Sexual Abuse

Parent Cafe
1

<p>I posted this in another forum but I might recieve more advice/suggestions from parents. Please help me!</p>

<p>Hi all,</p>

<p>So this is going to be quite a wordy post given my rather abrupt title. It's pretty difficult for me to write it because it seems like I'm sharing too much of myself but this is an anonymous post and it's important for me to say this. </p>

<p>I've always loved school and over the past couple of years, I've developed a great interest in international relations and politics. I'm really interested in social justice as well- I've held a number of campaigns, raising over 40,000 dollars for various NGO's and issues I'm passionate about. I know about 7 languages; I've started my own non-profit. I've been interviewed on tv, in newspapers, magazines, radio,etc. I was also a straight A student, with about 8 AP classes( to date) and 7-10 honors classes. And needless to say, I love Georgetown.</p>

<p>However, this past year, just a number of things happened. My parents got to the brink of divorce, I got pretty sick but, most importantly, I was sexually abused. Okay, I said it and it's not so hard for me to type it out now because it's there, in written type but okay, I don't want this to become a sad, pity party while I wallow in my misery because I have so much to fault for. I said that, okay, I wouldn't let it get to me and I did- and that's fine, because for me, its a really big deal. Other people can get over things like that but I'm not that strong. But I let myself wallow in misery and depression for months. I cut off all my extracurriculars, I stopped going to school and I would just sleep- the only place I could make up dreams and not have to face everything. It seemed like the world was just moving so fast, everyone was going and going and I was just stuck and I had no control over my life. I would get so mad, so sad when I would see people in books, tv- eveything!- mocking me- telling me that you can do it, you can get over it- you have to be strong and brave and courageous and I was so frustrated because I couldnt. I wasn't like those people who faced their hurdles and got over it- I was stuck in a mire of self loathing-actually, that sounds pretty nice but it wasnt that. I was stuck in ambivalance and it was the worst feeling- I didnt' feel strong emotions- I was just stuck, stuck in myself, in a lull that just stuck and wouldnt go. I was like this for months-needless to say, my grades dropped to C's and B's and I didnt' care. I let myself go. </p>

<p>I said that I had started my own non profit; months before, my team and I had spent months planning a trip to visit one of our sites in Ghana. We had won grants and the trip was finalized- so I went. I had even put together a half-hearted schedule. I wanted to go so badly- so I could get away from this sickness that was eating away at me, slowly. So I went. And I learned. Many of the girls we worked with came from homes where they were abused, and exploited. Many of them had even been sold into the slave trade and had come to the place where we worked as a safe refuge. We would film them, capturing their stories and we would sing songs with them. Sometimes we would dance and other times, we would cry together. We held workshops for them- public speaking, self defense,etc. When I saw these girls- who came into the room laughing, joking, smiling shyly at times but always happy- I would look at myself in amazement. I looked at where I was, in this heartland of Ghana, surrounded by slums and dirt, and think that these girls were amazing. I looked at their lives and I found myself renergzied again- the passions I felt so much for- poverty, economics, foreign policy,etc.- came alive again. I found a reason to keep working- to keep doing what I had built up in the last couple of years. It wasnt useless or meaningless- we gave these girls books, school supplies, enough money for their orgnization to continue giving them lunch for another year but more than that, we gave them a medium through which to connect with other girls around the world. The last night I was with the girls, surrounded by their kisses( sometimes on the but for the little kids who were so tiny they couldn't reach my waist) and hugs, I thought that I can't give up. I finally found that 'thing', whatever it was, that I was so jealous of of those people i saw in the movies, tv, in my own life. I was so jealous that they could move on with their lives- andI found a little bit of that. It's not something you find and then you're okay for the rest of your life. It's a day to month to week battle- but I love life not simply for all that it can give me and show me, but for all I can do. I've lobbied with senators-maybe, I can BE that senator. Center for Strategic and International Studies. Institute for International Relations. UN department level jobs. Whatever- but I've found that voice again and I want to work on behalf of women who have been sexually exploited. For Human trafficking. It's an issue that's silenced because it's taboo. It's shameful- It's so extremely hard for me to even write this, even as I know this is anonymous. And that's where my question to you all comes in. If you have even bothered reading all of this, well, I want to go to Georgetown. There is just too much about it I love to list it here- I've loved the school since I was a freshman! But I know, given my academic record, my chances are slim to none. There's a section where you can explain certain circumstances- but well, I don't know whether it is appropriate or not to share what happened to me with the college. I know, didn't I just say that sexual abuse needs a voice? I've already started a campaign on female empowerment issues and dialogue but is this something that I can share with college admissions? I dont want them to see this as a pity factor. Despite not being myself, those two C's and 5 B's were grades I earned regardless. What can I do? I'm doing great this semester as far as grades are concerned( yay gov class!) and I've earned a lot of my trust back but no one knows what really happened to me- they think I was sick for a long period of time and when I speak to them, to their face, I can't bring myself to tell them something that I myself wouldn't know how to react to. But I love Georgetown and I just don't know what to do. Is this something that I can share with college admissions or am I crossing the line? Should I tell my counselor before she writes my college reccomendation letter? What should I do?</p>

<p>Thank you</p>

2

<p>Wow, wonderful story. Thank you for sharing … it brought tears to my eyes.</p>

<p>I am not sure what your status is as a student. Are you in college now? What year? If you can share your academic profile, it might be relevant. No need to lay yourself bare if you don’t have a chance … but it might be worth the risk if you do.</p>

3

<p>Georgetown_gal, your story is very compelling and you have handled yourself in such a gracious and humble way. I praise you for your ability to think through your own struggles with the abuse and it proves that when you give to others your own life heals. If you want to go to Georgetown, I say go for it. Your essay can focus on your experience in Ghana and the girls that you have encountered and what it has done to inspire your own life. If you are comfortable with it, you can tell your story without going in too much detail, but explain that something terrible happened to you that caused you to spiral into depression with the loss of hope and clarity in your own life, and then this expereince happened which in turn healed you and gave you your life back and now you want to give back to these girls and all girls that have experienced the things you have. You do not have to talk about your abuse, but the adcoms that read it may speculate what happened to you. It will explain how your grades went down,etc. You seem to have a lot on the ball with your own non profit organization, talk many languages. I don’t see any of your story as a pity party. Your passion comes through and I think it will come throught for Georgetown. Good luck.</p>

4

<p>Thank you for the reply.</p>

<p>I’m a high school senior.</p>

<p>Academic Profile:</p>

<p>SAT: 2100 ( but I retook them yesterday so hopefully they’ve gone up)</p>

<p>SAT II’S: World History 730</p>

<p>Taking in November: Math IIC, Literature, and Spanish with Listening</p>

<p>Rank( including second semester Junior year)- top 12.5 % ( I know this because I recieved an ELC on track( Eligibility in Local Context for UC’s- given to students in top 4% of their schools and an on-track ELC for students in top 12.5%)</p>

<p>–straight A’s( except for a B+ in Spanish II Honors) until second semester Junior year( 2 C’s, 4 B’s)</p>

<p>Honors/AP classes (9-12):</p>

<p>Geometry Honors, Algebra II Honors, Calc AB AP
English I H, English II H, English III AP, English IV AP
Spanish II H, Spanish III H, Spanish IV AP
Chemistry H, Biology AP
World History AP, US History AP, Government AP</p>

<p>Academic Honors:
High Gold Honors every semester except 2nd semester Junior Year
CSF, NHS
National Merit Semifinalist
Academic Scholarship Recipient
Gold Award for high scholastic achievement
Excellence in English, History, Math awards
etc.,</p>

5

<p>Okay … you have what it takes to get into Georgetown & to do well there. Milkandsugar offers great advice. Go for it! Good luck & let us know how it all works out …</p>

6

<p>Looking at your stats, you have a very good chance.</p>

7

<p>I think you should write an supplemental essay to your application similar to what you have written here and enclose it with your applications. I’d take a chance on you and I think most admissions committees would also find your story compelling.</p>

8

<p>Thank you everyone so much for your replies.</p>

<p>Going to Georgetown( SFS) has been my dream for so long- I am in love with the school, the opportunities, the faculty…everything about it! And I feel almost, it sounds stupide, but invincible- like I can do anything. I suppose I’m just afraid of telling my counselor about this- how does one go about talking about something like this? I sit here and I think about all those girls who will suffer years, YEARS of such abuse and I want to do everything in my power to make this world a little bit safer and better for them.</p>

9

<p>Something that noone has mentioned and it should be, as it is extremely important.</p>

<p>Have you reported the abuse? Was it on going?</p>

<p>If you tell your GC, she is by law, required to report the abuse, and I have a feeling that if it is brought up in your applications, the readers may feel obligated morally, if not legally, to report it as well.</p>

<p>If you are under 18, many educators are required to reported even suspected abuse, so if you are going to tell your counselor, and you haven’t already taken care of this legally, then she/he will.</p>

<p>I do hope that this has been reported and the abuser has been dealt with by legal authorities. </p>

<p>I think your should tell your GC, so she can help you walk through the legal channels. If it has already been dealt with legalliy, if you even allude to it in your essay, I would say that, as the people reading your essay, if you are under 18, may, as I said, feel obligated to call your GC and tell them.</p>

<p>This is not meant to scare you, but this is a good system to protect young people, not to put fear in your heart. And if you haven’t shared this with someone you should.</p>

10

<p>That’s one of my concerns with telling my counselor. I don’t want to create this big, messy scenario- I just want everything to go smoothly. </p>

<p>It was one time- I was assaulted in a parking lot. It was night time and there was no one around. However, a) I don’t know who it was and I would not be able to give any physical descriptions b) I dont have a liscense( I was driving with a permit)</p>

<p>I don’t want to create a big ruckus and get involved in all these legal dealings.</p>

11

<p>Dear Georgetown_Gal, have you been seen by a doctor after the attack? Tested for STDs?</p>

12

<p>First of all, what the previous poster may be alluding to is the mandatory reporting of child abuse that teachers, nurses and others are required to do. Sexual assault is another matter. I believe this is something entirely different. Are your parents aware of the incident? Do you really have to share this information with your GC? Less is best. No one saw my D essay except the adcoms. If you decide to use this info for your college application/essay, the adcoms r not likely to report anything. The essay is taken for what it is worth. I would focus on the positive part and not emphasize the bad. But at the end of the day, you have to feel comfortable with your decision.</p>

13

<p>If you told your GC, s/he could mention it in her letter. You don’t have to talk about it at all. And I realize that it’s really difficult to talk about, but saying it out loud to anyone, even a GC could be really theraputic. But in all honesty, holy crap. Your volunteer work sounds amazing. Georgetown would be foolish to not accept you, even with those 5 Bs and 2 Cs. I mean really… if they don’t then they obviously don’t know a tone changer when they see one.</p>

14

<p>I sent you a PM.</p>

15

<p>I, too, feel that what you wrote here could easily be one of your essays -it’s very powerful.</p>

<p>However, sexual assault is when you are forced into sexual activity, often through the use of emotional or physical violence; sexual abuse can be physical, verbal and/or emotional. It is an abuse of power and often of trust.</p>

<p>As someone said, this sounds like a sexual assault, not sexual abuse. Be sure to use the proper terminology if you do write about it! If you use the term abuse, without an explanation of the event, someone may feel obligated to report.</p>

16

<p>Another thing to think about is if you want to mention it during the interview - unless things have changed since last year, all applicants are interviewed by alumni in the area. This may come up as you discuss your academic performance during the interview. </p>

<p>Not saying this would take the place of discussing it in either a regular or supplimental essay - just something to consider. Good Luck in your college search - you sould like a wonderful person.</p>

17

<p>You may want an adult who knows you write a separate letter going over your ordeal, the messiness of the divorce, family turmoil, etc. However, what I have seen with top schools like GT is that they want kids who have been able to still have stellar performance DESPITE adversity. Got cancer, and still stayed on track. You are on your way to HPY. If you bombed the year, well, that’s expected and sympathies, but we want the one who stayed on track. That’s what I have seen.</p>