<p>I am choosing between two amazing, wonderful Ivy league schools, both of which I could see myself attending. One is located a subway away from my home, and the other requires a ~4 hour drive. I would dorm at both, however, and so would enjoy being a part of the campus life at either. The school that is farther away seems to suit my needs and preferences--but I am afraid of living so far away. Now, I know that some students travel on 20 hour plane rides to come to college, and that for them, and for many other students, 4 hours seems like nothing. I never saw myself moving farther than an hours drive, though...this suprising opportunity has come as somewhat of a shock, and I wouldn't want the possibility of homesickness to deter me from the benefits of the school. BUT it might be even worse if I am severely homesick 200 miles away, and can't enjoy my college experience because of this. </p>
<p>I've never been away from home before, except for a 1 week camping trip when I was thirteen--and the entire time, I desperately wanted to go home. This was a while back and it was a cold, dreary forest setting...but my closest friends were there and I still wanted to return home. </p>
<p>I am confused. I don't want the possibility of severe homesickness to make my decision...but I don't want a wonderful opportunity to become a frightening burden as September approaches.</p>
<p>ADVICE anyone? I really can't express my concerns to my parents, because they will immedietly encourage me to stay nearby. But thats just the parental concern...so I need some outside opinions =)</p>
<p>Try the admitted students weekend as a practice run for the fall. I will bet that you will feel very differently as an excited would-be freshman meeting your potential classmates than you did as a homesick 13 year old stuck camping. Personally, I have desperately wanted to go home from every camping trip I've ever been on...and I'm in my 40s now, and I never had homesickness in college.
Do you have any kids from your school that are already students at the farther school? Try to arrange to meet them during the weekend and ask them what it's been like, how often they get home, what helped them to settle in.</p>
<p>If you are that prone to homesickness, the actual distance away won't affect you as much as the fact that you are living in a dorm away from home. Keep in mind that the homesickness will lessen dramatically as soon as you make new friends and get busy studying for your classes. And 4 hours isn't so far away that your family can't visit you on weekends.</p>
<p>I was <em>very</em> worried about being homesick when I went off to college, four hours from my home. I'd never been away to summer camp, I'd not travelled on my own, I'd really never gone <em>away</em> from my home like a lot of my classmates had.</p>
<p>I was homesick for a few months, but I still felt like I'd made the right choice. I was absolutely in love with my college from the first instant that I'd set foot on campus, and I made so many friends so quickly and was SO busy right from the get-go that it helped a ton.</p>
<p>Visiting the other campus would be a good idea. Living away from home is a great opportunity to figure out who you are and what you're all about. I'd say not to let homesickness make your decision... Four hours away is a pretty good distance. Good luck! =)</p>
<p>Since the distance is only about 4 hours I wouldn't worry about too much and being homesick.
I've been away from home quiet a few times, and in my experience you only tend to get homesick when you have nothing to do, so the best way to fight homesickness is getting busy.</p>
<p>Try to imagine yourself at either of those schools. What do you think where you'll enjoy college more? The school that suits you, but is a bit further away? Or the nearby school where you might spend all the time worrying if you wouldn't have been better of at the other school, although your home is nearby? </p>
<p>as an international, i didnt really think or worry about homesickness while applying to colleges. after a while, though, it really really kicked in. i would go to the close school.</p>
<p>Are you choosing between Columbia and Cornell/Dartmouth/Harvard/Brown?</p>
<p>Unless there is a compelling reason to go to the more distant school, I would choose the one that is closer. Why would you NOT choose the closer school?</p>
<p>I think you should ignore homesickness and make your decision based on much more important factors. It would be silly not to.</p>
<p>I was very homesick too, but a) home won't be the same without friends who are off at college, and b) you won't be able to spend the rest of your life constantly visiting your parents. College is part of growing up, and 4 hours really isn't that bad because you'll be able to go home for all your breaks, and even weekends if you really want (Ernie H., on the other hand, may not have that same benefit).</p>
<p>I'm choosing between Columbia (the closer one) and Harvard. Harvard seems to suit me more, academically and socially. It has a curriculum that I would be more excited about, and the flexibility of course selection that I am looking for. Still, I know I could appreciate what makes Columbia unique...I could really see myself at either schools. That's what makes this so much more difficult. Hopefully a revisit to each will help make things a bit more clear. Thanks so much for the advice--its great to hear a variety of perspectives =)</p>
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Why would you NOT choose the closer school?
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<p>Because, as the OP says, the other school is a better fit. </p>
<p>want2be, please do not let the possibility of homesickness deter you from going to the school you most want to go to. No one dies from homesickness! If you get it -- and that's a big if -- you'll recover from it, guaranteed.</p>
<p>I predict that a year from now if you go to the school that's farther away, you'll be wondering why on earth you ever thought of NOT going there and advising others to not let the possibility of homesickness stand in their way.</p>
<p>(Please don't take a camping trip as a 13-year-old be your guide for how you'll feel in college. Two completely different things!!)</p>
<p>It sounds like Harvard would be a really outstanding fit for you, so I think you'll end up leaning that way. Four hours may sound far, but it's totally doable. You could easily go home for weekends, and definitely for holidays. </p>
<p>At least it's not an expensive plane-ride away, like my school will be (southern california girl going to east coast). I might not be able to go home for some holidays, if the budget is tight.</p>
<p>Owlice...your message is truly moving...just the kind of encouragement I need! =) I think the worst thing that could happen is that I choose the closer school and spend the rest of my life wondering what if...? Then everything that ever goes wrong in college, I'll attempt to blame on my anxious fearful high school senior decision...lol...</p>
<p>ivana--your situation almost makes me sound ridiculous! thats quite a journey you have ahead of you...but it seems that your confidence with the choice, and if you are even willing to make some sacrifices along the way, than it can only be the right decision.</p>
<p>Four hours isn't really a big deal. That's close enough to home that you can still go home on certain weekends, provided that you have a ride. On the East Coast, it shouldn't be any problem catching a train, especially from Boston to NYC. </p>
<p>Where I live, there really aren't any good colleges within 2 hours, so it's very common to go to school 3-4 hours from home. More than that is usually considered a little crazy, but 3-4 hours isn't a great distance when your future depends on it. </p>
<p>Just decide which school is a better fit, and go with that one. In your situation, distance shouldn't be an important factor, unless you have family members in poor health or some other situation that might require that you come home more often.</p>
<p>If you go to school in Boston, you should realistically be able to come home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring break, and Easter. You might also be able to sneak in a few extra weekends if you have them free.</p>
<p>"...you won't be able to spend the rest of your life constantly visiting your parents. College is part of growing up..."</p>
<p>Many people choose to live near family because they enjoy doing so. Choosing to live near your family while attending college doesn't prevent you from growing up. Many people choose to go to school near family because being able to visit with family easily makes them happy.</p>
<p>My daughter went off to college two and a half hours from home but it was very isolated so it was not easy to get home. She called crying every night for two weeks then every other night and then once a week. She did adjust and got involved in campus activities and loved her college experience. As a parent my heart broke every time she called, but I knew she would get past it. Dont dismiss your fear of being away from home, but dont let it be the reason for your choice. By the way my daughter now has a masters degree and lives five minutes away with kids of her own. She will always know it was her choice to come back to her hometown, not that she was afraid to leave. Good luck to you.</p>
<p>Well, thanks, want2be! I've seen kids get homesick in different situations (summer camp, internships, etc.), and every time a kid has stuck it out -- it doesn't usually take long to get over homesickness -- the kid has been glad for it. Every single time. You really will be okay!</p>
<p>I am a believer in going away from home. It forces you to learn independence and makes those special weekends at home even better. You are obviously a talented student. I would go away and if you hate it, transfer. At least then you will know that you tried.</p>
<p>You will feel a sinking feeling when you see your parents driving away from Harvard the first time. But they won't be leaving you alone. You'll have roommates, classmates, and new friends in the clubs and organizations you'll join. You'll be busy, too. To your surprise, you won't want to go home the first weekend, because there will be an event everybody is going to. Same for the second and third weekend. The first thing you know, it will be Thanksgiving, and you'll go home and have a nice visit...but you'll be happy to get back to school.
Of course, this scenario doesn't apply to everybody, but it is quite common--probably the norm.</p>