So, as we’re nearing the end of the semester, things are getting more and more crazy. Last night, our floor got trashed. When I was walking back to my room, I saw a few girls drunk out of their minds ripping down the bulletin boards and tearing the name tags and stuff off doors. Obviously, I couldn’t really stop them because I don’t have authority to do. When my RA got back, she looked like she was about to cry when she saw what happened (and was pretty angry to say the least). Anyways, when I was walking by and saw them trashing the place, I recognized one of the girls in the group who actually lived just down the hall (and the rest I’m assuming were also her friends). I’ve never talked to her before, but I’ve seen her around. But this now leads to my dilemma. Should I tell my RA about what I saw or should I just let it go? On one hand, telling her probably wouldn’t change anything, but that girl and her friends are most likely gonna get more than just a simple citation, especially considering how mad my RA was. But, at the same time, I feel really bad about what happened and the fact that my RA actually cried because of it (even though I was never a part of it).
Yes, you should absolutely tell your RA!
I agree. There’s been a good bit of vandalism on my daughter’s campus lately, so they’ve started charging each student a fee to cover damages! It’s not fair for the hooligans to get off without penalty.
Yes, tell, fill out any required reports, this is vandalism.
You should let them know, however, remember you will probably still be living there the next semester.
Therefore I would recommend letting the RA know it anonimously (note under door or something).
You dont want to be known as a snitch (not that you should care about what others think).
What kind of place so you want to live? Is it more important to not have people trashing your home or does the “snitches get stitches” ethos really matter to you? If you might be the one drunkenly wrecking the lounge next weekend I can see a place for restraint, but honestly why wouldn’t you drop a dime? If you’re concerned about backlash then do it anonymously, but you’re looking at a choice between a culture where drunken destruction is OK or it is not. She’s probably not going to get expelled (unless you’re at BYU or something) so vote with a note.
Absolutely tell the RA. RA’s are supposed to keep things confidential. If you think the specific RA might be too upset, talk to the RD, her supervisor. If you simply don’t want your name out there, please do it anonymously. My D was an RA and I know how much care and thought she put into her hallway and floor displays each semester. Some people might think that it’s silly to be so upset about hallway decorations, but I can easily see my own D in tears if something like that happened to her.
While I completely understand your not taking a stand at the time because you were outnumbered, there is NO reason not to tell and zero reason for these girls to get a free pass. What they did was probably against school regulations. I doubt they would be expelled, if this is their first violation, but a penalty might teach them an important lesson.
Please do the right thing.
Alright, so I told my RA what happened. The whole reason why I was contemplating it before was because I wasn’t sure it’d be worth getting my RA worked up over it again when it’d probably blow by on its own, but since pretty much all of you guys said that I should, that’s what I ended up doing. Also, I’m not too worried about what others thought of me, so I kinda went the direct route and just went over to her room to tell her.
Anyways, rumor going around the floor is that apparently the girl and her friends (which I have no idea how my RA found out who they were) all got written up twice. My school uses a 3-strike system: 1st is warning, 2nd means you have to take a special “alcohol intervention and community standards” class (which you have to pay for), and 3rd is housing probation (which means that they have to move to a different living area on campus and they get barred from regular housing). 2 of them had to take the class (one of which was the girl on my floor) and the other 2 got put on housing probation. Not sure if the turnout is a bit excessive though, especially for the 2 that basically got forced out of their dorms right at the end of the semester, but what’s done is done. At least my RA finally has some peace of mind I guess.
Also @techmom99 , it’s not so much that I was afraid of being outnumbered, but rather that I didn’t really have any authority to stop them. Plus, considering how drunk they were, I wasn’t sure how’d they react, and the last thing I needed was to get expelled or something for defending myself in a situation I didn’t need to be in.
I am glad you did the right thing. I hope you are feeling some relief now from the stress.