<p>I know so many people going to the same school because of a boyfriend/girlfriend. My question: is it a bad idea? </p>
<p>I know personally, even though I love my boyfriend more than anything, I value education and won't lose that. What does everyone else think?</p>
<p>It depends upon the factors in the relationship, situation. I know couples who did choose to go to the same schools, and it was the right decisions. And those where it was not And those who chose not to and it was the right decison. And, again, some cases where it was not. A lot of luck, fate, chance involved. You make the decision at the time, weighing all relevant factors, and then make the best of what you decide, and hope it works out well. Not much else you can do, regardless of what you choose.</p>
<p>No it shouldn’t effect where you go to school (because most young relationships end sooner or later/don’t become a true long term life partner) but it often does. </p>
<p>That said, as cp says above, things tend to work out fine anyway (you go on to graduate from the school you chose for “him” and get a job and life goes on).</p>
<p>Assume the relationship fails. (You’re young, so it probably will.) How much will you have sacrificed?</p>
<p>As I said, I’ve seen it work out and fail every which way. You make the best decision you can at the time, and try to make work. </p>
<p>I know a woman who did transfer due to her graduating finacee getting a job at a college. In their case, with a marriage commitment coming up, it did seem to make sense for her to do so. She gave up a year of college making the transfer as there was a 2 year residence requirement for graduation in the new school, but she did not want to be apart from her fiancee for that one year. </p>
<p>Well, the relationship did not work out, while she was midstream there. She took a deep breath, and decided to continue at the new school despite a number of disadvantages in doing this. Neither choice had any striking overall advantage, at that point, so she just decided to stay in part, because she had no energy left to transfer back, and she did have parental support to finish up where she was. </p>
<p>Now nearly 40 years later, it’s just another thing in life, hardly a blip. She got her degree, found a job and a career, met other loves, married and had kids, and is an older woman just like I am. She’s a dear friend of mine, and an advantage of her decisions is that I got to meet her and we’ve been friends all of these years and went to our reunion together. Her ex fiancee? She hasn’t seen him in 40 years, as he worked at our college for a year and then moved elsewhere and she never tracked him thereafter. I don’t even know his name–she’s never really given his full hame to me that I can recall.</p>
<p>I think it depends on the situation. If your significant other decides to go to a school you yourself like, then it shouldn’t be that much of a problem.
Like with me. My boyfriend graduated last year and is currently attending The Ohio State University, a school that I am in love with. The more I find out about the school from him, the more I love it. However, even though I’ve always liked this school, everyone is still saying I’m planning on going there because he did and advising against it be cause I’ll “get hurt”. Here’s the thing though: I won’t.
If you go to a school you love with a lot of things you want to be involved in, breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend won’t be a huge deal, even if you’re at the same school. You’re still enjoying where you are because YOU love that school, you didn’t just settle on it for him.</p>
<p>I don’t think this issue is black and white so there is not a definitive answer. I have seen high school relationships last past colleges and others that don’t. So… maybe… maybe not.</p>
<p>I’ll come right out and say that I think it’s a bad idea to choose a college on the basis of whether a girlfriend/boyfriend goes there. There’s a time to give up work or educational opportunities for committed relationships/family obligations (life is full of trade-offs), but right after high school is not that time.</p>
<p>You have many relationships. You will have many many more. Why would this relationship matter more than any other? Do you believe there’s only one love in the world for you? Guess again. Nature hasn’t made you or your lover that way. So go out and live your life. Have a life. No relationship is irreplaceable, but your one chance at a life is irreplaceable. Give it to someone else with the greatest caution, and only after learning how replaceable he or she is.</p>
<p>Plenty of relationships endure temporary separation due to college, graduate/professional school, professional residency, etc…</p>
<p>Question: Should a relationship affect where you go to school?</p>
<p>Answer: Yes. You should go as far away as possible from where your boyfriend/girlfriend is going.</p>
<p>My daughter has been in a relationship for over a year now and I’d say they are becoming quite serious. He’s a great kid and I really like him. However, my daughter maintains that right now their educations come first, and they have each conducted their college searches based on their individual goals. It’s looking like they will end up across the country from one another next year. I’m sure they find this very sad and difficult as they are great friends, too, but her view is that if they are meant to be together they will find their way back to one another in time.</p>
<p>I’m not sure I would have been able to make such a mature decision myself at 18, and this may not be the right choice for everyone, but I’m proud if them both.</p>
<p>you are young… go out and see what is out there. the relationship with a BF or GF of high school will likely fizzle out and you will have changed your plans to accommodate something that very well maybe over sooner then later. we all have our first crush which is probably not the true person you are destined to be with. this story has played out millions of times in history. it is not about putting your “education” first it is about putting yourself and your future first. if it is meant to be after 4 years of college you can get back together.</p>
<p>Holy hell that is a terrible idea.</p>
<p>I can’t even begin to tell you how many crazy breakups there are over the first few weeks of school, let alone the first year.</p>
<p>I think as long as it’s not the ONLY reason behind a certain school, then I would say it doesn’t matter.</p>
<p>No. That is absolutely terrible advice. Have you ever made a decision while high on teenage hormones? I have in times past. They were rarely good ones. Fun ones, yes, but good ones… probably not.</p>
<p>Story time.</p>
<p>My old APUSH teacher had a student who was offered a full-ride to Duke for soccer, but turned it down to go to Eastern Michigan University because his girlfriend was going there.</p>
<p>She dumped him a week after classes started.</p>
<p>SO: don’t learn this lesson the hard way.</p>
<p>It depends on how long you’ve known each other/strength of the relationship.</p>
<p>I was accepted and prepared to go to the University of Evansville as a physics major because my girlfriend goes to school there (she’s like 3000 miles away). That was until I got accepted to my current school. I saved around $30K by going to a state school instead of hers and around $20K by not attending a UC. It was purely a financial decision. I wanted to go there very badly, but I only got around $13,000 in scholarships. Taking out the max amount of loans did not cover the cost of tuition either. I had been going to community college for three years to transfer there because the plan was to be together. Didn’t work out that way 'cause of the cost, but we’re applying to graduate schools. We have our own sets of graduate schools to apply to, but we’re applying to 3 of the same ones - her top ones- together. Note: Been together coming on 6 years. We started dating while she was still in high school. We’ve been apart for nearly six years and only travel around twice a year to see each other. It is rough, but we’re hoping that will come to an end by getting into some graduate programs at the same schools. The distance was hard to endure in the beginning, but we’re almost to the finish line (supposedly).</p>
<p>We’ve made it work.</p>
<p>It depends on your goals and the opportunity costs of choosing one college over another. While young people rarely stay with their early relationships, some are worthwhile and do last. </p>
<p>However, if you are admitted to a great university and must give that up to be with a partner at a sub-optimal one, I would recommend choosing the best possible univ. Besides, if it is meant to last, you can be separated for a time and even date others. In general, a relationship at your age should open possibilities, not close them - that comes later, when you are on a life course that is more defined.</p>
<p>If the relationship is the primary reason for attending the college, I would have to say that its usually a bad idea. Half the relationships in high school seem to exist for the wrong reasons anyway (like social status) and don’t last.</p>
<p>However, if a couple is truly committed or is engaged, etc., then its probably okay to attend the same college, especially if one person (or both) does not have a strong feeling for what college the want to attend.</p>