<p>I have a friend who thinks I'm arrogant, annoying, and so awkward I won't get any jobs. We also have a lot of arguments over things (things like "am I insecure about my intelligence" or "should my friend and my other friend break up") because she thinks she knows more about my life than I do. She says she's learned a lot in college and is lashing out against everything she valued in high school (including, apparently, us?) We've been friends for a while and I do value her, so I'm willing to wait it out for a while if she's going through some sort of phase. But it's getting annoying and I fear that she will stay this way forever.</p>
<p>Hello .</p>
<p>Hi InquisitiveOne.</p>
<p>She might just be going through an arrogant phase. Wait it out, and if her behavior doesn’t change then you should let your friendship go. If she makes you feel bad about yourself, then she’s not a friend.</p>
<p>^^I’m not positive, but I think that is a fail.</p>
<p>Are you sure that you’re friends?</p>
<p>She sounds like toxic sludge. How can you be both truly arrogant and insecure about your intelligence? They are mutually exclusive.</p>
<p>Nope.</p>
<p>Unless her behavior changes quickly.</p>
<p>Here’s my advice.</p>
<p>Try to be understanding and try to make the friendship work.</p>
<p>But if it becomes obvious that the friendship is moribund, don’t spend any effort trying to mend something that is unmendable. If she doesn’t show much interest in a friendship with you, don’t try to change her mind; it will be a lost cause. </p>
<p>Don’t try to please everybody. People will misunderstand you and misjudge you, but don’t try to convince close minded people. Huge waste of time. </p>
<p>One of my biggest mistakes in high school was spending so much time trying to repair friendships that wouldn’t work out.</p>
<p>I’ve lost a couple of best friends. It hurts, but I just accepted it and moved on.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that people are replaceable. You may lose a very close friend, but you can develop 10 friendships which can potentially be twice as strong as that one was, if you go out and meet new people.</p>
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<p>I disagree. I’ve found the most insecure people I know are also the most arrogant, and vice versa. They have to cover their insecurities in a way that makes them seem strong and in power, so they choose arrogance.</p>
<p>Definitely sounds like a phase. She’s probably in a phase of rejecting everything in the past, taking it to a extreme. Tell her you’ll consider her advice, but don’t take it too close to heart. Use it as fuel to prove her wrong. </p>
<p>And I also feel that if she were a real friend she’d try to offer some way to change instead of just criticize. She might just be angry at the world atm.</p>
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<p>Then I would say that the arrogance is a facade and not true arrogance – that is why I added the qualifier, but I should have made that clearer.</p>
<p>If you consider this person a friend, chances are that you don’t have many friends. I would suggest defriending her. <= is this even possible?</p>
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Since when was arrogance not a facade?</p>
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<p>Are you kidding? When one’s perception of one’s self is greater than the real state thereof, and when this discrepancy manifests itself.</p>
<p>So I asked her if she felt disdain for me, and she said she didn’t, she’d just developed a condescending way of speaking. I guess that’s a good thing? She also said I was sheltered.</p>
<p>“A condescending way of speaking”</p>
<p>Sounds like she needs some decent maturing time if she thinks that’s an appropriate way to speak to others, especially her friends.</p>