I’ve read a lot of advice on this site and on many other websites that students should use descriptive language in essays to make them interesting so their readers can establish an emotional and more personal connection with their writing. I completely understand where this advice is coming from, at least superficially.
However, I don’t understand how this type of writing would be the best way to get your point across, especially when the word count is limited. Isn’t the point of a college essay to convey something about yourself that AO’s don’t already know? Wouldn’t wasting 150 words to describe a setting fail to do that? Couldn’t all this be better accomplished by using more simple, more palatable language rather than trying to impress readers with your ample vocabulary and over-the-top use of imagery?
I’ve read so many essays that sound like a thesaurus threw up. And they simply strike me as pretentious.
I think the point of these essays is to show who you are. I think they should read as though you’re having a conversation with someone-- using typical, everyday words.
Write it, let two trusted people to review it and get some comment. The information on the internet maybe distracting on your shoes. You should not consider all facters, the best essay should be base on you, not on others.
You can use descriptive language without describing something endlessly. I think that’s the point people are trying to make. You can use descriptive language AND short clear to-the-point language. In fact that’s better than flowery description and it brings your writing to life.
By using strong verbs, all five senses, and carefully chosen details, your writing comes alive and doesn’t waste words.
You’re showing not telling.
For example:
Example A: Last year was the worst year of my life. It wasn’t bad enough that I got a bad grade in Algebra, but I also had a major car accident to overcome. Fortunately the time I spent in the hospital allowed me to turn my grade around.
Example B: The car came out of nowhere. Tossing my phone into the backseat before driving, hadn’t protected me. Tapping my brakes on the dark, icy road hadn’t either. The flash of the car’s red paint and the grating of metal on metal, the smell of rubber on fire, that’s what played in my mind every time I closed my eyes in the hospital.
And so on, about studying when you’re injured and have invasive images of a horrible car accident or whatever.
In example B the “major car accident” is brought to life. Your reader can relate to you because they can see and feel and smell the experience.
In this essay you could then stop “showing” and start “telling” about the algebra studying you did in the hospital. But the point is that the sharp images, sights and smells are what makes Example B memorable while Essay A is forgettable. If carefully done, you won’t waste words.
Write it first without worrying about length. Just write. Then go back and get rid of every singe extra word. Do this over and over and you will have a taut, well-crafted, engaging essay.