Depression has hit me hard, especially since I moved to an apartment to the city. I feel so ugly, inside and outside. Today, in math class, the math teacher started yelling and slamming the table because I couldnt’ understand what he said. I feel like I screwed up, especially when signing up for classes. I feel like I’m not ready for college because I wasn’t able to complete the goals I wanted, like losing weight and so on. I think it would be better if I took a gap year and got a job at a small business and did some stuff, rather than juggle a part time job and college. I feel that that would be too much stress and that I wouldn’t gain much from college itself. Currently, my career advisor and I are going over the resume. An appointment has been scheduled for next week, I think, so I think we’ll discuss on what is going to happen next. The thing is, when I was working my summer job, I feel that I wasn’t gaining anything because I spent too much time commuting and taking the subway that it drained my pocket full of money. I think it would be wise to take a gap year so I can spend more time making money and finding out my repertoire rather than go to college. I just feel guilty having to constantly borrow money from my mom every day for food.
Career advising is a great place to start. How about some mental health counseling too? Is is free at your school?
Use the health services at your college.
Check the deadlines for withdrawal - after meeting with a mental health counselor, see if you could get a medical withdrawal for the semester.
Make sure you attend as many sessions as authorized, to help you with your depression.
If you can’t withdraw, look for the drop deadline, and take a “lighter” load - be careful to remain above “full time” status, ie., 12 semester hours.
Can you keep your apartment while working? Can you increase your hours at work?
@NorthernMom61 it’s free, yes. Though I don’t feel comfortable talking to them, because I don’t where to start.
@MYOS1634 I’m already past the deadline for dropping classes, but I’ll check with a mental health counselor to see if I could get medically withdrawal. I’m currently part time since I’m taking remedial math and freshman year experience. My mom is paying for the apartment, since she is also trying to sell the house. I’m not working a part time job at the moment, since I feel it would be too much pressure.
If/when you go to the mental health counseling services at your school for an appointment, you will likely fill out some paperwork first that might ask you to describe your situation, much like you did in the original post above, if not, when you meet with the counselor, that is where you start, with your worries that you presented above and how it is affecting you emotionally. They are trained to ask questions and respond in ways that encourage clients to explain what their situation is. You may have to push yourself past your comfort zone to take the steps you need.
Depression is a hard battle. I can understand what you are going through. I returned to college in 2014 at age 43. I withdrew from two semesters trying to battle depression, deal with with my daughter’s emotional issues, and carry a fulltime course load.
I got a medical withdrawal. This past spring I only took two classes and two over the summer. I did great in my classes. Also, I started seeing a counselor on a weekly basis. I also had to have my depression meds adjusted.
Definitely see a counselor if you can.
Do what is right for you. A professor shouldn’t yell at you. If you need to work for awhile do that. You can always come back to college when you are ready. Taking care of yourself is the most important thing.
I am floating in the same boat… I am extremely depressed too between the back and forth commute and the absence of a real social life. It sucks, but you don’t just give up because a few things have defeated you. It happens, it’s tough… battling school and personal baggage of self-image and doubt is hard, but you just keep putting one foot in front of the other until you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain. Take advantage of the mental health counseling on campus like other people are saying and also, make a list of goals to look forward to. It keeps my mind in focus because this is only the beginning, your future self will thank you so much more knowing you pushed forward through all the pain and got that degree or certificate! Best of luck!!