friend" cheated. Hes involved. I sense it, I know it.
Peace.</p>
<p>Karma will do its job.</p>
<p>I know how frustrating, even maddening, it is to watch cheaters & liars seemingly "get away with murder." A schoolmate of my daughter used to do it constantly, SUPPORTED by her mother, who was aware of the pathological lying. I will admit that like the OP, I was tempted to notify persons in authority. Mother & daughter seemed to have an entire school hoodwinked. However, eventually, as others have indicated, karma began working its historic charm -- without any help from me. (1) the elementary school parent and student body gradually began to see that 2 and 2 were not adding up, & the student graduated with a reputation of being unethical & semi-psycho; (2) Mom & daughter tried a rerun of Act One at the next place -- a private high school; however, she couldn't cut the mustard & ended up with a 3.4. Ever in denial, daughter applied only to Reach colleges; got denied by every one, is now at a small LAC somewhere.</p>
<p>(God sees the truth, and waits.)</p>
<p>as alonzo in training day said," It's not what you know; it's what you can prove
looks to me like your a sucka. Idiot *****</p>
<p>Gazette, my friend doesn't give a flying damn whether or not he wrote the essay. This is what I'm trying to say. He doesn't have a guilty conscience when it comes to cheating. </p>
<p>And greenvision, I don't care if you don't believe me. I'll tell you right now that I am 100% telling the truth, and I'll also tell you that your stupid theories are not helping me solve my dilemma.</p>
<p>seems they's a general complacency around this thread</p>
<p>I say stay out. Unfortunately, this is more common than you realize. You could up ruining and I mean really ruining two lives, at least regarding their college careers and that's pretty heavy stuff. I know at least five or six kids whose parents wrote their essays or at least tweaked them enough to claim a part in having written them, do I agree? Of course not, I think it teaches the kids nothing, but its not my problem or business and I would never in a million years think of ratting them out, and ruining someones life. You claim to be a friend, the repurcussions of what this kid will face should he get accepted will not be YOUR problem, it will be his, let him deal with the consequences. STAY OUT OF IT! Trust me, you will live to regret it and not be able to live with the damage you have caused, it will only lead to bigger problems is how I see it. Just concentrate on your own life and getting into college.</p>