I am in an unusual situation and I would really like to get some outside input on what other people who’ve experienced similar problems think I should do.
I am a junior in the CUNY system and I’m now at the point where I can no longer keep to myself how much I really hate school. I’m a Business Administration major and I could not be more bored or unmotivated by the subject. For years I’ve been trying really hard to stay on the path and do what I think is right for myself career-wise, but I am beginning to question all of this. Outside of school, I work full-time as a waitress in order to pay for school and avoid taking out loans. This has always been my biggest motivator for studying something that makes decent money in college so that I won’t have to be stuck waitress and making so little money for the rest of my life. Even though I hate my job, I’m beginning to hate school even more. I constantly hear from friends about how they are studying things that they have a passion for, and about all the new projects they’re working on, and about how their internships are in things that they actually enjoy doing - and it all makes me so depressed. I know that a lot of the time people tend to exaggerate and make themselves look like their lives are more exciting than they really are; but, they definitely aren’t as completely disinterested in school as I am. I’d love to study something that I’m actually good at and care about but the things that I like to do (like art, for example) don’t make very much money and are difficult to find jobs in. I know that the right thing to do is to continue with my business degree since I am so far along already and because of the fact that I’ll have more job opportunities as a result. But to be completely honest, I think that I’ll be miserable in a job where I’ll just be sitting behind a desk figuring out somebody’s finances anyway! So I’ve been really considering taking off next semester to reassess and possibly going for something that I actually enjoy doing instead - regardless of what kind of money it makes. I don’t know if this is a really stupid idea and that I’m making a big mistake in not pushing through, or if my life could be different if I pursued something that I love.