I am currently finishing up the first semester of my junior year of college. I strongly disliked almost all my major-related classes this semester and realized I had no passion for it and was only taking that major to make good money one day, so I changed my major for next semester. This semester was quite rough on me mentally. I am living in the freshman dorms out of necessity instead of in an apartment, and luckily I have a single within it, but it still sucks. Especially since I lived in an apartment last year, my dorm room reminds me more of a prison cell.
At this point in the semester, I feel like I am completely burnt out with the routine of going to class and doing homework 5 days a week, and in the classes I had been taking for my previous major, I no longer pay attention or copy anything down because I just don’t care. I will teach myself before finals, but I am only there to be physically present since there is an attendance sheet. I find it very hard to motivate myself to do assignments with any degree of difficulty, and even the mindless ones tend to be a pain for me.
At this point, I have begun to desire taking next semester off and then resuming in the fall. I did pick a good set of classes for next semester, and I hope that will lift my spirits, but I do honestly feel like I’d rather be working and/or going to community college and only taking 1 or 2 classes than being here and taking 5. But to work in an office setting like I want to, you need a Bachelors degree, so I have to be here, otherwise I would’ve gone straight to work after high school. I know I will like my new classes, because I have taken introductory classes for my new major and actually liked them, but I don’t know if I should take next semester off first and then come back extra motivated to finish my degree. But at the same time I want to see what my new classes and my new major will be like and experience them firsthand.
I will be speaking to a counselor next week, but I figured it never hurts to have as many sources as possible. So based on how mentally exhausted as I am from mainly my classes and a little bit my living situation, do you think it is in my best interests to take the entirety of next semester off? I would have to decide soon, and I am thinking this mental crisis might be solely due to the classes I took this past semester and my dorm situation, and if that is the only a reason, a break probably wouldn’t help that. I don’t know how it would work with my aid and my family thinks I should ride it out, and I do like my school and want a degree from there. But at the same time, I love the idea of staying home for a semester and working and just relaxing without any pressure, because I am 100% myself when I’m there. Christmas break is approaching, but I don’t feel like it will be nearly enough to refresh me, because it is 4 weeks long, which is really nothing on paper.
Go to the Counseling Center and tell them
" I no longer pay attention or copy anything down because I just don’t care. I will teach myself before finals, but I am only there to be physically present since there is an attendance sheet. I find it very hard to motivate myself to do assignments with any degree of difficulty, and even the mindless ones tend to be a pain for me.
Get evaluated for depression
Let us say that you could do whatever you wanted next semester. You still need to do well this semester so you have good GPA that will get allow you to do whatever you want to do in the future. Get a tutor if you need to or a friend to hel pyou stay accountable
Talk to the Dean of Students. Ask her/him how they would handle a Leave of absence. Ask if you can take CC classes or not. You want to leave the possibility open that you can come back.
How do you know you like the new major? Yes, you liked the 101 classes, but what about the harder ones?
Do you have a contract for a whole year for your dorm? What would happen if you broke it?
Can you take less classes next semester? Like maybe 12 credits and put less pressure for now?
My work this semester really isn’t hard except for 2 of the classes, which are the ones I just no longer care about, since I only have them each 3 more times before the semester ends. It’s the mentality of the whole routine that is getting to me: going to classes and listening to lectures every single day, eating poor quality food, living in a closet sized room with no furniture and listening to the freshmen banging on the walls and yelling, etc. I am in a couple of clubs and they do things I enjoy, and I feel good when I am away from school doing things with them, but when I have to go back to academics I am somewhat deflated again. Living in the freshman dorms doesn’t help my situation either. And the careers I can do with my new major sound really interesting, but I just wish I could go right to work. I work retail on breaks, and I’d even rather be doing that than sitting in a classroom listening to lectures. But the latter part must come before the former in today’s world unfortunately. And I do like my school specifically, it’s just the whole process anywhere that would start to suck at this point.
Please take @bopper’s advice. I couldn’t give you better. When you get counseling give the counselor permission to talk with you and your parents, over Skype if necessary, to sort out next steps.
I agree that you should talk to a counselor, as you can give them a holistic picture of your emotions and situation and they can help you out. It could be that you are suffering from depression, and that treatment could help.
Buuuuuut I also think it’s really common for students to get bored in their junior year!
Let’s face it: by the time junior year comes around, the novelty of college has worn off, and the grind is really underway. It’s not uncommon for students to feel somewhat ready to be free of the grind of college and graduate into a new life. When I was in your shoes, I had some mental health conditions to deal with but I also was just kind of tired of college, too. I was ready to move onto something new (well, theoretically).
If you’re a junior taking your major courses now, a community college may not have the courses you need to actually fulfill your requirements. There is the option of taking a semester to do an internship or work, just to give yourself a bit of a break, but that’ll probably extend your time to degree for another semester, so it may be a net neutral or even a net negative.
If there are underlying mental health concerns you need to address those, and my advice would be different. But if it’s just simple boredom…well, you gotta treat it like a job. Like any job, there are some unpleasant aspects or things that may not be your favorite to do, but if you need a BA to prepare for the kind of work you have to do, then you can treat it like filing papers or making charts in Excel or writing TPS reports or whatever the equivalent of office drudgery is - something you need to do to check a box, even if it’s not your favorite thing.
@juillet I don’t know what it is. I guess I feel like college is my entire life at this point, especially since I live there. I feel like everyone’s lives around me are so much more stable, since they are not constantly going back and forth between home and college and get to do other things with their lives besides attend classes all the time. I hope I even enjoy my Christmas break at this point, because it is extremely short and doesn’t really give me any time off. I have a lot of family events coming up right arohnd Christmastime, and I want to enjoy them rather than thinking about going back to school soon. Living in the sophomore dorms makes it worse because I like having a place that feels like home, and this room doesn’t. The only furniture I have is a bed, and I am basically taking steps backward with my living situation rather than forwards. I actually feel like a child for living in the dorms at my age. That’s only part of my overall problem, not the whole problem, but my point is that it doesn’t help the situation either.
Are there schools where you can live at home? Honestly, the only reason I got through junior year was study abroad. Then, senior year I took off for the first semester and lived with my boyfriend and cobbled together a slew of classes in my home city that I just transferred back to school. Otherwise, I. just. got. it. done. Those were the two mental breaks I needed to finish in four years. If you worked out classes now that your school would be willing to transfer back for the Spring, you could still be productive, get that break and maybe save a little money. Otherwise, you are going to have to grind but getting breaks will help. Don’t underestimate how unhealthy the environment is in the dorms. Between the food and lack of sleep, it’s not what you need - it’s not you.
@CCtoAlaska I could easily live at home at my school, but my parents won’t allow it. It’s a 40 minute drive without traffic, 50-an hour with. Nothing that I personally would have a problem with, I know plenty of people from my very town that commute here, and I usually have classes 4 days a week. They said for next year I don’t have to live in the dorms, that I can either live in an on campus or off campus apartment, which will at least help me feel more mature and not like my life is completely downhill. I can actually cook for myself and feel slightly independent. However, for the remainder of this year, I am stuck in the freshman dorm. And even if I was in an apartment, I’d still have the grind of going to classes day after day for 15 weeks straight, but at least I could go back to something other than a small room with a bed and cement walls. That’s how living in the freshman dorms makes the situation worse-I feel like I am never “off.” I’m going to be asking the counselor this week whether or not he thinks I should take a break and what else I can do.
@beachguy20 I hope they have some good advice! Your life is not going downhill at all. It’s just the stress of feeling more mature and wanting to exercise more control over your life and not being able to. It gets a lot better!
I took off first semester of junior year and learned a lot. Biggest was that I wanted that degree. But you need a plan, not just an idea of escaping. The bottom line is: just finish. Get the grades you need. Figure out how.
Now is not the time to talk about changing colleges. If you can commute, fine. Having a plan means knowing what you’ll do, not finding out too late that one semester off turned into two, no job or accomplishments, and eventually no degree.
Do you have friends on campus, hang with them, do things? Feeling like you have downtime is witin your control. Why do you describe going back and forth between home and the college?
@lookingforward I very much like my college and the people there so I would truthfully be ashamed if I couldn’t get a degree from there. Just the process of college, the parts that freshmen love, and the monotony of listening to lectures day after day until I graduate is depressing me. I do have two friends I hang out with, and I enjoy their company very much, but then it’s back to the grind. One was also in every class with me this semester, so classwork was a frequent topic of conversation, even when we weren’t there. I didn’t feel this way in high school because I was able to go back to my own room every day, the classes weren’t nearly as mundane and I had family and more friends to keep me occupied outside of school. I feel like coming back after winter break will especially be hard for me this year, but I absolutely hope I’m wrong. Are you recommending that I do not take next semester off, just to clarify?
You don’t mention your major but maybe doing a co-op in your major of study, new or old one. At least your still staying in your field and getting credit but your away from school itself. Maybe less classes and pick up research to do something different. Talk to your counselor and your mental health people at school or by your home. I would see someone over your break. The break itself and possible medication might just be what you need. I tell my kids that with their tuition they get a lot of free stuff like tutors, music, mental health and to use all the resources your school has to make you successful.
At a lot of schools classes are video /audio taped. Maybe just doing this might break the cycle for you. You can study when you want to…
@Knowsstuff my school hardly offers any of those classes and I’m pretty sure prohibits undergrads from taking anything online (only graduates can). I already met with the dean to change my field from what I was studying before to a new field which I am positive I will like. I’ll be beginning to take those classes next semester, assuming I will be here. I really am hoping that helps lift my spirits, but I don’t know. Two of my classes are also at my school’s other campus location, so at least I will get to travel a little. I don’t anticipate the springtime being all that bad, but going back after Christmas break to the cold weather, dark days and living in a dorm eating cafeteria food and sharing a bathroom is going to be rough, or at least I think. I am looking forward to talking to the counselor to see if I have a legitimate mental disorder or if I just need a change of scenery. It is too late to study abroad also unfortunately.
I am not saying taking an online class. A lot of schools video and or audio tape the lectures. Then you would go and view or listen to them at the time you choose… Just a suggestion. Lots of kids go to through this BTW. - but it sounds like some form of depression. Get the help you need and deserve.
You don’t say why you are living in the freshman dorms after being in an apartment but I assume it’s a financial reason? If not can you move in with one of your friends or find a cheap place to live as a possibility? If not and your parents don’t want you to commute for the semester maybe coming home a few weekends here and there would be helpful Alot of schools also have bulliten boards to change living situations or maybe finding a roommate that has an apartment. Lots of kids change their living arrangements.
@Knowsstuff I was supposed to rent an apartment with my friend for this year, but he wound up getting a one bedroom and leaving me in the dust. It was already July by the time he did this, so I had no other choice besides the freshman dorms. Last year I was in an on campus apartment with random roommates, so it was technically a dorm also, but an apartment with a living room, three bedrooms and a kitchen. They were ok but all did their own things this year. I don’t have any friends who are looking for roommates. I do go home a decent amount of weekends, but sometimes on the ones I stay, I am counting down until my next trip home. I also don’t want to risk living with a random person because sometimes that turns out bad if you don’t get along with them. I also understood that I wouldn’t be allowed to live at home, but I worked with a realtor and everything for a second semester apartment off campus by myself but my parents squashed the idea because I am in a fairly dicey area. They would be paying so I had no say. Next year, the apartment is a possibility though luckily.
You also said soph dorm.
OP, you’re describing a fatigue that can strike in every life stage. We can hate our jobs, walking the same route every day, having to clean up after every meal, etc. Most of us wish for the comforts of an earlier time, when family doted on us, everything was taken care of. Sometimes, it’s possible. Sometimes, it’s not reality. And sometimes, we need to face our responsibilities, as they are.
I can’t tell you to stay or go. But I agree with @bopper that counseling could help you sort what’s what. And it could give you back a sense of control.
It’s not the worst to live in a dorm. A lot of people get bored by classes or homework. But they draw on their ability to bounce back, take themselves in hand, and keep going. Counseling might identify some cause. Think about it. If there’s something else causing your dismay, why not tackle it, with a pro?
I went back after one semester. I hated being dependent at home (full time is different than occasional breaks or summer.)
@lookingforward thank you. Today happens to be one of the bad days. I irrationally feel like I’m in jail and need to get out, and I am thinking I really want to go home. I feel like I can easily power through my new classes, because i just changed my major today, if I can just be home for the remainder of college. I don’t know why that would be so bad in my parents’ eyes. I told them when they asked that I do not have depression, I am simply in a rut, but that may not be the case after all. I am seeing the counselor next week, and just to be clear, I am not planning on hurting myself in any way, so I can wait until next week to talk to them.
@beachguy20. All the terms you use just in this post and others leads to some form of depression. Have your parents read this thread. Being in a rut and/or depression is just symantics. The first thing is you recognize that something is wrong and your willing to seek help. I recommend you still do that.
I am going to counseling no matter what, but tomorrow, I will be talking with my father about the possibility of living at home for the remainder of college, including next semester. I have lived away for 2.5 years, and I never truly loved it, but now it is killing me. I like the school I’m at, and I also have a good group of friends, but even when I am with them here, I still feel very down. I know living here is the cause of my depression, because when I was home for Thanksgiving break, I was truly happy and back to my normal self. Then starting on Sunday night, I began to feel anxious and depressed, and the feelings came back once I arrived back on Monday. So I really feel like I would be so much of a healthier, happier person if I could just be home in my own zone and be able to have the two worlds separate from each other. This doesn’t mean I won’t get my own apartment after college and that I will live with my parents forever, like I know many people will think. It’s just what I need to do right now. My mom is 100% okay with it because I confessed everything to her, but I have yet to talk to my dad. We have discussed it a couple of times before and he is adamantly against me commuting, but I never told him how bad it is lately. Hopefully when I do he’ll be more understanding and change his mind. And yes, the dorm fee for next semester is refundable.