Shyness/ public speaking troubles...

<p>Hey, I have no trouble speaking with people one on one or in a small group. However, when I give like a presentation or work with people I don't know too well I sometimes stutter, mumble, or say something I don't wanna say, especially on a day when I'm down. Is this psychological? Any tips?</p>

<p>Had this problem until sixth or seventh grade until I realized that no one cared - or even remembered, by the time the class ended. Just remember that your classmates are just your classmates, and you're watching them, too, so everyone's in the same situation. Good luck :)</p>

<p>Yep, just think about how you feel when others are speaking. You listen, they finish talking, you forget about it pretty quickly. I apply the same thing to when I embarrass myself - if someone else embarrasses themselves, after a few minutes, you forget about it, but they're probably thinking about it the rest of the day...</p>

<p>Yeah like if you really knew them well, and mumbled or something, they'd make fun of you, but only cuz they are your true friends..you know..like its sorta hard to expalin, but your friend will laugh at you if you're down, like to try to make you feel better or somethign..like I know a jerk will laugh too, but its in a mean way, your friend will laugh but try to help too, and then soon you'll laugh and everyone's happy :)
But yeah, it's pretty common, it just takes some practice, there are also some classes that will help you with these sort of issues, like "Theater"..but basically try not to be "afraid" of them or what they think, like pretend its just only your teacher or your really good buds</p>

<p>When you speak to a large group, focus on one and only one person at a time in the group. Look at that one person's nose, eyes, forehead, whatever seems best to you. Then, after a little while, move your focus to a different person in the group, preferably in a different part of the room. </p>

<p>In this manner, you minimize stress and confusion because you feel as if you are talking to one person at a time. Yet, by switching periodically from person to person, you create a sense of including the entire group as your audience.</p>

<p>^But what if that person gets nervous? lol. My english/theater teacher told us last year just to try to focus on certain points in the room, not necessarily students.. if i look at my friend during a presentation, they smile, and i smile, and .. it's really bad, i try not to look at people, but rather the teacher's eyes who's usually in the back of the room, or focus at different points in the room</p>

<p>I don't recommend focusing on parts of the room because it makes the speaker appear detached from, and uninterested in, the audience and therefore makes for a less effective presentation, IMO.</p>

<p>I also don't recommend lookly solely at the teacher, or at any specific person, because that gives the impression that the speaker is addressing only that person.</p>

<p>To deal with the problem of your friends: you have IMO two choices. First, you can just refuse to look at those specific people who interrupt your concentration. That still leaves the rest of the audience. Or--and this is why I spoke of choosing where on the person to look--you can focus on parts of the head that do not typically communicate. If you train yourself to look solely and specifically at someone's forehead, say, or nose, or chin, or ears, or hair, you will ignore their mouth or eyes and therefore not receive any potentially disruptive communication from them.</p>

<p>Public speaking is an extremely common fear and it is normal to stutter, mumble, etc. When I speak in front of my class or whatever, I'm not nervous but I start shaking...not just my hands, but my whole body. It looks like I'm having a mini seizure...</p>

<p>Does anyone know that feeling where you're not really afraid of public speaking, but as soon as you go up, you lose your breath, and gasp your way through the speech? My friends say they don't notice me doing it, but I'd really rather not have to spend my entire time infront of everyone trying to get some air.</p>

<p>exactly. Anyone have a follow up to that?</p>

<p>BTW, thanks for responding to the post. I'll def. look into the tips and try it out.</p>

<p>I had that same problem too. I feel a little nervous right before but nothing too bad, and then as soon as I begin to hear my voice by itself in the room and realize everyone is watching me I start sounding really shaky. I second the idea of theater classes, though, or pretty much any performance-oriented area, such as music or something. I've found that after joining drama club at school and getting a small part in the play, it at least builds confidence. I actually became excited to 'practice' my public speaking in class, and it's easy to figure "hey, if i can memorize the lines of a character, I can certainly give a presentation with the words in my hand!" :) Plus, I discovered I enjoy acting a lot so I'm hoping to major in theater or musical theater next year. You never know!</p>

<p>My opinion, and experience, is that the techniques I suggest can help to address that problem. I have experienced the type of terror you are describing. But, by limiting the bombardment of sensory stimuli, one can more readily remain calm. Then one's knowledge and preparation can take over.</p>

<p>Of course, one must actually be prepared to give the talk! There is no way I know of to avoid nervousness if one is unprepared and therefore has little or nothing meaningful or useful to say.</p>

<p>Which reminds me: another thing I learned is to speak from a small number of bullet point notes, on one or two note cards, rather than from a text or large amount of notes. The text and mountain of notes also provide excessive sensory stimuli and will tend to be confusing and therefore upsetting. The bullet points, however, are minimal stimuli; they merely remind one of what one already knows well and intends to say. Assuming, again, that one does in fact know something well.</p>

<p>I had a problem with shyness back in grade school. I would never talk, because I had this phobia of saying the wrong answer, and when I got the wrong answer, tears would start filling up my eyes (I don't know what was wrong with me, I think I was being too hard on myself). Anyway, all of that stopped by the time fourth grade came, and I think what got me over this was the fact that there were other people who felt shy and embarrassed when they had to go up, so I didn't feel alone anymore. Now, when I go up, I sometimes have a dry throat and I guess I have some kind of air problem (not the kind that was discussed) where my breathing is irregular. But it's only a minor problem and it doesn't happen very often.</p>