The simple truth is that for many kids, a 4.0 in HS is table stakes if they want to optimize their chances for getting into highly selective universities. This includes classes that they either do not like or are taught by a sub-par teacher. However, it is these classes that will actually challenge them to work on their own to get that A. The same will happen once they get into a University - it doesn’t end in HS.
Grades in college aren’t immaterial. You can’t study abroad in many programs if your GPA is less than 3.0. Many grad school programs have a 3.0 cutoff as well (and some have a higher cutoff) – they won’t even consider your application if you don’t clear that. It is hard to get things like REUs (summer science research opportunities) without a high GPA, too. In a doctorate program, you can lose your funding if you get bad grades (below 3.0 in my kid’s program). Grades aren’t everything, but good grades open doors. And especially in STEM majors, those GPAs can be challenging to maintain.
That said, one of my kids with a 3.7 UW in HS had great college admissions results (unhooked). Colleges are dying to find genuine, interested, interesting kids. They don’t want automatons. So there is a balance that can be struck.
btw- there will be required classes for one’s major that one dislikes. But, one still needs that knowledge base. I still recall (without fondness) some of those classes. The rest of those for the field made getting through them worthwhile.
I said in some sense and for some people. Not disagreeing with you entirely. Getting bad grades in classes I didn’t like and getting good grades in classes I liked work for many people. It really depends on your kid and yourself. Look, I went to a high school where I could have gotten 4.0 gpa if I studied diligently but even at that age, getting good grades was not my priority. Often, A in the class absolutely does not mean you know more than a kid who got a B. Often, it means you studied the narrow material that show up in that test. The best test of smartness is work performance that combines many factors. I recommend getting out of the perfectionist mind and finding an area you enjoy learning.
@SouthFloridaMom9 I was like your hubby and couldn’t wait until I got out of college with any degree that allowed me to graduate. But I hated math classes even though I had 800 in SAT math but found I liked English Lit classes even though I never wrote papers longer than one page in high school. I just couldn’t take being spoon fed the materials or follow set structures of learning. I am very good at learning on my own and worked 80 hours per week for several years to set up my business. It proved to be very successful and I retired early. As a result, I never told my kid to get As in his classes. In fact, I told him he didn’t have to go to college but he had to work to gain skills so he could earn a living, and that scared him enough he started getting motivated to study when he became a sophomore. He got several Bs in classes he didn’t like but still made it to Stanford REA. People should not equate being lazy in school with being lazy in work. Some of kids who get best grades are often laziest kids on the job and vice versa. I never looked at job applicant’s grades when I hired. Instead, I gave them 3 months trial period and let them go or hired them permanently after the 3 months trial period. All of my staff proved to be very good workers.
But the school “template” is meant to expose kids beyond job prep and build their general knowledge base. Both come in handy in life.
The kids fussing over a B or C are often trying to get into fiercely competitive colleges. In a way, it’s like wanting to be an Olympic athlete. You don’t get to not place in a few events. Nor say, “Well, that one doesn’t interest me.” You dont just dream your way onto the team or into that tippy top college.
Do I agree with this? Not entirely. I’d rather see kids at colleges where they can truly thrive, not just where they think there’s more prestige. But there are plenty of kids who do thrive on these levels of challenge. They get their A grades in classes even when they think they don’t matter to their specific 14-17 year old career ideas.
If you are so smart to get As in classes you don’t like, imagine how much better you will do in the classes you like. What I am saying is more effort should be spent in finding the area you like working on than just grind through. I am not saying you should not try to meet the minimum passing grades in the classes you don’t like or even try to get As. What I am saying is believe in yourself because not many people will believe in you. To succeed in work or business, you have to play to your strengths, not worry about your weaknesses. Finding your strengths and going offensive with it is the best way in Business, but this attitude may not be the way to go in personal life.
^ then don’t set your sights on fiercely competitive colleges.
I’d bet your kid didn’t get into S by only focusing on what he wanted. And I’m curious where he got less than A. Some elective? Fine. I’m also guessing his ECs met the expectations.
A number of parents want to give general advice based on their one or two kids. We have to understand that what we see isn’t always the one and only basis-- especially when advising other hs kids.
Answer to the op: Because our generation made them to freak. Because they face more competitive environment than our generation had, even before considering the changes that AI will shove up to their career.
Whatever worked for our college drop out or 2.0 gpa self 2+ decades ago aren’t likely going to work for the most of them. So what’s the point of keep rambling about the good old days?
Regarding the Stanford tangent, it was my experience that “freaking out over grades” was not limited to getting in to undergrad. They had mental health counselors come out to our dorm following the first midterms because a notable portion of students within the dorm were “freaking out” after getting their first B’s. One student I knew would “freak out” after getting an A- as a final grade. In the rare instances this occurred, she’d take the class a 2nd time, so the A- wouldn’t appear on her college transcript. There were also plenty of students who seemed to be fine with getting less than A grades. It was far from a uniform population.
@websensation it sounds as though you are fortunate enough that someone (your parents?) are paying your way regardless of what grades you got/are getting. Not everyone is that fortunate. My kids had to get certain grades and test scores to go to the college they wanted (or it wasn’t affordable for us).
@tutumom2001 EXACTLY!!! I don’t care about ‘perfection’ at all – but my children have to live with the consequences of whatever grades they achieve and for some of them that meant not being able to attend where they wanted because is was over our budget.
Serious question, have you (OP) ever reread your own threads? Are you in any position to postulate? I am confused, so maybe you share your account?
Agree with this very much.
Ironically it is my H who pushes my son to stay in college (he could do some tech stuff without it, or without as much). I think H wishes he knew then what he knows now (i.e., how to address dyslexia-type learning disabilities). When it takes 3-4 times as long to read something as it does a normal student (my husband back in the day) it is very hard to see the value of Art History. 
@Sybylla what do my old threads have to do with this?
Automatic merit aid, or any merit aid, isn’t available at most California state schools, so some particular GPA target was never part of the picture for my kids. I was not even aware of such a thing until I came on c.c.
Grades can certainly open more college options to students. It’s important to get the best grades you can. But at what cost? Depression? Eating disorders? Where is the stopping point? People are humans and they break when too much pressure is placed on them, especially with young kids who are still growing emotionally. We need to teach kids that a degree is merely a means to an end and a tool to get their foot in the career world. It’s not where, but how they go to school that counts.
@coolguy40 I do not disagree but with the cost of college these days, my kids had to have good grades and test scores for us to afford MOST of them. They wanted the experience of going away to school, and they had to be 3.5+ students with 28+ ACT scores to get into the affordable realm for even mid tier schools.
I guess people do better than me at coming up with this college cash.
@toomanyteens In a way, you’re right, I guess it depends where you live. In Texas, where I live, there are abundant in-state options for students who don’t graduate in the top 15% of their class, and a very robust economy. I always tell my daughter, you get to go where my checkbook says you can. She can work summers, and part time if she wants a dorm, which I think is reasonable if she wants that college experience. Fortunately, she doesn’t have any desire to go to an exotic school(fingers crossed!)
@coolguy40 I assure you that here in the northeast that is NOT the case. As a matter of fact one of my kids went to W. TX A&M because of the great merit she got and in state tuition based on her grades and test scores - even with travel it was a bargain compared to local colleges