I haven’t posted in a while, but not much has changed. I feel isolated and separated from the student body at UVA. Is it more common to feel out of place at UVA, or would I feel the same at other colleges?
I haven’t made any friends, and therefore I feel depressed and upset a lot of the time. Is it my fault, because I’m too quiet or weird, or is it because I just don’t fit with the student body and am not worthy of befriending? Is it because I don’t try hard enough, or because that’s how it will be for the rest of my time here?
I don’t want to spend the rest of my college years like this, so I’m considering transferring, even to a school that’s less ‘prestigious’, just so I wouldn’t be emotionally tortured just for a UVA degree. Of course, I thought of it so late that I’d probably have to transfer in Spring 2016, rather than next fall, unfortunately, as I’d lose more time as a student at my new school.
My academic experience has gotten better, as I’m happier with my classes. My grades aren’t bad. However, everyone here is quite competitive so I feel unnerved about picking a major I like, just because everyone in it would possibly be so different from me. I would definitely probably be more academically happy at a different school. I don’t even think the academics are particularly good here, just because class sizes are so large and the professors aren’t there for you.
Is it like this for many people, still, this late in the year? Or should I have applied to transfer a while ago? I just don’t fit in to the UVA mold, I suppose, or maybe I came in with a bad outlook.
Hi! First of all, maybe you don’t like to hear this, but I understand you. I, myself, am quiet and sometimes even consider myself weird unless I’m with a handful of close friends that have seen the “true” me. I have trouble making friends, but I really try and sometimes, it works! I don’t go to UVA yet, but I’ve recently been accepted and I am soooo excited to go there! I know it is a pretty “social” school or whatever you like to call it, but I’m just ready to challenge myself and make new friends. Have you considered joining clubs? I know UVA has loads of activities so if you haven’t tried, maybe you should strongly consider! Is your roommate and you not close? Before you transfer, you should try everything possible to try and fit in again. It’s never your fault for anything, but since you said you’re quiet, make a social friend and follow that friend to places. Just don’t be depressed. You’re awesome! Sometimes, it takes a while for someone to adjust to an environment. It’ll be hard, but for the last 2 months remaining, just try to get yourself “out there!” I wish you the best of luck!! Just don’t be depressed or think it’s your fault! 
If you could describe your friends from high school and what you had in common with them, it might help us figure out an avenue at UVA for you to make friends. It is much harder to make friends as a transfer, so unless it really is a culture problem with UVA (UVA being a public school gives it much more diversity in terms of people and interests than many smaller colleges so it is hard for me to understand how there is no one you can connect with) I don’t know how successful you would be at a different school. Based on your comments (wanting smaller classes, etc) I am surprised you picked UVA (known for large intro classes) in the first place. It does seem like you would fit in at a smaller college better. But if you pick the wrong one, you won’t get along with anyone any better than you are at UVA. Have you looked into Brown College? That is where I lived. It’s like a small college within UVA.
I’ll take into account your advice.
@broomtwosheets I am sorry you have had a bad experience at UVA but I know how you feel. My DD has felt the same way for her 3 years there. I have also talked to lots of kids and parents who have told me about similar feelings. I will say that in many cases the people who hated it the first year gradually grew to hate it less. My kid went from a 1 out of 10 her first year to a 3 out of 10 her 2nd year. This year she has been more like a 4 out of 10. My point is that is you do end up staying it is very possible that you will adjust. Some even learn to like it after originally hating it.
Like other have suggested, join clubs or volunteer etc. Try to find something where you can integrate with people and find others who have interests more like you.
I would also suggest you get counseling. That can help you to adjust as well.
Good luck and PM me if needed.
I’ll toss out a sideways view here…I was talking with a woman over the weekend who’s in maybe her mid-twenties and we were talking about colleges…she mentioned how she started at Georgetown but 6 months into it, decided that she had made a big mistake – very unhappy, felt out of place. She then transferred to Emory and finished out her 4 years there. And she was going on and on about it being the best decision she had ever made…etc…in her case, she went from one great school to another great school…but for whatever reason, the 2nd school worked better for her.
So I would keep an open mind to everything.