What about Penn State is more appealing than Rutgers?
They’re both huge schools. They’re both party schools. They’re both similarly ranked (a few spots don’t really make a difference). They’re both in small towns, with Rutgers being like two hours or less away from NYC.
They’re both well-known state flagships. Maybe you just haven’t researched Rutgers enough. Being from NJ, I suspect the reason you don’t want to go to your state’s schools is that many of your classmates are probably going as well. But you can totally avoid them since Rutgers is really big, and going to another state flagship where many people are from the area and know each other isn’t really going to be much different either.