<p>I should be getting my housing assignment in a month and I will find out who my roommate is. Should I discuss habits/rules with her on the phone (soon after I get it) or wait until move in day?</p>
<p>Also, what rules did you set? I'd like to get an idea of some of the things that should be discussed.</p>
<p>Okay I had the same question!
Is it weird to contact your roomate first? Or would that be awkward..</p>
<p>Contact your roommate to figure who is bringing what and to just say hey. But I would wait until you get there before you start laying out different rules though (i.e. sex, bedtime, etc.)</p>
<p>I've heard of people calling them first to discuss who should bring what, so I guess that's the norm? I much rather text them instead.... I just don't know when would be too soon to start talking about rules.</p>
<p>It's not weird to contact your roommate first. There're only two of you, and someone has to do it.</p>
<p>Typical rules are things like listening to music with headphones when the other person is studying, and working by desk lamp rather than the overhead light when the other person is asleep. Can you use the other person's things? With or without asking? Is food shared or individual? Are you going to want any shared items in the room (TV, refrigerator, microwave)? Who will bring them? Beds bunked or unbunked (space permitting)? Who gets top bunk? Basically anything that you think might be an issue when you're suddenly sharing a room for a year.</p>
<p>I didn't get a phone number, so I first contacted my roommate by email. I offered AIM and phone #, but we just emailed eachother to figure out what we would bring. I would wait until you get there to discuss rules.</p>
<p>Honestly, wait until you meet the person face-to-face. You might wind up with somebody whose personal rules are close to your own, so no awkward discussion needed. </p>
<p>I'm not saying that ground rules with a roommate aren't necessary - they are - but you don't want to come off as too authoritarian unnecessarily. Talk about it on the first night, right before you get drunk together - keeps it casual.</p>
<p>Making rules helps but it cannot guarantee anything.
It's really hard to change a person. Basically,don't expect to change a person.If you can contact,you can try to appear friendly to her.If she accepts you as a friend,everything will be easier to handle.</p>
<p>You don't have to make rules now. You can make it later.</p>
<p>I'd probably include a little bit about your lifestyle in your introduction, something like, "Oh, I'm really looking forward to starting college. I hear that if you're disciplined you can get almost all your work done between 7 and 6, and then we'll have the evenings and weekends to go wild!" and seeing how that goes over. Alternately, if your roommate starts out by saying something like that, you could respond, "You know, I'm looking forward to taking all afternoon classes so I can sleep late 7 days a week. But then I'm a night owl!"</p>
<p>I wouldn't introduct the word "rules" into the conversation at all. If the other person brings that up, fine. But I've generally found that people are more responsive to me trying to be considerate of their habits, wants, and needs (such as "going wild" in other people's rooms if they want to study "at home" in the evenings, or trying to be quiet when getting up for an 8 am class if they've been studying until 4), and then politely asking for similar consideration on the most important things ("Hey, you know I've got this 8 am class and I was just wondering if it would be possible for you to use headphones when you're listening to music after 11 pm on Mondays and Wednesdays, so I could get to sleep"). If I start talking about "rules" I come off as demanding and inflexible, and that means I can reduce other people's willingness to work out compromises with me.</p>
<p>The truth is, we can adapt to an awful lot that we don't initially think we can adapt to. Not everything, but a lot. And in adapting to the ways that other people live, we learn something about ourselves and about getting along in a world full of difficult people. So I don't really think everything needs to be worked out in advance. When your roommate annoys you -- which is going to happen -- figure out what you can live with and what you can't, and then work on the latter stuff. When you annoy your roommate -- which is going to happen -- try to figure out what bothers her the most and try to figure out a solution that you can both live with. And if this approach fails -- some sets of roommates really don't have the mutual skills to work this stuff out or are especially incompatible with one another -- ask the RA for help. That's one of the reason they have RAs.</p>
<p>If I had it to do over again, I would ask my first roommate not to have sex in our room after I had gone to bed, but I would offer to stay late at the library a couple of days a week. On the other hand, I wouldn't bother asking that until after I realized we were going to have a problem (actually, I think I'd wait until the morning after I realized we were going to have a problem rather than bringing it up while they were halfway through the act). I never had sex in the room and never wanted to, but I wouldn't have appreciated someone contacting me before I even got to school to tell me I couldn't, you know?</p>
<p>For now just decide what to bring. Make rules when you get there.</p>
<p>and do not let things slide because thats what makes you hate your roommate even more.</p>
<p>If they end up being cool roommates thats good. if not, w.e it's just freshman year. Everyone deals with an bad roommate.</p>
<p>The only rule you need is for them to put a tie on the outside door knob.</p>
<p>I would hold off or at least introduce in a subtle manner through normal conversation, such as: "My sister always plays music so loudly, it drives me crazy, I'm glad I don't have to deal with that anymore." </p>
<p>In which, they'd hopefully get the hint. Setting rules straight off the bat can work (though chances are, they'll forget within a week), but it also can turn against you and push your roommate away.</p>
<p>here's a potentially helpful linkhttp://<a href="http://www.collegeview.com/articles/CV/campuslife/roommate_boundries.html:">www.collegeview.com/articles/CV/campuslife/roommate_boundries.html:</a></p>