Should I include my abuse story in my essay? Will it impact my legacy status?

College Essays
1

Sorry this is vague, I am just afraid of people connecting this to me.

I’m trying to gain admission to x college, an Ivy League school. One parent is an alumnus of x college, multiple degrees, and is quite active as an alumnus in terms of donations and fundraising, sits on lower level fundraising boards.

Yet simultaneously our family life is a mess. For the past ~5 years, I’ve been a victim of sibling abuse. A sibling has repeatedly physically abused me during this period on a weekly basis. It has contributed to my sadness, self harm, eating issues, anxiety, and lack of confidence.

The parent who is a college x alumnus denies the existence of the abuse, and refuses to address it. Despite this I still want to use this parents position to gain acceptance to college x.

I want to write about this in my essay, and how it has inspired me to use my voice/ find my voice through art and activism. DO YOU think that writing about this in my essay would damage my legacy status at college x? I’m not going to specifically mention that alumni parent enables this abuse to continue, but would mentioning sibling abuse within the context of an alumni family make college x admissions view my legacy status unfavorably? My concern is that i perceive legacy status to be attached to family reputation, and in opening up about abuse within the context of my family (sibling abuse) it will make alumnus parent less desirable to the college x, and college x won’t value this family connection. Do you get my point? Please inform me if I didn’t explain this well enough.

Should I write about this abuse as a part (less than a quarter of my essay, and describe how it has pushed me to find my voice? It would shift from the abuse story to how it has pushed me to find my voice as an artist/debater/activist? I think it could be powerful, do u agree?

Outside of the essay (again sorry if I’m being vague)
Gpa: 98%
Sat: 1420
Various academic, extracurricular, art awards,
debate captain and debate award winner on state/national level,
MUN captain, various awards
Involvement in activism as well, part of an organization for equal rights regardless of gender, race, LGBT, etc.

Please be honest, and I’d be happy to answer questions

2

I would not write about the abuse for the essay. Find another topic that really showcases why you will be a good fit for that school. Writing about activism is good.

3

I agree with @CheddarcheeseMN - nothing to be gained by writing about the abuse.

4

@LoveTheBard @CheddarcheeseMN
Thank you for your responses, my remaining issue is that I feel like my academic and extracurricular accomplishments have a little more weight considering I received them while being physically abused on a daily/weekly basis. Should I include that somehow? Would including it possible negate any positive impact of my legacy status?

5

There is little to be gained and much to be lost in writing about physical or sexual abuse. The admissions people reading your application are not your therapist. It will not make your accomplishments more impressive, and you run the risk of having it tank your application. Find something else to write about.

6

Agree with the above. Even though you endured a lot the colleges can see you as being a troubled person that with the extra stress of ivy league education, you might not be able to be success in their program. Can you go to a relative or teacher or social worker at school for help?

7

@electricroses101

Below is advice from “Bad College Essays: 10 Mistakes You Must Avoid.” Goggle the title to read the entire blog.

8

The issue is, being abused, challenged in some way, or unheard, etc, are not what gets you into a tippy top college. It’s how you triumphed, despite, and then some real good you did. And they don’t just look at good grades and assume. This needs to show, in actions and involvement. Nor is it about just saying you care.

You tell us you’re “inspired” to use your voice through art and activism. But how have you? Do you have any impact? Or you draw as a hobby and only take shy steps, if any, at helping others?

Lots of kids claim some experience changed them, made them more compassionate or aware, and then nothing shows what the colleges want to see: how you actually turn lemons into lemonade.

So that’s the first set of questions. If you did turn this around, the abuse is nothing more than a line. It doesn’t need to explain your details at all. Just that events made you aware of the need and you took real action to improve things for others. Can you show that?

Try to understand what top colleges value.