I did read the OP as saying her daughter was deciding on her sexuality, but picked up more that the OP herself needs some organizational help. Hasn’t filed taxes in 4 years? Now only wants to do it to get financial aid? What type of college would she pick for her for her daughter? In which country?
OP, I think you can steer your child to colleges, to tour, to search online, but if she shows no interest, she’s not interested. I’ve done a lot of the paperwork for FA for my kids, and honestly I’m sick of their lack of interest. It is easier for me to just do it, but I want them to take some interest. It is like pulling teeth for them to just take 30 minutes to get a FAFSA ID, or to follow up with FA. Don’t do it if she’s not interested.