<p>umdclassof 80, I agree with TV4caster. My priorities for my kids are different given who they are. Moreover, not all priorities have to be handled in the same year.</p>
<p>ShawSon is goal-oriented and driven. His priority (and ours) for freshman year was ensuring that he knew how to do well in college. While he is truly gifted, he has significant learning disabilities and had medical issues and so at each stage (and in each year), there is more uncertainty about how he will do than for many kids. The good news: he figured out how to perform well academically. He asked me after freshman year, “Shawbridge, I know what grades were for in high school. What are they for in college? I can get an A- in every course but there is a quantum of work needed to get an A or A+ and I want to know what I’m trying to accomplish.” With this kid, academics are always a priority (because they are a proxy for success and because his self-narrative is about overcoming adversity). So, we wanted to make sure he had a social life. His second year, he loosened up a bit, went to a few parties, played intramural sports (I suggested he play intramural basketball because he’s tall), made good friends, and found a girlfriend. The tradeoff, a few A-s. This year, he’s continuing all the activities but with all As thus far (despite taking significantly harder courses). He’s made opportunities for himself with his academic record that he wouldn’t have had without it and the next stage is figuring out what kind of life he wants to lead. </p>
<p>His sister has social skills out the wazoo. She can get the shyest boy, who never speaks, to talk. For her, self-discovery came first semester freshman year when she said, “I’m not that academic and I don’t want to spend four years in lab learning biology and biochemistry only to sentence myself to a job working in a lab. I want to work with people.” So, she transferred to nursing after her first semester freshman year. She’s now in her second semester and already happier and less anxious (she’s not competing with pre-meds for grades for the most part). For her, our priorities are academic (do well enough to get admitted to the advanced practice nursing masters) and to do so without being that anxious. She’ll take care of social life.</p>
<p>In neither case would I have made career prep a key priority, though I encouraged my son to take a math/stats course every semester to keep career options open. This was not a big stretch as they provided tools for the subjects in which he’s most interested. My daughter clearly was thinking about her career and life without any encouragement from us.</p>