Should I keep my full ride scholarship at a school I dislike or transfer to my dream school?

College Search & Selection
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Hey! Im in a bit of a problem… so I applied for college last fall and I was accepted into my top schools, UCLA and USC, but I also received a full ride scholarship to a fairly large in-state school, VCU. When I was picking schools I was conflicted between UCLA and VCU since UCLA was my absolute dream school but since I was pre-med and I would have to eventually pay for medical school, I listened to my parents and chose the full ride.

Now that I’m here, I feel extremely depressed and I dread coming back to campus every time I visit home. I’ve tried to give VCU a chance, but I feel like I would be so so much happier at UCLA or USC and I just don’t feel like I fit in at VCU. I find myself constantly thinking about transferring but im so scared because of the money and moving across the country even though I know its is my dream.

I think the only reason why I picked VCU was because of the money and I am so grateful to be receiving a tuition-refund check every semester to attend VCU along with a single dorm and single bathroom within their honors college and everyone I talk to, including my friends and parents (who didn’t have the chance to go to a 4-year college) tells me I am in a very very lucky position to be getting paid to go to college, which I am extremely grateful for, however deep down inside I feel extremely sad about everything and my life and I cannot pinpoint what it is that I dislike so much. I know my parents and friends would be disappointed (or at least sad) that I gave up the full ride, but honestly I felt pressured from the start to pick VCU from everyone that it never really felt like my choice. It was just something that everyone told me was the smartest idea so I listened.

My parents have saved up $120k for me to use on my bachelors/medical degree and if I attend VCU I can put that money towards medicine (and save the tuition refund check), but if I transferred to UCLA I would be losing the $120k and have to pay for med school myself. USC I would take out a $40k loan and paying for med school. Another possibility would be to stay at VCU and save the $2-$5k per semester money from the tuition refund to move to California or something after 2 years.

btw I am a freshman but I came into college with 50ish credits so I am technically junior-standing at the end of this semester so I would only be attending USC/UCLA for 2 years if I decide to transfer.

So what is your advice?

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What if you thought about what else you could look forward to, like studying abroad? Go check out the offerings at your study abroad office. You could go somewhere fun for a month in May or June and plan where you’d go for a semester as well.

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UCLA gives no OOS financial aid. Assuming you can transfer next year, it’s about 65-70K each year. Your parents’ savings will run out after your second year there. You cannot take out large loans by yourself without your parents cosigning.

No guarantee how many of those transfer credits UCLA will accept. You probably got a lot dual enrollment credits in state. So you could conceivably finish early at VCU? Correct? Or use the extra time/money to either do volunteering or take a semester to do study abroad related to medicine etc.? Then you would be in a very enviable position when you start medical school . The medical career is a long game - California will still be there once you graduate. And better to live in CA when you have actually real $$$.

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It’s virtually impossible to overstate the drag debt has on wealth building for retirement. My wife and I are both optometrists. Our son is an engineer. Because he graduated debt free and thus started funding his retirement starting while in undergrad, he’ll retire with twice the money we have and have the opportunity to retire earlier.

If you dislike VCU, you need a solid handle on why that is. There is a significant possibility that funk will follow you to Los Angeles. LA is no paradise. It has lot’s of things to like, but lots of things to dislike.

As Jon Kabat-Zinn wrote, “Wherever You Go, There You Are.” You need to figure out what is making you unhappy because you could dig yourself into a deep hole and still feel the same way. I’d see a therapist to see if they can tease out what it is.

Yea, my son is an engineer there living with 2 other engineers. They pay over $5000/mo for an apartment. It’s not a great place to live on leverage as the debt racks racks up exponentially quicker.

Good luck!

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How often have you been going home!

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I would definitely advise you to stay at VCU and save the money! VCU is a fun school in a fun city. It was on my D22’s list, but didn’t have her major. Try to make friends and join clubs. You haven’t been there very long — a month?

I have lived in LA, worked right down the street from Westwood, and I and my D22 would much rather be in Richmond.

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You are not the only one struggling with buyer’s remorse (Buyer's remorse - Wikipedia)

You are comparing a reality with a fantasy- and that never ends well for reality!

Right now you have gone from the highs of being a senior! getting into great colleges! to the lows of being new and a lowly first year. California! seems beautiful and magical. Richmond…does not. UCLA and USC are shinier names compared to VCU, and all the things that make VCU better for you are vague, in the future things. So, a few thoughts to help you re-calibrate:

→ you will find your people- once you decide to. You say that you’ve “tried to give VCU a chance”- but also that you “dread coming back every time I visit home”. You have been there just FOUR WEEKS! and have already been home multiple times. Most students don’t go home until Thanksgiving! Stay put. Push yourself to get embedded in the community. Find the people doing your favorite activities (or learn a new one). Richmond has a super paramedic program that college students can do- have you looked into that? It is a way to get to know the other serious pre-meds in your school, help your own pre-med path and do something useful.

→ your chances of actually getting into medical school are probably better from VCU than UCLA. You are a star where you are, which will help come LoR time (much harder to stand out at UCLA). You should be able to do internships locally, which can lead to both direct and indirect support from the people you work with.

→ if your credits cover intro bio, chem & physics you will be able to skip the infamous weed-out classes and go straight into upper level classes of each.

→ being able to go straight into upper level classes at VCU should also give you really great options that you might not get at USC or UCLA! you should have more class choices, be able to do more internships and even study abroad (something a lot of pre-med students struggle with, b/c of having to finish their pre-med reqs).

→ IRL you don’t know what your choices would be if you applied to transfer (not just getting accepted or getting scholarship money, but what credits will transfer).

tl;dr- buyer’s remorse is a thing, but you can overcome it by looking for confirmation that you did in fact make a good choice. IMO, you definitely did, and future you is genuinely going to be better off for it.

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This. Friendships are formed over free time. If you’re not around on the weekends then you’re missing the times when a lot of college kids are making new friends.

In a previous post you wrote

About a month ago i found out i got into UCLA and i was so excited and had mentally planned out my entire experience at UCLA and i went to all the info sessions and met amazing people!

I don’t see this story ending well. How could you “plan out your entire experience” at UCLA? I see lots of wishful thinking and dreaming. UCLA is a nice school; I went there. But it isn’t nirvana. You’ll have large classes and disinterested profs just like any large public. You’ll struggle to get enrolled in the classes you want because everyone else wants them too. You’ll get little personal attention in your classes of 100-250 students your first two years, and most classes don’t go much below 100 upper-division if you pick a popular major.

The other kids wanting to go to med school need top grades, just like you, and to them you’re standing in their way. In another post you wrote about UCLA “The pre med program is very good here as it is a feeder school into some of the top med schools” which is about as far from true as anything can be. And premed advising? Sorry, they don’t have it. All you can do it talk to a jack-of-all-trades at the career center who was talking to a business major before you (if you don’t believe me, see https://caac.ucla.edu/academic-planning/pre-med-pre-health-planning/)

I could go on and on but it boils down to you’re building this castle in the sky to which no real college can compare, not even UCLA.

You’ve been posting about your despair in giving up UCLA since May so replies on the forum aren’t going to fix things up for you. I suggest you speak to a counselor to find your best way forward, see About - University Counseling Services - Virginia Commonwealth University

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I don’t think that it is healthy that by mid-September you have already visited home multiple times. It seems to me that you might be isolating yourself in your private room during the week, and that you might be further isolating yourself on the weekend because you do not remain on campus.

You need to make some friends. Do you keep your bedroom door open so that your neighbors can visit? Are you eating at the dining hall with other students? Have you joined a student organization?

You need to find the right life/work balance. What did you like to do when you were in high school besides homework?

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Followed @mikemac’s lead & went and read your post on letting go of your ‘dream’. Lolz, turns out I posted something pretty similar on that one. Here’s another comment on that thread from @ucbalumnus (who, as the user name indicates, has Cali cred):

Keep your eyes on the prize!

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Amen!! No question my son will retire early and we are 2 doctors here… Medical school debt is a real thing. Been there, done that. Lol

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Op, heed the advice. Get ahold of a professor and maybe you can do some research on something that excites you. Join and few clubs /org just because. Doesn’t have to be academic. My daughter did square dancing for a few weeks… Just because. Then did something else… Just because and met others and then joined some that she actually wanted to do. My son did flag football and started an organization with another student that excited him. Find your path.

Your not enjoying yourself since you won’t let yourself enjoy your experience. If your having a hard time with it the mental health services and or academic counseling are free and I am sure could help you out.

If you don’t get into school and really attempt to give yourself some joy, you won’t do well in your classes. Meet people with study groups. You will need them soon anyway. I agree, talking about going home and school just started… The question is… Why are you going home?

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Just because you were accepted by UCLA and USC for your freshman year doesn’t mean they’ll accept you again when you apply as a transfer student.

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This is a problem many students in the US face that are compelled to apply broadly and in many instances have many acceptances. It can be a curse as much as a blessing. I don’t remember if I have replied to you before but here is what I advised my kid: make a choice and don’t second guess yourself. If you were in a different country, that has ranked choice admissions, the choice would be made for you (I think that’s how med school apps work so hopefully you will not have the same types of regrets in the future). My kid is at UCLA and like one of the previous posters said, it’s a great school but it is not nirvana. The grass will always be greener on the other side. Water your grass, tend to it, and watch it grow.

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Yeah I know. I’m just trying to decide whether I should even reapply. I’ve maintained a 4.0 throughout the college courses I’ve taken to prepare though.

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i go home because i miss my dogs and they’re old😭 but i’m going to take your advice and stay on campus for the next couple of weeks and i’ve joined a few cultural orgs that I really enjoy!

The people at VCU are very diverse and they’ve been super fun and idk maybe it’s just my personal mindset that’s hindering my enjoyment. I still get severe FOMO from my friends at USC and UCLA

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…no ‘maybe’ about it…

That’s a whole other challenge that pops up every single autumn: student sees social media feeds from all their old friends which look so much more amazing than their more prosaic reality. If you haven’t learned yet just how misleading sm posts can be, it’s time to! I promise you: you can curate a sm feed that makes your situation look ah-mazing- and I also promise you that none of your friends are having as perfect a time as it looks on sm.

Remember: you choose the narrative for your story.

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You might enjoy volunteering with this program run by med school, Center for Human Animal Interaction
https://chai.vcu.edu/volunteer/

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Maybe their the ones that are FOMO at your school?

I went to a local commuter college in Detroit and my friends went there, Michigan and Michigan State locally. I went to visit them a few times. I realized that I was having as much fun doing my stuff but being premed the reality was I was studying in my library or theirs… Get involved in your school and let yourself enjoy your experience. There is always someone prettier, taller, has more money, and the opposite. Same with schools, they are probably more advantages to your school once you sit down and think about it.

Trust us that “had” to take out loans for medical school. We would all take your deal in a second. Problem is doctors are not business people. Look at this as a business transactions. The difference of free and even 50,000 is a lot in monthly payments plus medical school. You might not get the residency you want or one at all. You might not make what you think you will also. If your living in a high priced area, you might not be able to afford it due to your loans after medical school. It’s not all rosy.

Plus if what you said above is all your parents can contribute (which is great BTW), you don’t have enough to use it for undergrad.

I am sure they are doing great things at other schools also that you don’t want to go to. Maybe it’s time to start finding all the great things your school has to offer and stop looking at what others are doing…?

Good Luck.g

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Just an FYI: USC will accept Sophomore level transfers but not UCLA, they only accept Junior level transfers. So you are a Freshman and have 2 years before you will be able to transfer to UCLA. That is a long time so definitely make the best of your situation and embrace VCU. You may find that VCU is the best place for your in the end. Give it some time.

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