Hi.
Currently, I am a freshman at a small liberal arts school in Ohio. At first, I was ok with the environment and I was very excited to have the freedom and to meet new people. However, eventually I got very homesick and tired of constantly having to put myself out there in order to have friends or plans. The school is very small and there aren’t really “groups” of friends and it feels like I talk to a lot of people, but in truth I have no close friends or anyone I feel secure with. I don’t know if it is just that I take a long time to connect with people or that the social environment is so based on individual relationships rather than groups, but I feel much less connected than my peers.
Also, most of my friendships at school are based on drinking/drugs and while I do take part, I feel like I don’t have much in common with these people besides this, and at this point it is a little excessive for me. I have joined several clubs and activities but I still feel really lonely, sad, homesick, and generally just less passionate about my interests and hobbies.
The school is also in the middle of nowhere, and while at first I liked that everything was in walking distance, the longer I spend here, the more trapped I feel. Every event and place is associated with the school and I feel like I haven’t talked or seen people from outside of the campus/not affiliated with the school in forever. I miss having a city close by and to be able to explore/try new things easily.
My school has a very long winter break, so I was excited for that, and my break turned out to be great. I hoped that I would miss people from my school or even the freedom, but being home for so long made me incredibly happy, and it made me realize that I could be having a much better experience. I also visited one of my high school friends at her school and it made me realize that a lot of what was bothering me about my school was the small size and the location in the middle of nowhere.
Now that I am back, I am even more unsatisfied than before. I am super homesick and it feels like everything I disliked before is back but x10
While I know i should give it more time before I rush into things, transferring might be particularly beneficial due to my circumstances. There is a school back home that one of my parents works at that is equally, if not more, prestigious than my current school, and since my parent works there, my tuition is free. As a senior, I got into the school, and I am fairly certain with my current college grades that I would get in again. I just feel like if I am going to be unhappy, I might as well be unhappy and save my parents A LOT of money. Also, I think I might really like being able to go to my parent’s office every so often/have a place to escape at this other school. My best friend from high school goes to a different school nearby this other school, and I know that if I transferred there, we would be able to see each other more often, and I miss her a lot.
I initially didn’t attend this school because I thought I needed to leave home to have “a real college experience” but now that I actually know what college is like, I think I could be close to home and still feel independent.
Some of what holds me back is that this new school is bigger. Part of me feels like this is what I need and it might help me have a larger and more diverse group of people to find friends in. On the other hand, my parents are big supporters of liberal arts colleges and this new school is not one of them and I fear I won’t get the same broad education that they want me and I want to get.
I want to give it more time, but the deadline to submit my application is approaching very fast. Is it worth it to just send in the application and then decide? Please let me know if you need anymore details.
Sticking to your values is the key to self worth and it’s where you find loyal friends.