Should I write about my abusive/dysfunctional family?

College Essays
1

I don’t think I’d be the same person had I not experienced certain situations. One of them being my abusive history with my parents.

My parents, like many others, were not the happiest couple in the world. [MOD NOTE: They had another baby.]

MODERATOR NOTE: Edited out personal information.

My baby sister makes me want to become a better person every single day. It may sound cheesy, but now that she can talk she has told me every single day without fail “I am so happy today.” With everything going on with her parents, her saying that makes me want to give her a life filled with joy and laughter. It makes me feel so good as a big sister, like I have done a good job in trying to be a good sibling/mother figure in her life.

I never really had any passions, but now that I have baby sister in my life I really want to give her a good life, and one way I could give her a good life is through getting a good education and pursuring a good career, so that she can eventually come and live with me where I’ll try my best to give her a life filled with joy. She is in my best interest after all.

I really want to tell my story, however i feel like it’s kind of a pity party, which it is, but I genuinely think I learned something valuable from it. Please let me know and feel free to give me some critique if you can!

2

Perhaps focus on your relationship with the baby rather than the relationship with your family as a whole. When you talk about the baby you will be a able to demonstrate leadership skills and good traits. Don’t focus too much on your background although you can implement it subtly try not to talk too much about the traits of your family the college admissions people want to know your traits!

3

Oh okay that totally makes sense!

4

Remember that your essay is somewhere between a job application and a marketing piece for @okaykarla, with the goal of having an AO read it and think, ‘yes, this student is a great fit for our college’.

So, back up and think about what else is in your app: your stats, your ECs, your LoRs. Taken together, what do they show about who you are as a student / as a member of the community? What do you want to add or emphasize? Think also about what the colleges you are applying to are looking for in their students.

It’s great that your love for your sister, and that your desire to continue to make her world better is motivating you in your studies. And it’s terrible that you have had such a hard go of it at home. But remember: the purpose of your essay is to show colleges why you - not your sister, not your family- should come be a part of their community.