<p>The admissions office is where the file is and where they are keeping track. My guess is that an administrative assistant handles the mail, so you may or may not address it to a person.</p>
<p>this is probably frowned upon, but I helped draft the thanks but no thanks letters for our son, since he is a conflict avoider as well and feels “bad” as he says for not “accepting” most of his offers. I was able to show him how to write the notes that would thank individuals that gave hm extra time and attention and made time for him to audition or to speak to him about their program and to also address the reasons he chose the school he chose (not the reasons why he did not choose their school) In going through this exercise, he began to feel better about having made the choice he made and not <em>as</em> bad about refusing the others - some of which gave him excellent awards.
It may be too helicopterish for some of you, but I see no reason not to help write the notes in this case
These notes will likely go into their files there at the school, and we were told by several of his schools that they keep the file for 2 years and encourage applicants to reapply if they find they are not a fit at the school they chose. Having a nice decline letter thanking everyone by name (if you had personal contact) would be an asset to the file, as well as being something tangible for the admissions folks to use with regard to knowing why someone chose elsewhere</p>
<p>So, would it be okay if I just sent an e-mail to all my acceptances and wait-lists saying that I will not be attending? Should I mention the school I’m going to, or is that too pretentious?</p>
<p>I think most of them would like to know where you decided to go, but it is up to you if you want to tell them</p>
<p>I took theorymom’s tac and helped draft an email to the Dean/Director of Admissions and Financial Aid and to her interviewers and regional recruiters who stayed in touch with her. She will send one to each of the runnerup colleges on Monday. </p>
<p>Thanks to all of you for great advice.</p>
<p>Plainsman is right – common courtesy would encourage some sort of email, card or phone call… but if they don’t hear back from the student by the end of the first week in May, they will assume the student isn’t coming. So no harm is done when the student doesn’t reply – but it will help them predict yield somewhat better if they do get replies.</p>
<p>I agree with oldfort and sally; not only is it just plain good manners, it helps the school to predict its yeild and you don’t want your child to burn any bridges that she may have to cross over later. Most schools will hold a student application on file for 2 years and you never know if your D may want to transfer to one of the schools that previously accepted her.</p>
<p>In addition, learning how to write the letters now will help her to be able to write her own letters when you are not there for research opportunities, internships, job offers, rec letters for grad/professional schools, etc.</p>
<p>Definitely good to reply. IIRC, most schools included a card in the “acceptance package” to let them know of your plans, even if you decided not to attend.</p>
<p>I ended up not taking a fairly large scholarship from one of the schools at which I was accepted (now that I see what the economy’s turned into, maybe that wasn’t such a smart move…) but I’m pretty sure that I either called or wrote them a nice letter explaining why I wasn’t taking the scholarship.</p>
<p>It’s important that you daughter learn to politely decline offers now, as she will most likely have to repeat the process for other things, such as job offers, in the future. A simple email or typed letter to each school that she is not attending would be perfectly appropriate.</p>
<p>A typed letter is probably way more than needed. Email is fine. Huge colleges might not get the message, but that can be a source of family jokes. "Gee, I told Ginormous University that I wasn’t coming in April, but they kept sending me stuff clear through September. Why hadn’t I returned my medical forms? "
It’s good manners, good practice, and who knows - they might offer to keep the file for next year and your DD may change her mind…</p>
<p>If it is a smaller school i do think that a personal letter is a good thing and will go into your file and show your gratitude. Email is fine if you are 100% sure you will never contact that school again.</p>
<p>“But once May 2nd arrives don’t all colleges simply assume you’re not coming?”</p>
<p>For all they know, your reply got lost in the mail or the student never got their acceptance. Also, due to mail delays and the fact that some students are replying from abroad, it may be mid May when some acceptance replies arrive at colleges.</p>
<p>The sooner, however, colleges know who’s coming, the sooner they can turn to the waitlist or let waitlisted students know that the college won’t be turning to the waitlist.</p>
<p>It really is simply courtesy to reply.</p>
<p>Think about it: Suppose the colleges didn’t bother to send rejections to rejected students. After all, using your logic, colleges could assume that students who didn’t hear would simply assume that they had been rejected. Is that how your student would have reacted?</p>
<p>
I used email for all of my communications, even declining admissions. Is this a faux pas? I thought we lived in the digital age :P</p>
<p>S1 sent all of his letters via email. If the school wants to put the letter in your file, the adcom can print it out.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, all of our info stated that responses needed to be POSTMARKED by May 1, so as others have indicated, depending on mail services, it could be signifigantly later than May 2 when the schools can account for each enrollment space.</p>
<p>This seems like a lot of bru-ha-ha to me. If the student had an on-going relationship with an adcom at a small LAC and decided not to attend, a short note or email might be nice. To larger institutions, or those with a huge applicant pool, I wouldn’t waste the time. I am not doubting the sincerity or even the “politeness” value of the note. I just don’t think most of them care.</p>
<p>I did let all schools know.</p>
<p>But my younger brother said, “They’ll figure it out” and never let other schools know. I wanted to scream at him right there, “SO WHAT?! HAVE THE COMMON COURTESY SO YOU DON"T LEAVE THEM HANGING!!! AND THERE ARE KIDS ON THE WAITLIST!” My parents said, “Let him learn his own lessons.”</p>
<p>Sheesh. Absolutely. Just for the sake of kids on the waitlists.</p>
<p>Didn’t any of your students get a reply card with the acceptance package?</p>
<p>My S sent the reply card, checking off the “No, I will not attend” and added a short note of either appreciation or “thanks.” For two colleges he will send an email to a regional counselor who had spent extra time with him in the application stage, just to let him know how much he liked the college (but alas, wasn’t the best fit right now).</p>
<p>Also, because my S will be taking a gap year, we have asked a couple of public colleges to retain his application for a year (just in case the economy really tanks AND we are hit by a meteor).</p>
<p>agreed. RESPOND by email with a short polite letter of “thanks but no thanks, I am going to X school.” They keep that sort of stuff in their files.</p>
<p>Dd only applied to four schools. She is planning on notifying the three she will not be going to of her decision. I know with one, they specifically asked for a reponse, yes or no, on the merit award.</p>