<p>What factors contributed to your decision to choose one over the other.</p>
<p>As a parent who attended a catholic all girls school, I see the benefits of one sex schools for certain kids. </p>
<p>As a parent we explored both types of schools. Initially, my d was totally against all-girls schools. I decided to insist that she apply to at least one. Upon our visit, my d fell in love with Miss Porters. She realized it wasnt what she thought it was, and could have easily found her self fitting in and enjoying all it had to offer. </p>
<p>The other schools she applied to were co-ed, there are so many more of them. We found that Deerfield was just a perfect fit for her, and when they felt the same way that was the school that she selected. </p>
<p>Even after completing her 1st year at DA she still speaks fondly of MPS.</p>
<p>In contrast, one of the colleges on her short list is Smith, (a woman’s college). Her attitude has drastically changed. I believe that she has come to realize that boys exist everywhere and the idea of “fit” and especially “comfort” should always be at the top of any student’s choice.</p>
<p>I imagine and hope there will be many positive advocates for single sex schools, here’s a bit of a dissenting opinion, based only on my experience. I know it’s dangerous to post anything other than a cheerleading opinion in these parts for risk of hurt feelings.</p>
<p>When I first started as a teacher, I taught at an all-boys school for several years. There was a lot about it that I liked, and obviously, the constant focus on sports is very good for boys who live and die for athletics. I didn’t live on dorm, but I heard reports from kids of physical bullying and hazing going on, and everytime I reported what I heard, I got a “you don’t understand these kinds of boys” lecture. I was young so I didn’t push. I was closer with a large number of day students (they were on the higher achieving academic end, and in my classes in greater numbers), and they liked the school as an alternative to the dismal public school option, but they were also pretty indifferent to the place, and said they were happy to escape the “bro culture” each night.</p>
<p>Ultimately, I grew really tired of all the language about how girls were “a distraction,” and that if you went to school with your girlfriend, “she’d want to monopolize your time so you couldn’t study or hang with the boys as much.” The langugage reflected by too many of the teachers, coaches, students and administrators reinforced this notion of girls as distracting pretty objects who just want to land husbands. It was all said in joking good fun, I guess, but I thought it was gross, and it was in direct conflict with my understanding of young women. The version of masculinity that was held up was a very specific narrow one, and even the straight married faculty who didn’t fit the parameters were ostracized a little bit. No one ever mentioned the existence of homosexuality (I don’t count the constant, non-stop gay bashing) and it’s the only school I’ve ever taught at where no student ever came out to me.</p>
<p>Weirdly enough, I’ve seen much more positive outcomes from girls’ schools, albeit from a distance. But I’ve known faculty kids who went off to Miss Halls and Emma Willard and Westover who spoke glowingly of their experience (and they tended to talk a lot about their positive classroom experience.) They returned happier and more confident that I’d ever seen them before. What I don’t know is what are the informal messages that get repeated to the girls at these schools, because I’ve never been on faculty at one.</p>
<p>My thoughts on this are always evolving, and I do not claim to speak for all all-boys schools, nor for everyone’s experience. I taught there almost 15 years ago. I think these schools are worth looking into because for the right kid, they can be life-changing. But it’s always worth trying to get at what the school is saying or implying about the missing gender.</p>
<p>@Albion, Thanks for sharing. My son just transferred from an all boy school. Although many boys do thrive at these schools we also grew tired of the “boys will be boys” excuse for poor behavior.
I’d also like to add that single sex schools that are more competitive to gain entrance to tend to have a more mature student body. Just my insight on what we’ve experienced.</p>
<p>I attended an all girls high school and loved it. I feel that I developed a stronger sense of self because I didn’t worry about how I was perceived by boys. </p>
<p>I wanted my youngest daughter to have the same opportunity, but there was not an option for that in our town so she attended an all girls boarding school.</p>
<p>It was an awesome experience. She made wonderful friends and grew so much as a person. I feel that she will be better prepared for college than my other children who attended a private coed school. Not just academically, but I think that she will know more of who she wants to be and not be as vulnerable to pressure that freshman year entails.</p>
<p>We shall see…</p>
<p>Albion-</p>
<p>I had to laugh when I read your post! Sounds like you were teaching at my boy’s BS! I just heard about the “bro culture” the other day. Almost everything you posted has been a topic of conversation at our dinner table since they got home for the summer.</p>
<p>I had two kids at this school last year and will probably only have one this coming year. It just wasn’t a good fit for the freshman. He would love to go back as a day student but just hated the night time antics of the “bros”. Since we live 18 plus hours away he will most likely be back at the local public school. He also felt that the school put too much emphasis on athletics. And the only diversity was nationality.</p>
<p>The eldest S seems able to let all of these complaints slide right off his back. Not so with the younger guy. </p>
<p>While I still feel strongly that the single sex education can be wonderful for some kids, it is clearly not for everyone. I do believe that it is just like choosing a coed BS, you have to find the right fit for each child. Unfortunately in the case of my second S we missed the mark. Live and learn!</p>
<p>This topic is a can of worms. There is so much that can be said and a lot that can taken out of context. Scotland45 simplified it pretty well with respect to fit. IMO some or many of the schools still struggle with a double standard which sometimes works in reverse for political correctness. I’ve seen foreign nationals have a very difficult time with regards to cultural differences (to the point of expulsion) in respecting the rights women. I’ve witnessed boys come from an all boys schools since day one and go from one extreme to the other in learning to deal with girls. In that I mean they are not themselves around girls (a life long male dilemma) from being incredibly shy to thoughtless acts of machismo. IMO, boys coming from the public schools have an advantage as they have always been integrated with girls and I guess the same goes vice versa. All this brings on the question of maturity and lack thereof. Whether it be single or coed, in the end you want a mature young person ready to meet the numerous challenges they all encounter in college and not necessarily academically.</p>
<p>Agree that this topic can be a land mine. I will give my honest opinion based on what I have seen and experienced. It is just my personal slice of experience. My daughter just graduated from a single sex girls boarding school. The single sex aspect was absolutely perfect for her and that was true for the majority of her classmates. Some girls transferred out becasue they missed having boys in class but her school prided itself on supporting young women to do their personal best and become strong in themselves. These young women are outspoken, confident, successful, responsible, grounded. They are generally not going to all women’s colleges but they agree that although they sometimes missed having boys around, they loved their single sex environment. My daughter told me recently that if she had gone to the public high school (considered the best in one of the best public school systems in the country), she would have been a much different person and not in the good way. Many, not all, of the boys who go to single sex schools in our area are very misogynistic, non respectful of young women, the whole lax bro culture to the max extreme. These girls were sought after as dates for proms, homecoming, etc but they preferred to go with local public school guys than those from the boys schools. Most of their boyfriends came from the public schools rather than the boys schools because of the attitudes.</p>
<p>I attended an all boys middle school for four years. There are some pros and cons to attending an all boys school, but I think that it really all comes down to “fit.” For me, I think all boys school was okay for middle school, but a definite no-no in high school. </p>
<p>All boys school can be good in middle school because not being around girls every day takes pressure off kids. They don’t have anyone to “impress” or “look cool” for;it’s much more relaxed. </p>
<p>However, this can also be a bad thing. It’s good that in an all boys middle school, kids don’t take themselves as seriously, but it can also cause them to screw around too much, making learning impossible. It really just depends on the individual, and the school.</p>