Shouldn't Getting Accepted Feel Good??

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of California - Los Angeles
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<p>My parents just got really upset with me and probably won't talk to me for a while now. They're angry because I invited them into my room to check my UCLA decision with me, and I got in... but I don't feel excited. In fact, I feel sort of depressed about it, partially because like 12 of my friends were also accepted and I am clearly more distinguished both academically and athletically/extracurricularly (if that were a word) than many of them. </p>

<p>My parents said I should be more grateful for the opportunity and that I should be happy because now I have another option (I got Regents to Berkeley last week). I'm also a little bit bummed because when I was a sophomore I really wanted to go to UCLA (that's changed now), but I had always pictured the decision announcement to be a big deal, and tonight didn't feel very climactic at all. </p>

<p>Is this a problem with my character - I mean, is it wrong that I'm not satisfied with my own achievements just because other people can do the same thing? Is it wrong to be dissatisfied with an acceptance to a very good school? Has anyone else felt indifference toward an acceptance like this?</p>

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<p>If that’s truly how you feel, then you should probably get off this forum and cry about it somewhere else. There are a bunch of students here who dreamed of this opportunity, who worked their asses off, just to get rejected today. People would kill to be in your position. </p>

<p>I don’t care about your feelings and whether or not you feel good about yourself. If you aren’t grateful for what you’ve earned, and if you’re gonna act all indifferent about getting this honor, don’t come in here and basically rub your acceptance, something that it seems you don’t even care for, in our faces.</p>

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<p>Depends on your motivation. Did you accomplish something you wanted to accomplish? If so, pride would probably be justified, regardless of whether others accomplished the same thing.</p>

<p>If you only judge your accomplishments relative to the accomplishments of others, you’re setting yourself up for failure. No matter where you end up, there are definitely going to be people that seem unqualified, but there are also going to be people that seem much smarter than you (and they just be someone that at first appeared unqualified).</p>

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<p>Pinkbunny: I am truly sorry if UCLA did not work out for you, if it’s where you really wanted to go. :frowning: I am not at all attempting to rub anything in anyone’s faces, and I apologize if my post came off so harshly. I’m just curious if anyone else has ever felt this way. If not… maybe being more grateful is something I should work on.</p>

<p>ThisCouldBeHeaven: Thanks for putting things in perspective. I don’t always pride myself in success relative to others, but I think college acceptances are a little different. I lost several good friends this year because they wanted to talk about their GPAs/SATs/other stats (which are extremely high) and their applications ALL the time, and I didn’t want our friendship to be so competitive (it was getting really ridiculous). Nonetheless, their high-stress-college attitude has somewhat rubbed off on me and here I am now, hoping for the best but confused as to why I don’t feel like UCLA fits that profile.</p>

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<p>It could be that your parents never had the sorts of opportunities you now clearly do have, so maybe that is influencing their reaction(s). It’s like the classic example of being upset at the way someone reacts (or rather doesn’t react) to receiving something, because you would have valued it lots more, and you can’t see why they don’t seem to, and aren’t grateful, and so on. </p>

<p>Sometimes such action is more justified I think, but sometimes not. Because sometimes being envious of the person that receives the thing can be harmful to them (maybe they actually would rather not have the thing - maybe the attention it brings them is uncomfortable for them). But the envious person will never understand that as long as they remain envious.</p>

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<p>Congrats on your acceptance. It is always good to have options. It sometimes happens that when OTHERS are very excited for us, it mutes our own excitement. I’ve noticed that this especially happens if there is some ambivalence about what we/you want. I’m sensing that for you.</p>

<p>Congrats also on your Regents for Berkeley. You have some nice options and the merit award will really help family finances. It will be useful having more resources available for other options, including possible grad school if you can use the merit award to reduce your ed costs.</p>

<p>HImom</p>

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<p>You’re fine. Do more research on UCLA and Berkeley and the other schools you are considering. It’s difficult to feel excited if all your concerned about is the name, now go for the specifics. I HIGHLY recommend taking tours. You’re in a position where any school you choose will be great academically for you, but now you need to decide which one you will be happy at. Take the tours, see which one gives you warm fuzzies: choose that school. Thats the relationship you want, thats the click you are looking for. If at any moment you say to yourself during the tour, “I totally belong here”, then go with your gut. If money isn’t too tight, don’t let the grants or relatives or parents dictate your decision. Your happiness is the most valuable investment so choose the right school for you, not for them. </p>

<p>These emotions aren’t tangible enough for a letter.</p>

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<p>stf,u fellow bruins</p>

<p>ya u shouldnt feel good…ucla isnt that great of a place…anyone who take 5 APs, gets above 2000 SAT and does a little bit of volunteer work is pretty much in</p>

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<p>Getting into a good school is merely a baby step in your life. Trust me. You shoudl reflect and celebrate for a day or two and then move on with your life. The bigger challenge is to graduate and then accomplish bigger and better things in life.
Congrats and Good luck!</p>

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<p>like kxc1961 said, this is only one step of the journey. IMO you SHOULD feel a little more grateful about your acceptance though, as other students would give an arm and a leg to go. please don’t discount UCLA since a bunch of your friends got in…making other people’s successes alter your life, let alone dictate where you’re going to spend the next 4 years is setting yourself up for failure. </p>

<p>with that said, UCLA is a good, huge school: assuming you plan to live in the dorms, its easy to make lots of friends in the halls and I know many people who don’t hang out with people from their HS here. </p>

<p>actually, I had a similar sort of situation, regents at CAL and a good scholarship (no regents) to LA. like sid3000 said, you should definitely visit both campuses and get a vibe. where you feel most happy is where you’ll do well. I could have been happy at CAL, but I ultimately choose LA since I liked the atmosphere better, and I don’t regret my decision one bit.</p>

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<p>Clearly this user is just a ■■■■■, only making other people who are rejected jealous. Do not feed the ■■■■■!!</p>

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<p>^ rude. I established above that I am not trying to be arrogant here.</p>

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<p>I agree about the ■■■■■. </p>

<p>If not really a ■■■■■, my advice:</p>

<p>Go meet the front bumper of a moving vehicle. </p>

<p>Have a nice day.</p>

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<p>Yeah, I feel indifference to being accepted to UCLA.
Because I got goddamn $0 in grants and a puny $5500 in loans. And last time I checked my parents can’t afford nearly $50k a year to put me through college.</p>

<p>I’m sorry if this feels “anti-climatic” to you. But at least you have the option of attending two amazing schools.</p>

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<p>Yes, you should work on feeling more grateful. Have you ever heard the saying “It is wise to have an attitude of gratitude.”? These are words to live by. As you grow up, you will encounter many challenges in your life. There are times when you can feel totally flattened by some of the difficulties that you will have to deal with. If you can remember to look at your life with gratitude, you will be a much happier person. We only live once. We have so much to be grateful for no matter the circumstances. You just got accepted to one of the best universities in the nation. You worked hard and your work paid off. It should be that way for everyone but sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes you work hard and it doesn’t pay off in the way you thought it would. For those that got rejected, something better may come along. They make look back in a few years and be grateful they didn’t get in to UCLA. My point is, feel happy and grateful for the opportunity that you have. Your parents just achieved a goal of their’s. They helped one of their children get into an excellent university. This is a proud moment for them. Thank them for all that they have done to help you. Celebrate with them. Be grateful that you have options and carry that attitude with you throughout your life.</p>

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<p>Are you honestly ****ing complaining about not feeling “good enough” about getting into UCLA? Wow, dude your a dick with 80% of applicants getting rejected, suck it up.</p>

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<p>meteman don’t get too worked up as I am 90% sure he is a ■■■■■ since he hasn’t posted anything back for awhile. </p>

<p>If he is sadly not a ■■■■■ I send the utmost sincere condolences to his parents for having to deal with a child such as Napster. His parents seem educated and sane enough as they said in the first post to “be more grateful” about his option. With an attitude like his, it wouldn’t matter if he went to Harvard or community college, he would still be as loser as they come. </p>

<p>(My response above is applicable only if he is not a ■■■■■. I sincerely do believe he is one though)</p>

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<p>I don’t think he was ■■■■■■■■, though I can’t figure out his point. He’s unhappy because he got into UCLA? Or he’s unhappy about not being that excited?</p>

<p>If you want to feel excited, go take a tour and walk around campus. I assume you realize by now that this thread was in poor taste, so I won’t restate that.</p>

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<p>Hm, I don’t think he’s a ■■■■■…and I don’t think he deserves the harsh responses he has received so far. </p>

<p>Napster, I agree that you should feel grateful for the amazing opportunities you’ve been given. I’m sure you -do- realize that you have at least two wonderful options for college, options that many seek out and cannot attain; additionally, you have worked hard and have -earned- these options, so you should feel both grateful and proud of your accomplishments. </p>

<p>However, you can’t force yourself to feel or react a certain way. When I first found out about my acceptances to UCLA and Berkeley, I -was- grateful and proud, but I too felt that the news was somehow anti-climactic and that I should have felt more excited than I did. I objectively knew that I should have felt more enthusiastic and that hearing of my acceptances should have been a huge moment, but for some reason, my feelings didn’t match what I thought I should have felt.</p>

<p>For me, it had nothing to do with being ungrateful for my opportunities, and I have a feeling you are going through what I did: you realize that you’re very lucky to have these two great schools accept you, and yet the experience of finding out didn’t match your high expectations of the moment itself. If this is the case, don’t beat yourself up about it. Your reaction may just be delayed, and oftentimes when we anticipate a moment in life so strongly (or feel that we should react a certain way to certain experiences), the actual moment ends up feeling less climactic than we had hoped. </p>

<p>Give it some time and definitely visit the campuses if you haven’t already. Explore the websites of both some more, talk to students, et cetera; hopefully at some point, something will strike you about one or both schools that makes you truly excited for going there. Don’t try to force yourself to feel a certain way just because you have built the scenario up in your mind, and you’ll probably find that you do feel excited, grateful, and proud eventually. </p>

<p>Good luck to you. :slight_smile: I hope you do recognize the exceptional opportunities you’ve been given, and I hope that you can feel all the emotions you wish when it’s the right time for you.</p>

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<p>Thank you to the “moms” on page 1 for the comments and insight. </p>

<p>Arcadefire, I am not unhappy about being accepted. You’re right though - I think I’m disappointed in myself that i don’t feel more surprised/happy about it.</p>

<p>Eiffel - I really appreciate your enthusiasm. I was truly thrilled about my acceptance to Berkeley - which was announced to me in person by a Berkeley Emeritus Chemistry Professor in my Regents interview. Perhaps I feel so much less enthusiastic about the online UCLA decision release because it was much quicker and much less personal. I think I’ll take your advice and visit the campus soon, though!</p>