Short answer on common app...

<p>I'm looking to apply to some rather competetive schools (Rice, Cornell, etc..) I am trying to perfect these short essays. Thought I'd ask to see if anyone has any advice...Is the topic okay? Things to change? Completely stupid, start over? Anything and everything is welcomed. Thanks!</p>

<p>Throughout the years I have participated in Student Council, my concept of authority figures has transformed into a fuller understanding. Coming in my freshman year, I was tentative to share my thoughts with the "scary" upperclassmen sitting around the meeting table. I undermined my own opinions, figuring they would go unnoticed by my peers. However, it was not until I stepped into a role of authority in the group that I realized how wrong I had been. Leadership does not equate to manipulation, but to facilitation. In fact, it emphasizes the importance of a communal effort. Without the entire group, our projects do not get finished. The role of president is one position out of ten – no more. Although I carry some influence, it is a power to utilize for the betterment of the group, not one to abuse. Now I can look back and smile, knowing that my youthful part was not so insignificant after all.</p>

<p>Too wordy. Too much negative before you get to your point (tentative, scary, undermined, etc.) And, Stu Council, along with sports, is a very common answer. You haven’t said why it was important to you- just selling how it’s important, in general. Sorry I’m being blunt. It’s meant to be a sweet and genuine little blurb. Sometimes, it helps to write these things as if writing to an adult friend.</p>

<p>Thanks very much…exactly the kind of stuff I’m looking for…so suggesting a topic change?</p>

<p>Just pm’d you.</p>