I think one size does not fit all. My S found the 600+ student lectures not helpful. He even confided he would listen to to the lecture pod-cast while playing FIFA. I’m not thrilled about his approach, but he’s doing well in his classes. In fairness, he would likely be the one asleep during a lecture, so for him, having a mindless distraction helps while he’s watching/listening to the pod-cast. D also needed a different approach to some her classes that would have 1000+ students where attendance was not required.
@compmom, similar experience with our son. He didn’t share until later that he’d missed a lot of classes because it was too much of a struggle to attend. 
I still have dreams in which I’ve skipped all the classes in one subject and still have to take the final exam! I wish those would go away, but after 30 years I guess they won’t.
^Now that I teach, I have those dreams from a teacher perspective! As the semester nears I typically have dreams where I’m trying to make an exam for a course I didn’t teach in a subject I know nothing about and the questions have nothing to do with anything or are weird exercises like having to color pictures of frogs or something.
Going to college is the next step on their journey to independence…you give them the tools, and hope they make the right choices. But I did review their grades at the end of the semester…that will show you if they are doing what they need to or not.
Just like when my kids were little and they had spelling tests…I let them study however they wanted and if they did well I left them to it, but if they didn’t I would get involved and help them do it in a more organized way.
None of your business. You won’t know.
btw- my son was still 16, therefore a minor, when he started college away from home. His U’s contract was with him, not us. We were not privy to info about him, including grades, without his written permission. He wanted to take his classes and went because of that as well as the need to do so to do well. He volunteered his freshman grades but not so much after that. Must have done okay because he had the requisite honors courses and gradepoint for an honors degree. We do know about that C in an advanced math course ( I have a C in a course for my chemistry major eons ago and still got the honors degree- what a quiet across town home for winter break when I told my dad about it).
So, relax about things. Your kid needs his/her motivation from within at this stage, not because parents will find out. S/he will find out very soon if attendance matters- that first assignment or quiz where in class info meant something.
It never occurred to me to worry about this. My daughter, who just graduated summa cum laude, never mentioned it. My son, who just finished his sophomore year, will sometimes message me or his dad and ask if we think he has a legit reason for skipping a lecture. Honestly, we worry more that he still asks us for permission than that he wants to skip something
I recently read an article mentioning these days even if students do attend class many of them are distracted so the important thing is to be mentally present. Listening to music, texting, checking out facebook, watching porn, sleeping, checking email, shopping, doing homework for another class, or doing job searches are going to distract from actually focusing on the lectures and taking notes or asking questions. (these were mentioned in an article that I’m not able to find)
I definitely recommend incoming freshman to develop the habit of attending classes and take the time to transition to college work. Many of them did minimal work in high school and had excellent grades but college academics is different. Till they have a good grasp of how to manage their course load and perform well I would try not to miss classes unless absolutely necessary.
Student’s perspective: If one wants to get good grades it’s much less effort to go to class than to try and catch up on your own. That being said, if I have a reason for skipping class (or I sleep in and miss it (yikes!)) I will do my best to figure out what I missed, make sure my assignments are in on time (email, etc.) and study on my own. Because I live at home my parents know if I’m going to class or not but as long as I get good grades they give me the freedom to make my own decisions.
One of the benefits of small LACs is small classes. The vast majority of my kids’ classes have been between 6-24 students. I know they miss once or twice a semester at most - often due to feeling poorly or bogged down with work from another commitment. Any more than that and it does start to affect one’s grades as class participation and dialogue is important. These aren’t lecture classes.
Me pay your tuition = Me see your grades in our house
I have a friends whose son wanted to skip an extra day of classes before Thanksgiving break. She took the total tuition cost and calculated the cost of those classes he would miss that day and told him no way - she wanted her money’s worth.
I just graduated in May. As far as attending class-- I’m not sure your grades will suffer by not attending classes is a fair assessment. I would say your grades COULD suffer based on material and attendance policy. Many classes in college do not require attendance every day as the information is available from other more efficient sources. I’m just saying religiously attending a class because its there (or your parents think you should) is not always the best or most efficient use of your time. I’m sure your daughter will attend all her classes all the the time, but if the information can be obtained from a video lecture or book more quickly and concisely she could be wasting her most precious resource in college, which is time. (Actually your most precious resource is your IQ but that is another discussion)
As to parents paying for you to attend classes. I know for a fact that my parents only care about the grades and the degree. How many classes I skipped was not even remotely ever discussed one single time in 4 years. I doubt my attendance ever crossed there minds. Only the GPA and the degree matter.
“I have a friends whose son wanted to skip an extra day of classes before Thanksgiving break. She took the total tuition cost and calculated the cost of those classes he would miss that day and told him no way - she wanted her money’s worth.”
That’s the most flawed concept I have ever heard. A college degree is not about class attendance and that is not what she is paying for. She is paying for grades which equal credits which equal a degree. If you can miss a classes without consequence the day before Thanksgiving by all means go home. Now if you have a test, presentation or some other reason you need to go, then go to class. But going because your mom thinks she paid for the individual class is just silly. She is paying for the grade not individual class attendence.
I have to wholeheartedly agree with everything you, @2017girl , say. The only thing I would add is that you are also paying to acquire the knowledge and/or skill, not just the grade and degree. While often, maybe most often, knowledge and skill translates to the grade, it doesn’t always. I want my kids to get the grades, the knowledge, the skills. If they’re doing that - however - then I don’t care if they go to class. I’ll also add that it is a real skill to know how to do that. I imagine, unless someone had a lot of freedom in high school, and already learned how to do it just right, people should go to class pretty much all the time in earlier college years until they see how they can judiciously miss without it affecting their goals.
@2017girl , I don’t care about the classes. But missing lectures makes it hard to do well, and that’s what I care about. As far as I am aware, her school doesn’t do video lectures. My kid just completed her first year. I am sure she will miss a lecture at some point. I am paying for college, so I care that she passes classes, therefore I care that she attends lectures as regularly as possible. Not sure why you need to comment on that. I would love to hear from a professor who thinks that attending lectures is a waste of student time.
@jesse’sgirl
No arguments from me on your post. Interestingly, your post brings into question “Does the test/grade
guarantee mastery of the skill being sought”. I actually don’t know the answer (I suspect it is “it depends”) but I had a technical degree that many skills were never tested despite being needed for future class material or employment. It was definitely a consideration when skipping a class. I admittedly sat through many classes learning skills that had no impact on my grade for that class. It is just one of the many considerations when you evaluate the merits of skipping a class. I would never say to skip classes without understanding the current and future ramifications.
Your pretty insightful, I definitely had a lot of freedom in high school and college. Great supportive parents with lots of guidance but they definitely believe in letting you make your own choices and then living with the consequences. Lots of late night pro/con and what if talks with my Dad. But they always ended with its your choice and I love you.
We actually agree on the subject based on your most recent post. If you can get the grade without attending class all is good if you cant then go to class. Missing lectures may or may not make it hard to do well, it totally depends on the class and material being presented as well as the student.
As far as the professor caring if you attend his lecture, 3/4 of the professors in my department loathed giving lectures (required part of the job) and would have much preferred to assign work electronically and address questions during office hours or with one of the TAs. In fact, I would argue that visiting a professor during office hours with a real question or not is actually way more valuable than attending all the lectures. I would estimate that having a professor know your face through office hours is worth on average .5 of a grade point.
@2017girl , this is very dependent on the kind of college you attend. My kid goes to a LAC. She knows her profs, they know her. They know if kids don’t come to lectures. You are perhaps over-generalizing that all,profs hate their jobs.
@Lindagaf, agree that LAC classes of 8-16 students require participation in order for the group to perform as intended. One of my twins had a two-period English & History AP Senior Seminar, totaling 12 students, in her last year of HS that required her to participate/speak up to do well, no longer could she just smart her way through it - it was a great real world environment.
My daughter’s experience was that attending class was critical. It was the best way to understand the material and what the professor considered important. Lot’s of stuff on tests were from lectures (not just books and online resources.) Many of her classes included some aspect of participation in the grading. This might be because of her major (econ and math) and the type of classes she took (mostly small number of students not big lecture hall classes.)
Also, college servees many purposes (not just grades - although a degree is the end goal) - gaining skills, learning how to think, managing your time, learning to prioritize, broadening your horizons by making contacts and interacting with different types of people, etc. All those little things that add up to being mature, independent, and responsible.