<p>Accept for a ery few schools ( the Ivys, top LA colleges, specialty schools) there are only a few criteria to choose where to attend. If it has a program you like, is financially equivalent to the other schools. Most large universities will have any major you need so it really does not mater if it costs the same.</p>
<p>Thant said make the decision based on education the rest will work (or not) as it was supposed to)</p>
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<p>Only if you make sure you’re both going to different schools.</p>
<p>Going off to college with a high school sweetheart is not only a recipe for disaster, but it will surely limit your college experience. </p>
<p>All believe it will work out when they go into it. Occasionally a few do, but it’s not common. Most regret it.</p>
<p>Like a couple other people have said, there’s not one solid answer for this question. It really depends on the situation you’re in. Turning down a full-ride to a university to be with your significant other is just plain dumb, but if you like the university that your SO is going to, where is the issue in that? Sure, a lot of high school relationships end up not working out, but if you’re not giving up a school that you love or giving up your dreams, future, etc. I do not see a problem with going off to college with your high school sweetheart. If it isn’t meant to be, then you guys will break up and move on. Though I am not personally in this situation as a high school senior, I think that the whole thing is a learning experience. If it doesn’t work out and everything is a disaster, then at least you learned from it instead of wondering for the rest of your life what could have been if you went to college with your boyfriend.</p>
<p>One should ask themselves the question: How would I feel about going to college with my EX-girlfriend or boyfriend? If you love the school for the school and you feel it wouldn’t be awkward then go for it. If you would spend most of your time hiding or stalking and it wouldn’t be a school you’d be inclined to go to if there were no paramour then I’d avoid like the plague.</p>
<p>I am a parent. My general advice is not to base the selection of a college AT ALL on a relationship. Here’s reason #1: Teenage relationships can and do end. And if you’ve chosen a school mostly because your now ex-girl/boyfriend goes there, then that school will probably start to suck for you.</p>
<p>It’s hard to know what a person is like when they don’t have to live independently.</p>
<p>Our family has two case studies in this area and it really comes down to you and your relationship. My kid and his high school sweetheart are still going strong after 5 years and they go to different schools. It is not easy, but manageable. They are getting very independent experiences with very different majors. At least they are in the same state but over 3 hours apart by car. For them it seems to work, but there are lonely times for sure. Last year, they did a trade show together in the summer and spend as much time together during breaks a possible. </p>
<p>My nephew on the other hand, lives with his high school sweetheart and goes to the same school. Everyone around them consider them a “married couple” but of course they are too young for that and have not graduated yet. They see each other all day everyday and I believe that they took some GE’s together. Seems to be working out extremely well. But, I know that there is lack of “alone” time for them. She will go for a work study abroad in Africa and he will do an internship out of state. So, there will be independent time apart.</p>
<p>Bottom line, it depends on you and your relationship.</p>
<p>If this current boy/girlfriend is <em>not</em> going to end up to be your long term partner:
Then it is not good to choose the same school as them as inevitably one of you is more intelligent than the other or wants a different major or area of the country or big or smallness to school, etc.</p>
<p>If this current boy/girlfriend is going to end up to be your long term partner:
Then you should still pick out your own schools and then see each other over breaks and what not.</p>
<p>Personal examples:</p>
<p>My SIL transferred from Catholic U to SUNY Buffalo because her BF was there. They broke up. She graduated, but I don’t think that was her ideal situation, although Buffalo was an in-state school for her.</p>
<p>One of my DDs friend from international school got in Oxford/Cambridge. He was the smartest in their class. But he went to his girlfriend at the time’s less competitive university. They broke up.</p>
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<p>Sorry, but no such thing. It may feel that way at 17 o 18, but you’ll learn. Just wait. Take it from someone who got married during graduate school, divorced 8 years later, remarried and had 3 kids, divorced again 9 years later, and now remarried for the 3rd (and last) time. There are exceptions to every rule, but the advice I give my 3 daughters (4 counting my step-D) is this: don’t get married until age 30!</p>
<p>Should a relationship affect where you go to school? - No it shouldn’t. Go to a good college, have a new and better relationship. It could be with the HS boyfriend, but very likely, with a different person. </p>
<p>DGDzDad, you can say but they may not listen. 
Most young people have to find it out themselves. They will pay for not listening but c’est la vie. Smart ones listen and learn from the mistakes of others. the less smart ones learn from their own mistakes. Then there are those who never learn.</p>
<p>Choosing a college is a big choice. The next 4 years of life will be conducted in that place and it should set one up for an enjoyable career. I went though this last year. I got into my dream school and though the financials aren’t great I got to go. The program is fantastic and it will get me exactly where I want to be. My boyfriend applied to this school as well because it also had a great program for him. His dad said he was only applying because of me and he couldn’t convince him otherwise. He was rejected. We applied to one other school in common and then different schools that were near each other. He ended up going to that other school which is about an hour and a half away from mine. I contemplated going there, it had an okay program, but I knew that wouldn’t be right for me. We’re still together and will be celebrating our 4 year anniversary soon. He hates his school and is attempting to transfer to mine. He shadowed a class at my school and felt it was a better fit. This is the place that is the best for both of our careers individually. That should be the deciding factor. Even though we’ve been together for a long time who knows if we will be by the time college ends. What I do know is that I’ll have a degree in something I enjoy and can do something with and hopefully so will he.</p>
<p>College is for experiencing new things and getting to know new people. Its an important part in your life academically but also socially. Boyfriends/girlfriends in college end up being the ones who miss out on everything fun. You are not in college forever, so live it up while you can!</p>
<p>My advice is to prioritize for the sake of the education and the best college experience possible. You should not let a teen romance, no matter how grand or potentially serious it may seem to be, stand in the way of what should be the best 4 years of your life. And any relationship that is meant to be… or that would be destined to stand the test of time… will also survive a long distance scenario. At the end of my senior year in college, I was named a finalist for the Rhodes Scholarship, which meant that I would then have a one in three chance of being named a Scholar. But I was in a serious relationship and chose to withdraw as a nominee altogether versus continuing with the key interviews, etc. Three months later, that relationship ended. I have no idea if I would have eventually been named a Rhodes Scholar or not, but now I will never know. I made a very poor decision. So do yourself a favor and pick the very best college scenario for you alone… and let the relationship flourish or fade away as time and distance may dictate. The right partner in any relationship will advise that you do the very same thing. They will want what is best for you. And then if the relationship lasts, there will be no hidden resentments, and you will have not let any great opportunities pass you by. Good Luck to all of this years college applicants…</p>
<p>^^^that’s for real, WWWard. A cautionary tale of hard-earned wisdom. Thanks for sharing.</p>
<p>*Going off to college with a high school sweetheart is not only a recipe for disaster, but it will surely limit your college experience. *</p>
<p>Jeez, I agree with the general advice that a relationship shouldn’t be the only deciding factor in choosing a college, but some of you are making it sound like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will ride if someone chooses to go his high school sweetheart’s college at least partially because of the sweetheart.</p>
<p>Fact: Most high school romances don’t last, and you should choose on your own where you go to college based on your own desires and wants and needs. I would advise any high school student who asked me to do that.</p>
<p>Fact: Your choice of college is very unlikely to “ruin your life”, “be a disaster”, end your life, doom your chances, etc. Most college students end up pretty happy wherever they do go, and college is largely what you make it. I would imagine that most kids who mistakenly follow their high school sweetheart to college and break up with them end up having a good time anyway, graduate and move on with their lives.</p>
<p>Fact #3 (and this is less advice for the 17-year-old contemplating college, and more advice for making decisions in general): You can only make decisions now based upon what you know now, and what you think the best thing for you is. People are very bad at predicting how they are going to feel in the future. Hindsight is always 20/20. At the beginning of my own senior year in college, I considered applying for a Fulbright Scholarship to teach abroad - teaching abroad had always been my dream. But I was also in a serious relationship, and I didn’t want to leave my boyfriend behind for a long time, so I chose to apply to grad school at home instead and go straight through. We ended up getting married a few years later, in part because of the relationship we were able to strengthen because I stayed here in the States. Does our marriage mean I made the right decision? Not anymore than WWWard made the “wrong” decision when s/he decided to withdraw from the Rhodes. Maybe our relationship would’ve stayed just as strong if I had gone away, who knows?</p>
<p>You can’t predict what will happen; you have to make decisions for what you think is best right then and then don’t lament the past or what could’ve been.</p>
<p>I also think it’s untrue that you should just make whatever decision you want and let the relationship live or die on that. Relationships are work, and at a certain point, you’re going to have to decide what you’re willing to give up for it (although what you need to do will vary based upon the relationship and the people in it). But…that also is not advice I would give to a 17 year old. It’s more just a general thought.</p>
<p>So yeah, some of those kids may be making a mistake. So what? Being 18 is about making mistakes, and it’s unlikely that they will ruin their lives by going to a different college.</p>
<p>I think it’s a horrible idea. I’m a senior and I know people who are doing this. Rarely do high school relationships result in marriage these days, and if you break up while at this college, and if you have the same group of friends there, you will probably feel awkward. It just isn’t worth giving up what you want for someone else.</p>
<p>Go to the school of your choice. But keep in mind that some relationships that start in HS actually blossom into long happy marriages. I did not marry the girl I dated in HS and we broke up prior to graduation. But, I did marry my next girlfriend that I met in college at age 21. That was over 30 years ago. Same with my sister, same with my parents and same with my in laws, etc. For some reason, our families meet our spouses quite young and stay together for life. Look at your family history and that may determine some basis for making a decision.</p>
<p>Having said that, in the early years of my relationship, I was separated from my then girlfriend (now wife) for months at a time and twice for just over a year as we lived in different countries. There were also times when we lived in the same country but in different cities as well due to work or school. In the first 6 years of our relationship we were separated for about half that time. Back in the 1980’s when we were first going out, there was no internet and I was often in far flung places like the mountains in Nepal or on an island in the Gulf of Thailand with no mail or telephone access. So, there were times when we had zero communication for up to 3 months at a time. But, we made it work.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s clear cut and should be decided on a case by case basis.</p>
<p>But I did want to say, as far as relationships in general go, I couldn’t disagree more with every single thing written here, especially the “No relationship is irreplaceable”:</p>
<p>"You have many relationships. You will have many many more. Why would this relationship matter more than any other? Do you believe there’s only one love in the world for you? Guess again. Nature hasn’t made you or your lover that way. So go out and live your life. Have a life. No relationship is irreplaceable, but your one chance at a life is irreplaceable. Give it to someone else with the greatest caution, and only after learning how replaceable he or she is. "</p>
<p>In the academic world, we consider it a big plus that you went to the trouble to read and cite my ideas. Thank you for taking them seriously, even though we disagree.</p>
<p>There are many excellent reasons for choosing a college. There is only one genuinely bad reason to choose a college: basing your choice on where your high school boyfriend/girlfriend is attending. </p>
<p>If you both end up at the same school because it’s the perfect school for each individual (course of study, cost, etc), that’s different. But choosing a school simply so you can be near your high school paramour is short sighted, to say the least.</p>