Settling for a college that doesn't seem right

<p>I wish for y'all that certainty that D had. I'm sorry your kids are not getting a clear signal. Do you think that they realize that all schools have warts? One school too much booze, another stifling strict, another no rep, another with none of those problems but the campus well and truly frightens them. They all have flaws. At least that's what D told me . Maybe she was lying to herself to justify her choice but...I don't think so. </p>

<p>Slightly OT: Looking at this thread makes me realize why my kid had such an easy time of it. D'uh. </p>

<p>She met a few kids (21?) at a scholarship weekend and they had all agreed to e-mail each other with their decisions and all agreed her school had moved to "a" top position on their list. Some (9?)committed to attending even if their scholarships were NOT increased. There were enough of them that ultimately decided on the school , D didn't really have much of a transition. </p>

<p>Heck 9 super-smart friends was 6 more than high school (not that her HS friends weren't smart..they were..just ...well ...I'll stop right there. You get it, I'm sure. )</p>

<p>And really she would have done just fine (I think 11 or 12 ended up coming) even if she had to pick her friends out of that small group. She bonded with one girl immediately and they've been roomies for a year and are rooming together next year, too.</p>

<p>If y'all do visit again, dump your kid out on campus about 9:00 a.m. and go pick them up at midnite. (This my darling W's "throw them off the end of the dock to learn to swim" approach to final college selection - or any similar issue. I'd at least meet them for lunch. W would be in the hotel jacuzzi. )</p>

<p>I don't know what kind of a selection she applied to, but maybe the problem is that the schools are too specialized? </p>

<p>A good regular state university can be a godsend to kids like this. There is anything you want--intense artiness, greeks, geeky technical kids, science/research kids, international students, Christians,--you name it--it is there for the taking. </p>

<p>I have never understood why the bias against big universities on this board. I came alive in that environment and lots of kids do and thrive. </p>

<p>So...if the problem is she applied to a bunch of small specialized schools and they do not appeal maybe the issue is she's not a small school person.</p>

<p>With a gap year, FIRST AND FOREMOST LOOK INTO WHETHER OR NOT YOU/YOUR SPOUSE'S HEALTH INSURANCE WILL COVER YOUR D.</p>

<p>Two years ago, I got into several schools with excellent merit money but still was filled was angst when choosing a college. I was convinced that I, a non-drinker/non-partier would be lonely/isolated at the state schools I was considering, that I wouldn't find intellectual challenge, etc. I considered taking a gap year and applying to a whole different breed of schools, but my mom flat out said, "NO. You got all this merit money; pick somewhere!" So, I made a last minute visit to my best financial choice, a school I had always loved since visiting it (despite it's relative lack of prestige and party reputation--which scared the **** out of me, honestly). I picked that school on the last day of April with a conflicted heart, half-sure I would transfer to a smaller, more prestigious, and much, much more expensive school. There were some challenges, yes--a horrible experience with a department that had been one of my many reasons for choosing the school as well as a realization that I couldn't, due to my physical disability, likely follow my original major/career plan.</p>

<p>However, so far, my experience with this school has been absolutely wonderful! The large credit cap (12-21 credits a semester all cost the same) has allowed me to not only change majors but to realistically pursue a double major (technically a double degree- BA and BSW) and minor and be on track (hopefully, I'll stay there) to graduate in four years. The variety of classes has been wonderful, and the professors have been, with very few exceptions, wonderful. Even though this is a state flagship (though a small one with slightly less than 12,000 undergrads and about 3,000 grads), I have found my professors very accessible and willing to help, setting up co-ops for me, arranging independent studies, giving me great, involved undergraduate research in multiple fields as early as my freshman year, etc. In fact, I have even become good friends with one of my instructors from last year, a brillant, amazing, incredibly nice woman who sends me pictures from her overseas and calls me a "rock star"--this is, I think, in large part, to the fact I orginally stood out so well in our 83 person lecture Some classes have been <em>very</em> challenging indeed, and taking 19-21 credits every semester has certainly kept me busy!</p>

<p>Socially, I've been very happy so far as well. I'm in several student groups and hold leadership positions in many of them. I've met great friends thorough these groups without going drinking/partying. Additionally--and this is something I'd NEVER thought I'd do in high school, being a non-drinker and non-partier--I joined a wonderful sorority the second semester of my freshman year, and it has been an amazing experience. My sisters are amazing people, and it's already openned doors to leadership and scholarship experiences, not to mention many great friendship/sisterhood activitiies and just random memories.</p>

<p>Finally, I appreciate the relative financial freedom my choice has given me so far. Because of the relatively (below $10,000 a year) COA, my parents have agreed to pay out of pocket for my undergrad., barring any major changes, of course, and in doing so, leave money in my college accounts to pay for grad. school. In hindsight, I'm so glad (and so are my parents, probably) that I didn't go to one of my more expensive ($20,000-$25,000) choices and drain my parent's wallets and college accounts or take out loans.</p>

<p>My point is that, even though I was really, really doubting my choice of school at the time, the time I've spent here (I make no predictions for the future--no one knows what tomorrow could bring!) has been far beyond my expectations and has taken me down paths I never could have foreseen as an angst-filled HS senoir.</p>

<p>Best of luck to your D!</p>

<p>mombot and tobia_e</p>

<p>You make good points about the opportunities of a larger setting. I spent part of my UG years at a huge state U and had a very rewarding experience there. In more ways than one--it was so inexpensive that I could pay tuition, room and board from the social security benefits I received after my father's death and have money left over to save for the next phase of my education. Though some of the classes were large, the profs were excellent.</p>

<p>tobia_e, you sound like the kind of person who would thrive anywhere. I'm happy to hear you are doing so well--what is BSW?</p>

<p>curm brought up e-mail, and it made me think to suggest that she (and yours, GeorgiaT) might want to go on facebook and locate the 2012 groups for these schools. Spending an hour or two reading the wall and looking at the other acceptees' profiles might really give a kid a sense of whether they fit in. Might even find someone to IM and chat with.</p>

<p>Oh, I'll bet BSW is Bachelors in Social Work. I was reading the S as Science.</p>

<p>
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she really wants to get going and be somewhere this fall

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</p>

<p>Is there good reason to think that she'll be at all interested in, cooperative about, re-doing the application process? Or is it likely that the problems that occurred this year--such as the lack of enthusiasm, the refusal to apply to her #1--simply reoccur next year?</p>

<p>How would the "far away" college look if it were closer? If good, then perhaps that college might be worth another look before a final decision is made.</p>

<p>It's ironic that her desire to go to college this fall did not translate into her being proactive about the applicaitons. I think that the current decision-making crunch has her wishing she had put more time into the front end of the process. So, I do think she'd be much more involved if she decided to do it over again this fall. (Plus all the essays are done, and the Common App is done. All she'd have to do is look at schools.)</p>

<p>I think the 'far away' college would look pretty good if it were closer. So, yes, worth taking another look.</p>

<p>Heron,</p>

<p>As an option to a gap year check out the NACAC</a> - Home page for options on May 1. Maybe something will be available that your D likes.</p>