<p>Here is my situation: I'm 24 years old, the oldest of a 22yr old brother 13yr old sister. I am the first in my family parents, grandparents to ever attend college. I've been enrolled in school consistently since the end of high school, but only part time due to having trouble and dropping math class in my community college and working almost full time to pay for classes. Last year I finally transferred to a 4 yr university and am in a bit of a deliema adjusting as the school it is overwhelming to me and I feel I have no mental support from parents since they know nothing attending college. Instead I actually feel more of a burden from my mother who pretty much runs our household as she is making me feel guilty of living rent free. Last week she yelled at the top of her lungs at me for asking her not to allow my younger sister to wear some of my clothing as she is bigger than me and has stretched/ or put holes in some of my clothing in the past. During her yell attack on me she told me that I "do nothing". I don't seem to understand how I do nothing as my life constists of class from 8am - 12 then homework then work from 5-11 at night, while my brother who is only 2 years younger than me sits home all day with no job or school and relies on other in the house hold to cook him meals and drive him places. To top it off my mother has previously yelled at me more than once for not allowing my younger sister to use my laptop computer that I purchased soley for use of my school work, as she has broken many computers in the past due to careless use. I am beginning to feel like I don't belong in my family anymore as no one understands my struggle and instead guilt me into thinking I should be paying rent and be held responsible since I am the oldest of my sisters needs. I feel as though since my sister is the youngest she is catered to most with all expensive things that my mother couldn't afford to buy for me at that age such as way overpriced eye glasses and name brand clothes while I am struggling to pay for school. Although I do not feel my parents are obligated by any means to help me pay for college, I do feel as parents that are not financially able to pay, the least they can do is not make me feel guilty by being their child, living in their home and attempting to make a better future for myself, than perhaps my brother who has no plans on moving out ever. Also a side note that I have a boyfriend who already graduated with a decent job is living with his parents who would never throw in his face that he lives rent free while he saves for a down payment for our future house. With this being said I would love to move out, however I can't afford to based on my income and my boyfriend is convinced it is in our futures best income to not take out anymore loans as I already must do for tuition since I am receiving no financial aid. Just curious on anyone's opinions or ideas for me? </p>
<p>First let me say how amazing you are for hanging in there with school. It is much easier to go a different path that won’t be rewarding in the future. My suggestion is to go to the Financial Aid office at your school and ask them for their help. There may be some aid that you have not considered that may be free. It is just a suggestion, and you may have already tried this, but I just thought I would mention it. Also, I see your mom is very frustrated at the situation at home. When there is a moment that is peaceful, I would suggest you ask your mom to sit down and ask her what she thinks you should do to make it easier for everybody. Please tell her your side and let her know how hurtful her complaints are. since you are the oldest, she probably expects the most from you. Just know, you are really an impressive young lady and just remain true to yourself and keep strong. I would be very proud of you if you were my daughter. Hang in there.</p>
<p>Just keep with it and try to ignore it as much as possible an continue on. I know its hard but don’t give up your dream to satisfy your parents. When you finish you will be free from it. You are doing great and you are on the correct road.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for reading my story. I was planning on seeking a counselor at school to see if they had any suggestions on financial aid. </p>
<p>I think you are doing great! Not sure why your Mother is using you as the punching bag. Maybe she is just stressed and unloads on you with the only thing that she can come up with is that you’re not paying rent. You’ve got everything else going for you. You should be very proud of yourself. As hard as it is, just stick out as much as you can.</p>
<p>Maybe study at the library. Spend less time at home. Or are you responsible for taking care of your younger siblings?</p>
<p>Thank you for your advice! No I’m not responsible for taking care of them especially since my brother and me grew up together we just turned out to be completely different as he is the trouble child. I feel like I’m the one who’s done everything she ever wanted me to do yet she still makes me feel guilty for things she’s done for me growing up and makes me feel as though I owe it back to her by letting my sister take whatever she wants from me. For example she was mad because she wanted me to do my sisters hair for a school dance and I told her I didn’t have time because I had to stay longer in school for an appt with my professor and then work right after. If I can’t do her favors such as that she gets mad, yet my brother is not responsible for anything, cleaning the house etc… This entire week she has not spoken to me because she feels I should apologize to her for not letting her get the last word in our arguement of why my sister shouldn’t wear my clothes. During the week she actually called me and woke me up to ask me to wake my sister up for school since her alarm didn’t go off, that being the only words she said to me all week. So now I feel as though I’m irrelevant in this house unless a favor is needed. </p>