Shy person trying to change

<p>Hey guys, I just got into college 3 weeks ago and am living on campus. I've been a rather socially awkward person through most of high school and only just started getting rid of it into my senior year, but now in this new environment it's coming back. I tried leaving the dorm room door open in hopes people would stop by, but only had one person come in and say hi, but I was silly and didn't try and go talk to others myself during the first week and now most doors on the floor remain shut. I've had a little success with my classes but I definitely want to see if I can get anything going with the floor. My roommate is even quieter than me, and often closes the door when I try to leave it open for others. </p>

<p>What should I do?</p>

<p>Have you tried talking to your roommate, saying you’d like to leave the door open so others feel welcome to stop in? If he is studying, sleeping, changing clothes, etc., then you probably do need to shut it. But you could ask at other times if it is okay to leave it open. And not all the time… but a few times a week for an hour or so.</p>

<p>He’s usually just browsing casually on his laptop</p>

<p>I think having a roommate who is also an introvert themselves also causes it to be difficult to make friends. I always see people hanging out with their roommates with other people who are also roommates. It sucks because I get along with my roommate very well but she is barely here. I’m sure if she was here more often then we would be closer friends.</p>

<p>I am also very shy and when I first got to college had a difficult time making friends. Don’t fret yet, you will make friends and chances are those people will be your close friends all four years. For me, my shyness went away as I matured through college. In a way college forces you to become more outgoing. </p>

<p>Yeah I’m in the same boat. I have one roommate who is constantly gone so it’s hard to connect with her. I had a roommate in my room until yesterday (decided to go to a CC) and now it’s just me in my room. I go to a commuter school so it’s kind of hard to interact with a lot of students because they go to school then go home/work. You can try to go to some sort of club if you have time and if you’re into that kind of thing.</p>

<p>Maybe you can get your roommate involved in making friends too? Tell him you haven’t really met the floor yet and see if he’d like to come with and say hi to the neighbors. Start at one end of the hall, knock on the door, see if anyone’s home. Say hi, introduce yourselves, laugh and say you forgot to meet your floor last week.</p>

<p>My floor last year was really late on the meeting people thing. One of my roommates wanted to meet the floor… by the end of the hall, we had a dozen more people going door to door with us saying hello. Some rooms were already friends with each other, but it didn’t stop them from wanting to make more friends as well. Anyways, sometimes meeting the floor is super cool and you make lots of friends, sometimes it doesn’t go anywhere, but I think it’s worth a try.</p>

<p>Otherwise, try joining some clubs, say hi to your classmates, the usual things. Lots of students have trouble making friends, it’s hard being new somewhere. Pretend to be braver than you are, it’s terrifying but sometimes it works out. :)</p>

<p>Do something odd but friendly. Our floor knows each other well but we realized we were staying in our small group. So, we got a light saber, went down a floor, and knocked on every door. Was a fun time, a bit awkward but it was funny and good for everyone.</p>

<p>Edit: Right after typing this i just saw what @failure622‌ put, so yeah basically that.</p>

<p>Well I tried to go around the floor with my roommate, but he sort of shrugged off the idea, and that sort of discouraged me as well from doing much.</p>

<p>Is there any common area you can hang out? Why not just be in the common area watching TV, watch others play table tennis, or just be there with your laptop. People will notice you and hopefully you or someone will break the ice on some interesting topic. If your roommate is not willing to keep the door open, you have to get yourself out into the open!</p>

<p>Join a club or two. Talk to people everywhere-dont worry it takes time. For now work on finding one solid friend-the rest will come much easier after you have one.</p>

<p>So I was exactly what you described all throughout high school. When I got. To college I decided I was going to FORCE myself to talk to people and be open. I switched roommates (I had a roommate like yours. She refused to leave our room, had no friends, complained to her bf on the phone constantly about how much she hated it here.) I joined clubs and forced myself to talk to people in class, and even signed up for a ‘fun’ class (elective you’re interested in), joined a study group, and even rushed a sorority. It’s like starting a good habit, it takes constant effort for a period of time before it becomes natural and you see the results.</p>

<p>What HiToWaMom said! Go to any common area and just hang out. I met my close friends from college (and boyfriend of 4 years) hanging out in the rec center. A random guy asked me to play ping pong with him (my boyfriend’s best friend) and I did. We ended up making plans to hang out later that evening and everyone had a good time and I had a new great group of friends. </p>

<p>Leil Lowndes–“How To Talk to Anyone”. Get the book. I can attest to how great it is–it’ll help you break the ice in most any situation and make you MUCH more comfortable conversing with your newly met friends. </p>

<p>Does your floor have a kitchen? Can you cook spaghettt?i , chocolate chip cookies? Buy some and hand them out (got too many to eat myself–want one or six?)</p>

<p>Got games? the old fashioned kind–Monopoly, Risk? New shorter card games that can entice people to play? Group games are great (we need 6 people–go round them up!) Like to play pool or bowl? go hangout at gym/rec area and get a game going.</p>

<p>Halloween is coming soon–floor party planned?</p>

<p>Don’t rely on your roommate to go with you. </p>

<p>KNOW that people are WAITING to be brought together–most people are shy by nature. You seem to be willing to put yourself out there in a great way and it will be appreciated. Having a sort of plan (food,games, event planning) will give a focus.</p>

<p>Join a club, church group, team.</p>

<p>Study groups. Form one if appropriate.</p>