<p>She really has. Stay tuned. Maybe she'll change again tomorrow.</p>
<p>:( Hang in there! You'll all get through this in one piece.</p>
<p>So is she back to her original choice now?</p>
<p>Time to hum "Simple Gifts":</p>
<p>Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,
Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain'd,
To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,</p>
<p>To turn, turn will be our delight,</p>
<p>Till by turning, turning we come round right.</p>
<p>Poor kiddo (and you too mom). Can you imagine feeling so conflicted at this point? Plus the guilt she must feel about the fact that she can't decide? Hope you all are able to get through this relatively unscathed!</p>
<p>Heron, a LOT of kids have second thoughts...and third thoughts that summer before going to college for the first time. I think some kids just get a little "scared" and question whether they made the right decision. Plus this comes at a time when a lot of their friends are leaving, etc. My guess is that it will all be ok in the end...the ride, however, may be bouncy!!</p>
<p>Yes, back to her original choice. I'm along for the ride. I've decided not to get frazzled. I'll probably have to keep that attitude throughout freshman year (wherever it turns out to be), because my guess is that we are not done with the uncertainty. </p>
<p>Factoring into her current switch: </p>
<ol>
<li><p>She can go to school 2 in the fall, but would have to notify them by tomorrow or Tuesday. That's awfully fast for the confused to get unconfused.</p></li>
<li><p>She got a single room at school one. That made a BIG difference.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>We'll see what today brings.</p>
<p>Maybe it's good that she's back to school one. Have her write out all the positives and negatives of the two schools, assign numerical values to each criterion and tally up. That is how I made my final choice b/t Wellesley and BMC at the suggestion of a friend (I was dubious); it helped a lot.</p>
<p>Oh, Heron. What can you do but laugh (or drink. Do you drink?) LOL.</p>
<p>from the movie "Airplane":</p>
<p>*Kramer : Alright, now just listen carefully . . . you should
be able to see the runway at 300 feet. Aim the
touchdown a third of the way along. There's a slight
crosswind from the right so be ready for it. Land
too fast, use your emergency breaks. The red handle's
right in front of you. If that doesn't stop you . . .
( long pause ) . . . if that doesn't stop you cut the
four ignition switches over the co-pilot's head.
Do you see us now? You should be able to see the field
now. ( Dog barks )
MCrosky : It sure is quiet out there. . .
Kramer : Yeah, too quiet.
MCrosky : Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing
glue. ( inhales some glue and falls over ) *</p>
<p>She just told me that she's not 100% sure she has changed her mind again. I kind of figured we might be revisiting this.</p>
<p>dbwes, I don't drink, but if I did I would be. </p>
<p>laxtaxi, that's about it. Now where's the glue? No, seriously, I'm pretty calm. I like the idea of the pros and cons list. Am pretty sure she has already done this mentally, but might help to have it on paper. </p>
<p>Mostly I feel so badly for her. How terrible to be so torn. Someone once told me that if you are pretty much even, 50/50 on a decision, it probably doesn't matter a whole lot which choice you pick. Either one is most likely going to be fine, and either one, you will probably have some doubts. I think this is the case here. </p>
<p>She says she will have her final choice by tomorrow. School 2 wants to know by then. I suspect I could get a few more days out of them, but not sure that would help matters.</p>
<p>OH, and to complicate matters further, her father HATES school #2, but if she chooses school #2, she will be MUCH nearer to her boyfriend. How's that for a catch-22?</p>
<p>I wouldn't recommend getting a few more days out of School 2. Imo, let a deadline be a deadline and she can decide with finality knowing that, for better or worse, doors close after the final decision.</p>
<p>Which really won't be a final decision, anyways, since the whole question can always be revisited next year if necessary. Something to look forward to. :)</p>
<p>At this point, I would make the decision for her. It appears both schools are comparable, or it wouldn't be so hard to decide. She'll be able to find happiness or unhappiness at either school. She'll have to make tougher decision than this one later on, this is not life or death. Move on and enjoy rest of the summer.</p>
<p>You might suggest she draw a line down a piece of paper and have her write the pros and cons of each school down. Sometimes seeing the lists in black and white can help solidify the decisionf for a person who is waffling over a decision. Good luck!</p>
<p>I would not recommend making the decision for her. If you make the decision, the consequences are all your fault, and you've deprived her of this very important responsibility and experience.</p>
<p>My advice: back off...tell your d. that whatever decision she makes is fine with you.... and don't say another word. Think of it this way: whatever she decides, she has a college to go to, so from your perspective as a parent, it doesn't make much difference. (I'm assuming finances are fine with you either way -- if they weren't, I doubt you would have this dilemma). </p>
<p>I think the bf issue is obviously a huge factor. She'll have to figure that one out for herself.</p>
<p>If I were the mom, I would gently urge my daughter to not use the boyfriend (which college is closer) as a deciding factor. The chances of them still dating in another one or two years is extremely small. And I say this knowing a few couples who DID stay together from high school, through college, to get married. But, from everything I've seen, the odds are against them staying together.</p>
<p>The same about the single room. It is unlikely she is guaranteed a single room each year of college? (Unless you've read that upperclassmen normally get singles - the usual norm for schools is that the person goes back into the room lotto each year.) </p>
<p>Deciding factors, whatever they are going to be, should be slightly more global than boyfriend/room assignment. At least that is what I'd be gently trying to steer my daughter toward seeing.</p>
<p>Worse case scenario - she might be able to transfer after a year. :)</p>
<p>Annika</p>
<p>I would not mention the boyfriend in the least. Your daughter probably has put more into this decision than anyone posting here, including you. Just be supportive, tell her you love her, and let her know that one way or another she'll be fine.</p>
<p>Sounds like the "decision" will be made today (though be prepared for lots of "what if" conversation after the "decision" is made). As for the "don't mention a word about..." suggestions, while in the ideal world that would be nice, it probably isn't too realistic. It's like ignoring the elephant in the living room. Of course her current BF is part of the issue, so to avoid mentioning it is, IMO, naive. You can validate her struggles ( i.e. "I am sure it makes it harder to decide when school A is closer to BF than school B, but school B gave you a single room.."). To validate that there are multiple issues at hand in her decision might make her feel better with her struggle. Since she is so ambivalent, she'll probably continue to be ambivalent even after she gives the nod to a school today. Acknowledging this may be reassuring to her. I am sure she is well aware that she may not stay with bf forever, but that being closer to him is a plus for now. The good news is, she has 2 schools she likes. This is a nice problem to have. Good luck.</p>