Sex scandals and boarding school

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
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I am surprised that parents and kids have so few questions about the darker side of teen life and how the schools deal with it - or try to prevent it. Like it or not, our kids are going to be exposed to all of these things during High School, whether at boarding school or any other school unless they are cocooned (in which case it will happen later). I have a feeling people are reluctant to air dirty laundry but it shouldn’t be a secret that these things happen.

At Loomis they have a pretty vigorous health education program especially for Freshman and Sophomores aimed at education about the impact of drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. Some kids ignore this advice.

This year they had a series of workshops about sex using a well-respected educator/speaker who tailored her discussion to the different classes and age groups. This was clearly in response to the St. Pauls events. She apparently has great rapport and made a big impression. I believe several prep schools have had the same program this year.

That said, there are known make out spots on campus and I am sure the deans know where they are. Kids are also free to walk off campus for dates where there are also plenty of spots for fooling around.

Loomis is a two strike school, but kids who get caught with drugs or alcohol go into a mandatory counselling program after the first strike. They recently elevated distribution of drugs / alcohol to immediate referral to disciplinary committee, basically making that one-strike. There is some indication that the school may be moving away from the two strikes. Kids from wealthy families do not appear to get preferential treatment.

Students with leadership roles (prefects / RAs) can be demoted at first strike.

They breathalyze kids going in to dances and other social events. Rooms are subject to search if there is any indication of prohibited substances (including e-cigs). This is not an infrequent occurrence.

The high number of day students means that alcohol and tobacco make it on to campus more easily than at some more remote schools. Kids have been able to use fake IDs at places in town, but there is currently a crackdown. There were recently 2 serious incidents related to alcohol at the school and the president of the school, to her credit, met with every class and e-mailed all parents. I appreciated that approach instead of trying to cover things up.

I believe there is less abuse/sale of stimulants (ADD drugs) than at some other schools, possibly because the academic pressure / intensity is a bit less.

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Pretty cool video. I will definitely share that with my oldest.

The issue I am familiar with is when they both wants tea but they also want tequila. And unfortunately after enough tequila, one does not realize the other person doesn’t want tea anymore. Tea happens.

Or sometimes, you invite someone over for tea and they agree. Tea was lovely and suddenly you think that maybe you will have tea parties all the time. However, you find out that your friend is really a coffee drinker and would rather go to Starbucks for some edgy, dark roasted coffee than have another cup of boring tea with you.

You might then ask for your previous to pay for the tea he drank seeing that he was never sincerely a tea drinker in the first place.

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@laenen, lol! Some time ago, I asked a question here on CC about what parents told their college age sons about consent. That very long, and often very heated, thread is here on CC for anyone who may want to read it and it touches on a number of points. But there are a couple of things that further complicate having this discussion with BS kids. The first is that most BS have a code of conduct that forbids intimacy at this level (although it happens in spite of that.) So to have an open discussion about how only yes means yes when no is the only acceptable answer is a challenge. . The other is that many seniors are “of age” while most of the rest of the students are minors, so the issue of statutory rape (because of age, even with consent) is also part of the equation.

When I first read about this case, I felt like it was a tragedy for both of them.

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MODERATOR’S NOTE:
I’m not sure when having tea became a euphemism for sex, since the ex-NFL cheerleader was not having tea. If we’ve come to this point in the conversation, it seems to me that there is nothing original left to say and the conversation has entered the rabbit hole of a debate. Deleting some posts that crossed the line and closing.