<p>Hmmm, the OP says “the girlfriend wants to come.” What has the OP’s son said? Did HE ask to have the OP bring the girlfriend or is the girlfriend asking to “come along.” Huge difference. Secondly, the OP says this is 9 hours away, presumably there is some hotel situation involved.</p>
<p>I think the OP needs to talk to her son and find out what he wishes. If the son is gungho to have the GF there and there is a hotel room involved perhaps the OP needs to say to the girlfriend, “We’d be happy to bring you with us, but you’ll need to pay for your own room.” I don’t see any problem with being gracious but at the same time direct. These are young adults who are asking a “favor.”</p>
<p>I agree that 23 is too young to get married so the OP is entitled to his/her opinion on that one. I’d be saying the exact same thing to my 23 year old son I suspected he were getting to serious about a girl. The divorce rates is the highest in this country for young people married between 20 - 24.</p>