<p>I am starting my college essay for next year in my AP english class, and need some advice on what to include and what to omit. Dealing with my mothers alcoholism, and overcoming my own OCD have helped shape me into the man I am today. I would like to write about these topics but do not want to submit a "Sob" story. Please help me determine if adding these events is a good move or not.</p>
<p>thanks in advance</p>
<p>so you have alcoholism and OCD as your subjects explained so far. well what else are you putting in your essay?</p>
<p>personal essays are always a winner. just make sure you do not write in such a way that makes it seem you want pitty for your challenges. write formally and professionally.</p>
<p>First, congrats on your school for helping you get to work on your essays now. If you continue to work on them through the summer your Fall will seem less like crunch time. </p>
<p>To answer your question, I think it depends on your situation. Admissions officers get a ton of essays from kids overcoming some sort of adversity. One admissions officer shared with a group of candidateds that they can select so many candidates that have overcome adversity AND still got A’s, that they needn’t care much about those that overcome adversity and got B’s. If you are the latter, you may want to think long and hard whether this puts your best foot forward versus a personal essay that instead says to the admissions dude, ‘dang I want this guy at my school.’ </p>
<p>The overcoming a difficult challenge essay is fraught with danger as you want it to be primarily about YOU versus your family. Sharing your mom’s problems has to transition effectively to you. The other key problem with a personal situation is the difference between ‘sharing versus telling.’ If you want to make your essay rather worthless tell someone about your experience rather than sharing the experience. The reader needs to ‘taste it’ for lack of better words. It needs to resonate with them. They need to be there. </p>
<p>Let me share more, excuse me if I put too fine a point on this. Telling someone about how many times your mom disappointed you or the embarrassment you felt … how OCD affected your self-worth … will be a essay that does not impress. Conversely, sharing a ‘family meal’ with reheated food that had already been reheated, how when anyone would have thought you made eye contact with your mom, the truth could not have been more different, how your younger brother poked his fork at a piece of dried food on his Sponge Bob plastic table mat … these help the reader share the experience and give your essay a chance of strongly resonating with them. </p>
<p>The last danger of the adversity essay is the transition to what the experience has meant to you as a person. Beware of the ‘looking adversity in the eye was not easy for me but it has given me confidence that nothing can stand in my way’ sort of takeway. These are a dime a dozen at every college so they will not stand out. However, something like ‘my uncle always says “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I have my doubts. Does hardship define you or is it only part of the journey?’ … (Now the reader is on your journey versus the journey of so many other essays.</p>
<p>Hope that helps. Good luck!</p>