I’ve been working my restaurant job since November. I’m the youngest by a few years so it was initially hard to fit in with my older coworkers and to be honest, I would act a bit rude to try and get their attention. They seemed close and spent time together after work and would tell these stories to each other in front of me.
But lately, I’ve seem to be loathing to go to this job. One of my coworkers accused me of seeing her as a “talking bobblehead” because I forgot to follow her instruction a couple times (it takes me a few tries to get something completely right)/called me “weird”, another coworker called me “immature” while the first coworker I mentioned laughed, and another coworker passive aggressively told me that a task, if he did it, could have been done in one second.
If it’s a customer acting rude, I can let it go because I know I won’t see them again. But these are coworkers - people I will see every time I come.
I know it’s not really worth talking to the other coworkers about these issues since they’ve worked at the restaurant much longer. I’ve tried to not let it get to me but it is and I don’t really know what to do.
There will be two types of advice here…and it’s hard to tell which is appropriate for your situation, so I’m gonna list both and let you pick.
First kind of advice will be…welcome to the real world. Coworkers can be a pain, and it’s up to you to let things roll off and get along with people from all walks. It’s part of the job, and no one likes a complainer. Work hard, improve, and they’ll have more respect for you. If you need the job, toughen up, and keep it.
Here’s the other advice… restaurant jobs are a dime a dozen. If you don’t feel respected and you truly don’t think it’s your fault…and your treatment borders on abuse…just quit. It’s not worth it in the long run. Sure, you’ll have thrown away a work reference, but so what? It’s a restaurant job. You can get a new one within a week or two (don’t mention the old one) and no one’s any the wiser. Might be smarter to line up a new job before you quit your old one, but we all have limits. Some places are not worth it…and food service often falls into that category.
That said…here’s my personal advice.
- Never be rude to your coworkers for any reason. Not for attention, not because you feel slighted. Leave that middle school crap in middle school. jAlways behave professionally, even if no one else is.
- Are you earning the insults or are you being abused? Take a hard look at your own behavior. If you think you're being abused just cut your losses and get a different job.v
- Consider the folks who have made food service a long term career. They might have a very different intellect, and seeming weird to them might not be a bad thing.
- Find a better opportunity. Move on and move up.
I’ve learned that once I really hated going to a job for 2 or 3 months, it’s time to find a new job.
I think that you should take this job as a learning experience and look for a new one asap. You started out on the wrong foot by being rude to your coworkers and now they are returning the favor. Whether it’s abuse or it’s deserved, the pattern is set and it would take a lot to change it. Since this probably isn’t the job you want to hold for the rest of your life, I agree with @MaryGJ that it’s time to move on.
One thing to consider is whether or not the restaurant environment is one that you enjoy. If it is, look for a new but similar job and remember, your co-workers deserve your respect just because they have been there longer and know the system and even if they don’t, be polite and pleasant and fit in.
I agree-- I think you burned your bridges, justifiably got a reputation as a smart ***, and now it’s hard to get around that.
Find another part time job, and start off knowing that you have a lot to learn. Respect that they were in business before you showed up, and will remain in business long after you leave, and learn all you can.
Learning how to be a good employee is one of the best reasons to get a part time job as a kid. It’s a lesson that will serve you well in life.
Are you really telling a teenager that there’s something mentally wrong with people who choose to make a career out of working in restaurants? OP hasn’t been behaving weirdly, she’s been purposefully rude to her coworkers. It may be very difficult to break the pattern where she is, although she could start by apologizing to them for acting so immaturely. She may be better off aplogizing then finding a different job that she approaches in a more mature manner.
This is right up there with the most general and insulting comments I’ve read on this forum. Do you KNOW a lot of folks who have made a career out of food service? I do.
To the OP…are you a HS or college student? Is this a summer job also? It will be a challenge to find another summer job now.
In addition, it’s a life skill to learn how to deal with folks who are not the same as you…and to figure out how you fit into the puzzle.
How important is this job to your goals? If you leave, and are not making money, will you be able to continue with your education or support?
To me that is the key question. If this job is relatively unimportant to your overall life, I’d chalk it up to experience and find something else. If your life grinds to a halt without a steady paycheck, I’d deal with it for now but keep looking. And I would keep all this to myself - i.e., do not talk about it with co-workers.
I would start looking for a new job. While doing that I would take a hard look at how my behavior may or may not have influenced my coworker perceptions . If there is a coworker you do have a good relationship with, you might want to have a conversation about the situation. Might be painful but take what you learn to heart. This is but the first of a long string of jobs in your life. It is entirely possible that it is simply not a good fit and the next job will be more comfortable socially but with each job you will learn and grow.
I’ve been working there since November but I decided to continue working there this summer
Yea I do admit that, like I mentioned, I acted rude/passive aggressive at first and I’m afraid that it’s too late to reverse that.
Your co-workers don’t have to be your friend, don’t have to include you in their out of work activities. You said they are older, and perhaps you aren’t old enough to go to clubs or concerts or events they go to. They have the right to go and have a drink if that’s what they want to do.
If you are going to college in the fall, stick it out for this summer.
In restaurants the waitresses and bartenders and cooks are generally in their 20s-50s. If you are a teenager or a college student you will not fit in with them as an equal. They may assume you think you are better than they are, that you’ll be leaving soon, etc. It will be the same in every restaurant. So act respectful around them, don’t cause trouble, and try to helpful and not too annoying.
And yes you should find a new job! My advice above is for your next job :). Sometimes a line is crossed and you can’t go back. Sounds like this has happened to you if your co workers are openly ganging up on you. Keep some
dignity and find a new job. Leave gracefully.
I worked in a restaurant in high school for 3 years. The manager was an English major. The rec. letter he wrote me was a thing of beauty. And talked about things a high school teacher would never have thought to mention or know about me.
This is something you should address, whether in this job or the next one. Maybe carry a small notebook and a pencil to write down any complicated instructions in a quick shorthand so that you can get everything. Try to make sure you have whatever instructions you are given perfectly clear by parroting them back to the person giving them and asking for clarification if you don’t understand something.
Judging by your other threads you have been having a hard time getting along with people this year.
Why do you think that is?
@Consolation I think it could be chemistry but also that I’m the youngest one working there
How incredibly rude.
My sister has worked at the same restaurant since she was 14 (she’s now 30) and basically runs the place. She makes more money in a night than I make in 2 weeks- and I have several more advanced degrees than her. She is incredibly intelligent and continues to work there because it is very good money and her boss treats her like a daughter. Plus she gets to set her own schedule and take vacations and travel at will. If you ask me, she was pretty damn smart to continue there.
It makes me sad that there are still so many people out there who judge an individual’s intelligence based on his or her area of work. Did it ever occur to you, @marygj that this was the path that was open to them? Many can’t afford to go to college and due to a variety of systemic forces, this is the path that they’ve had to choose to support themselves and/or their families.