<p>I’ve been out of school 20 years. Even back then, for me and my cohorts, the first job did not directly align to career goals or college majors. In a bad economy like this, many entry level jobs are given to college grads to get the grads in the door. I think the actual skills for many of these jobs are “beneath” the skills developed and honed in college. </p>
<p>DO NOT QUIT. Committment to a job goes a long way with future employers.</p>
<p>Since you are only 22 I assume you have had this job at most for a year. Give it more time, if for no other reason than to show committment on a resume.</p>
<p>I think your parents are taking advantage of you. First, they decided to buy “our” dream home. Is it your dream home? Or theirs?</p>
<p>Second, they could not qualify for the loan, so you became a co-signer. That is a major financial responsibility. To co-sign for somebody else means that YOU are responsible for their loan. That’s a heavy burden for a 22 year old.</p>
<p>Third, now YOU pay the mortage. Your money from your first job went to pay back the loans your parents took for a downpayment on their dream home. </p>
<p>All this does not sound right. At this stage in your life, I think you should be saving your money so that you can start YOUR life. Not provide a huge amount of support for your parents’ lifestyle. You want to go to grad school. You will likely want to move out into your own place someday. You should be able to use your earnings for the things you need and want. Not to finance your parents’ dream house. </p>
<p>I’m not against kids helping out their parents if they need some help. Or paying a small amount of rent to live in their parents’ home. But, the situation you are in makes it seem more like you are the adult in the relationship, as you are bearing a huge amount of responsibility. Too much responsibility for someone your age and in your stage of life.</p>
<p>Never, ever quit a job before you have another one. You will forever have to explain why you left, and you likely will have problems getting a good recommendation. For some reason, there seems to be suspicion surrounding people who leave a job to become unemployed, even if there was a very good reason for it.</p>
<p>If you are staring grad school in the fall, just suck it up for the next few months.</p>
<p>If all of your cash goes into the mortgage, how are you going to lose that income, continue to pay for the house and further pay for grad school?</p>
<p>Thanks. I guess I’ll continue to look around but stick with my job for the time being.</p>
<p>What would be the best way to interview with other companies without raising suspicions at work? Our vacation days need to be approved ahead of time, and unfortunately most interviewers only give a day or two’s notice before an interview. I would hate to ask my boss for a specific day off, only to be told that I can’t take that particular day off. If I then call in sick the morning of the interview, it would only make my boss and coworkers suspicious. They might get concerned because our office is currently very short-staffed, and we’ve had several important people leave the company recently.</p>
<p>I’ve looked into the employee handbook, and there is no mention of any personal days. Furthermore, I only have one official sick day left to use for the remainder of the year.</p>
<p>The typical “appointment” excuse might not work with last minute scheduling. Also, I usually have to commute for a bit to the interview, so I would have to be gone for several hours.</p>
<p>This is just ugly, and doesn’t get less ugly over time. There’s no good answer. Whatever you can do to maintain fairness and not get caught. It’s a shame that you (and we all) have to go through this, but that’s the way it is. As you get better jobs, you will probably have more freedom.</p>
<p>I’m still at my job. I wish I could say things are getting better, but I still want to leave as much as–if not more than–before. I ended up deferring graduate school by a year in order to continue working. I saved up some money while living at home, and had planned to either leave my job for another job (preferably) or graduate school by this summer.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, my mom thinks she’s going to lose her job within the next several months, and does not want me to quit my job for school, or even to move out at this time. She says we might have to sell our current home if both of us end up unemployed. My parents also want to “borrow” all the money that I’ve saved up and put it towards their home equity loan, saying that they will still take it out whenever I want to use it. They have covered almost all of my living expenses for this entire time, and will likely continue to do so for the foreseeable future. They/we have two homes, so we can always sell one off if it comes to that. However, hopefully it won’t come to that.</p>
<p>I’m guessing that going to graduate school fulltime this fall would still be a bad decision? My end goal was never grad school, but always a good, stable job that I don’t dread going to. The main thing I want now is a different/better-paying job, and that’s the driving force behind my decision to go to graduate school.</p>
<p>Also, would turning my savings over to my parents be a bad idea? My name is on one of the leases, so I do legally have partial ownership of one of our two houses. I know having all of our finances intertwined like this isn’t ideal and can’t be a long-term solution…</p>
<p>I’m really old so listen to me: Never, ever, quit a job until you have another one to go to. Never. Ever. Unless of course the job will put you in jail or kill you. Those are the exceptions.</p>
<p>Sorry, but why are your parents covering “almost all of my living expenses” and then not putting a cent toward their debts? You need to be either paying rent to them (so they can have money for the mortgage) or you need to move out so that you aren’t a financial burden for them.</p>
<p>Your parents may have a good reason for owning two properties that they can’t afford right now, but that also is something that you should be examining. Sit down with a financial advisor at your credit union or bank, and see if you can get the financial advice that you need.</p>
<p>Oh yes, if you “loan” your money to your parents to pay off their debts, you should consider it a “gift” and not expect to ever see it again. That way if you do, you can feel happily surprised, and if you don’t get it back, you won’t be bitter about it. Loans to family members all to often don’t get paid back.</p>
<p>funemployment, please reread post #22 and consider it carefully. If you look at your situation dispassionately, is this what has happened to you? Your post#27 really confirms it.</p>
<p>The very first thing I would do is figure out how to disentangle your finances from your parents. Will you be working a job you dislike, spending all your money to let your parents live in THEIR dream house, unable to do the things you want forever? This is not right. You know they managed their money poorly, will never pay you back a cent, and keep taking from you endlessly. Find a way (kindly) to get yourself out of this. It would be great if they could sell the house and you could get some of your money back from this. Do NOT turn over your savings to them, you should not have to beg and hope for your money back. If they pay down the HELOC with your money, lose their jobs and the house ends up in foreclosure, you lose it all.</p>
<p>You’re still a kid. You should be having the time of your life right now, not be burdened with the obligations and expenses of your parents. At least not for many more years.</p>
<p>The OP is paying the mortgage while her parents pay her other expenses. It doesn’t sound to me like she is a financial burden on them at all. It sounds like they are depending on her income to be able to afford to keep their “dream home”.</p>
<p>If you do loan your parents money, get something formal in writing. </p>
<p>It does sound like you need some professional financial advice to help you begin to un-entangle yourself from your parents’ finances so you can get on with your life.</p>
<p>Sorry if it sounds bad. I think your parents, especially your mom, want to tie you forever to their lives. They don’t want you to go to graduate school, they don’t want you to move out, they also want to take away your savings.
Think for yourself. How much are you paying for their mortgage every month? That’s your hard earned money you give to them every month. How much do they claim to pay for your living with them? You already give them one year of your time. How many more years are you willing to give to therm instead of start for yourself?</p>
<p>What was your education field? What major do you want to get into for your graduate school?</p>
<p>Why, when you and your parents bought the “dream” home, didn’t you off-load the other one? Is the second home a vacation home? Is it the desire (or tradition or whatever) of your family to buy the second home so that you have your own place to live? I still can’t make sense of this.</p>
<p>Many of the personal finance writers at big city newspapers will take on individuals and families with money issues, and help them sort things out. Pick up the papers, and see if anyone near you is doing that. In my area Michelle Singletary of the Washington Post is who I’d suggest you contact.</p>