<p>Does anyone else have problems with showing-off in essays? </p>
<p>I mean, I'm trying to hard to get my points off, but everytime I read it, it sounds very conceited. After all, the essay should at least somewhat answer the question "Why should I be accepted", right? So if I take it out, it seems like it will make my application look very weak, but if I take leave it in, it sounds like I am showing off. </p>
<p>How do you guys avoid this?</p>
<p>I'll agree its a pretty fine line between arrogant snob and college hopeful trying to sound worthy of XYZ university. Just talk less about the accomplishment, and more about what you learned, how you grew, why you are a better person etc. I don't think there is any easy answer. Just have someone else read it and see how you come across.</p>
<p>If the question is like "Why are you graduating early?", it is still possible to talk more about what I learned, how I grew, why I are a better person? And when you mentioned "better person", you meant what this experience taught me, not like why I'm a better candidate, right?</p>
<p>Well, what the experience taught you hopefully made you a better candidate. The key is show don't tell. They are all going to be smart people and will pick up on the fact it made you a better person.</p>
<p>But then, if I don't "list" accomplishments in essays, where else could I list them? Due to word limits, I couldn't really list them and explain them. If I don't put them on, I'd feel like I accomplished them for nothing...</p>
<p>try to write an essay that SHOWS the readers about you and your good quanlities, not TELLING them in the essay.
Showing them and let them think about what you have done and accomplished. Don't try hard and telling them what you did and accomplished.</p>
<p>stupid question, but what would be the difference between showing and telling?</p>
<p>You can show your good qualities by discussing their effects. How have others responded to your leadership, empathy, helpfulness, &c? What contribution have you made to your school or your community? Were others inspired by your accomplishments? Show yourself through the eyes of the people around you.</p>
<p>Another approach is to describe something that runs deeper than your accomplishments -- your personal philosophy and values, or the common theme that unites them -- and then just use the accomplishments to illustrate the deeper points.</p>
<p>Either of these approaches will give them a glimpse of who you are and what kind of contribution you're likely to make. That's much more useful information to them than a laundry list of stuff you've done and awards you've received.</p>