So this is going to sound extremely dumb and childish, but I’m going to pursue a long distance relationship while at college. He currently lives six hours away. I’m not quite scared that we’ll split or anything, just because that we are each other’s best friends and have spent the past summer together and have lived together but kept our distance as well with jobs, friends, etc. Which was great, it proved us to be a strong couple who knew boundaries to keep us strong. But the problem is that I have been sleeping with him every night, not sex but actual sleep, and I find it hard to fall asleep without him. And I’ve been silently freaking out about this. I just want some advice about how to either get through that of just sleep better in general in college. Thank you!
Hey,
First, it doesn’t sound childish at all. I have no intention of telling you to drop it with that little context, and I completely empathize with how you are feeling. I will admit that you sound a little overly attached, but since I have the exact same problem I am in no position to judge that. Basically what I’m saying is, I really do feel for you.
Are you on campus yet? If not, I recommend you sit down and have a talk with your boyfriend. Talk about how you’re feeling and find a way to strategize to wean yourself off him, so to speak, while you’re still home. I think that if he’s really understanding, he’ll be able to help you better than anyone here can.
I’m sure they’ll be an adjustment period initially but humans are amazing at adjusting. Try not to dwell on it or overthink it and deal with it as it comes.
You will adjust. Right now you are probably having all kinds of transition jitters. Maybe a fluffy teddy bear or something might help too.
Believe me, while it’s great to sleep next to someone, doing so in a twin sized bed gets old.
How about one of those body pillows? I think they are about 4 ft long. If your bed is next to the wall, you can push the pillow next to the wall during the day. It might help keep things from falling between the bed and wall, too.
If he wears a particular cologne/after shave, you could spritz that on another pillow case and put it next to your head. I would say not on your pillowcase to give you options for placement.
Also having some bedtime routines would be helpful: like light reading, doing a puzzle, writing in a journal, meditation, coloring (new mosaics), sipping calming teas (chamomile etc).
Get a small teddy bear. Have him rub it in his armpits. Keep it nearby. You may think I’m silly, but I’m dead serious.