Slightly regretting my Ivy ED acceptance... will this feeling pass?

College Search & Selection
1

<p>I'm wondering if how I'm feeling right now might just be the cause of other stresses right now, or if others have felt this way before me but then gone on to amazing college experiences. It's not just that I don't feel excited anymore, but that I catch myself daydreaming about going to schools that are so drastically different, and that aren't even schools that one would picture a top student from my area attending, unless there was some sort of huge financial problem. This post might end up being really long but I just want to get how I feel out in words somewhere.</p>

<p>I applied early and was accepted (to my giddy, screaming, hugging-all-my-friends self's surprise) to a school that's in a city where I have a lot of relatives nearby, one of my relatives is even working there next year; has the programs I want and leaves plenty of room for me to explore all of my interests; has an actual campus while being in a city unlike NYU; is where my dad and a few other relative went so my family is very excited/proud; and of course boasts stellar academics and reputation. When I applied, I was thinking about how wonderful it would feel to get in but was pretty sure that I wouldn't get in, so I could hardly picture myself there. My list included extremely similar institutions: medium, in a city, whatever.</p>

<p>Before I was accepted and before I had even applied, I had this habit of reading up on schools that I knew I would probably never actually attend--I go to a small private school in an area so affluent and "elite" that pretty much every kid at the public school goes to a top-40-ish school... it's ridiculous. Pressure has always been particularly high at my school because my school just prides itself so much on where it gets students accepted, and the list is sent out in this ritual fashion etc.</p>

<p>I've always been very self-conscious and quiet, and slightly awkward, which I've been given a hard time about by a lot of girls at my school... but I've always comforted myself in the fact that I have an interesting mind that I can travel places with. But sometimes I would get so insecure about my academic record because my grades and scores never matched my perfect older sister's scores, or those of other smart girls in my grade for that matter, and my sister/those girls were always so much more outgoing, self-accepting, and happy seeming to me. It felt so useless to be such a wreck emotionally and socially if I didn't even have some special academic talent, or any claim to being smart. Long story short, getting into the Ivy would help me feel a little more secure about who I am... I see what's wrong with this, but keep in mind that my confidence has never been anywhere healthy.</p>

<p>So now I'm into this school, which made me feel so, so on top of the world for a while, but I've found that I'm jealous of my friends attending UGA, UW-Madison, UF, South Carolina... for some reason I am so drawn to these larger, more down-to-earth (as opposed to my ranking-topper Ivy), and less "intense" where I could recoup, relax, and have more space to re-define myself, while still testing out all of my interests and possibly being a stand-out in an honors college. Getting away from the prestige-chasing culture of my area also appeals to me, as does abandoning the unhealthy desire I had to feel better about myself simply by placing the dream reach school's bumper sticker on my car, even though the school did appeal to me initially.</p>

<p>I don't know where I'm trying to take this... I used to be so in love with this school. Where did that go? Is it normal to stop being excited about attending your school? I try to quit my guilty pleasure of surfing the websites and reviews of schools that I mentioned in the last paragraph but it just fulfills something in me that would totally confuse my family, friends, and school (WHAT? That smart girl is going to the University of... Georgia?). I try to get myself excited about the Ivy, and sometimes succeed, but when it comes down to it, the school is full of people just like people from my town and it's in a bustling city and I just keep secretly wishing that I could go somewhere totally different and just BE.</p>

<p>Any words of guidance? Of course I'm going to attend the Ivy next year... I can't bail, clearly, and I might love it which would bring my current situation (friction with my town/school that's making me so unhappy) to peace, which would be amazing. I don't know. :-S</p>

<p>Also, have any of you ever had a similar struggle?</p>

<p>P.S. If you just had to know, the school I ED'd was Penn.</p>

2

<p>I don't think your reaction is unnatural. Go to Penn (obviously), and if you love it, stay there, but if you hate it, you can transfer somewhere else.</p>

3

<p>You have cold feet. You would probably feel the same had you committed to UGA, South Carolina or whatever else. This is a natural process as your perceived opportunity cost of attending one place increases. Try to remember all the things that drew you to UPenn in the first place- write them down (it will make things easier if you have an articulated list). I would bet your classmates attending the places you mentioned are jealous that you get to attend UPenn. Good luck.</p>

4

<p>It's called "Buyer's remorse".</p>

5

<p>i didn't know penn state was ivy</p>

6

<p>lol?^ :/</p>

<p>To the OP: Be happy you're going there. See how it feels when you are there. If you don't like it, transfer. If you do, awesome!</p>

7

<p>
[quote]
i didn't know penn state was ivy

[/quote]
</p>

<p>University of Pennsylvania is Ivy. It is commonly called "Penn." Penn State is a different school.</p>

8

<p>I think you just have a simple case of buyer's remorse. I'm sure you'll love it when you get there and settle in.</p>

<p>However, this is exactly why I chose to attend UGA, specifically the Honors College (HC). Being a student in HC has allowed me to be part of a community that is full of students who chose UGA over Ivy League schools yet at the same time allowed me to be part of a large, laid-back atmosphere. </p>

<p>On one hand, I'm surrounded by students who rival students at the top Ivies (at least this is so when comparing SAT averages and GPAs); the vast majority of students in the HC either turned down Ivies or were Ivy material. </p>

<p>On the other hand, I'm in the middle of a larger, less stressful environment. I think it's the best of both worlds.</p>

9

<p>I think your ED was so long ago that now you feel as if you left the party too early, what with watching all your friends get excited and crossing your fingers that they get a big envelope this week. It's almost like you peeked at what was under the Christmas tree and now all the suspense is gone.</p>

<p>Go to your Ivy, give it a fair shake. Meet up with your friends at Thanksgiving and trade stories. If you are still having doubts reconsider in the fall. For now, join a FB group from your ED, buy a sweatshirt and a blanket with your school's logo on it and start making your shoppng list!</p>

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<p>This is why my D refused to apply ED to ANY school. Young lady, Ms. OP, you really do need professional counseling. Your post is a scream of self-doubt and insecurity. You clearly, IMHO, have an inferiority complex. I don't intend this to be cruel, but you are one confused young person. Your long, stream of consciousness post is a cry for help. Please get counseling. Please.</p>

11

<p>Attend accepted students days and reconnect with the school. Schedule an appointment to meet with a Prof in your intended major. Attend a class. Meet some RD acceptees and convince them to attend. Have fun.</p>

12

<p>Plainsman, that was a rather rude, obnoxious, pretentious, and unnecessary post. You are a parent; please act your age.</p>

<p>OP, that is a natural reaction. As others have said I'm sure it would have been the same had you applied ED to any other school. Understand that Penn is a great school; try it out and I'm sure you'll really enjoy it. If not, then you can always transfer.</p>

<p>Just try and enjoy senior year!</p>

13

<p>Ignore plainsman as a student in this situation I totally understand what you are talking about. I had this same issue over major choices. This is a turning point in our lives and it is only natural to be contemplative over it. </p>

<p>If it makes you feel better Penn is AMAZING.</p>

<p>I think you are justing have buyer's remorse at a time you should be having buyer's cheer. </p>

<p>CONGRATULATIONS ON PENN.</p>

14

<p>
[quote]
"This is why my D refused to apply ED to ANY school. Young lady, Ms. OP, you really do need professional counseling. Your post is a scream of self-doubt and insecurity. You clearly, IMHO, have an inferiority complex. I don't intend this to be cruel, but you are one confused young person. Your long, stream of consciousness post is a cry for help. Please get counseling. Please.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>You are not the OPs father and your opinion does not matter at all. The OP DOES NOT need counseling, she is just a highly intelligent young lady who is thinking about life.</p>

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<p>You are just having a lapse of confidence. You are freaking out because now that you've gotten into an Ivy you have to do GREAT things with this opportunity. Expectations are high, parents are bragging and you are wondering if you will be able to be successful in a BIG pond of competitive kids. At your small school you've always known where you stood, now you need to establish yourself again. Reinvent yourself. Thrive at Penn.</p>

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<p>Sorry plainsman if you saw my post before I edited it, it was inappropiate and rude and I apologize.</p>

17

<p>I love CC, I totally thought no one would actually read this.</p>

<p>Hillary2012, you worded the feeling more eloquently (and more succinctly) than I did, and I appreciate knowing that someone else out there feels similarly. I think what you've described is also a part of why I really wanted to be at an urban school without any walls or a little driveway (like Georgetown)--so that I could feel like a part of something bigger, namely the city.</p>

<p>OaksMom, I am clearly not as good at analyzing myself as I typically believe myself to be, because I think you hit the nail right on the head. I think that's a big part of why I'm suddenly wishing for other options in general.</p>

<p>Plainsman, I find the fervor with which you criticize me somewhat concerning... what pleasure do you derive out of telling me that I'm terribly confused in life and am in dire need of counseling? I elaborated a bit in the original post about how I feel about myself and my life because I thought it would be useful context for figuring out my true standing on Penn, not because I need opinions on whether or not I should go be evaluated somewhere. I'm kind of intrigued, though; if you can see me so clearly and understand what I am so confused about, can we chat? I mean, I'm being sincere; if you have something figured out about me and how I should be living my life then I'd like to hear it from you.</p>

<p>Thanks to everyone who encouraged me about Penn; some of the posts made me smile. I think the freedom I felt when I was choosing schools was so exhilarating that maybe I just wasn't ready to let go of it entirely: I could go almost anywhere in the country, mix with any type of people that I wanted to, etc. and that freedom helped me cope with the fact that I'm not exactly having a stellar senior year where I am right now. But there's really no reason why Penn can't be the amazing college experience I've always hoped for. Thanks so much for all of the encouragement. And bluebayou, I appreciate the specific suggestions--I really could do more to connect with Penn, especially since I will start getting housing forms/accepted student visit invites/etc in April. I have a friend there that I think I will go stay with for the weekend. :)</p>

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<p>I just have to add one more voice to the "Disregard plainsman" chorus. You sound delightful. You're probably going to be one of the least arrogant people at any of the ivies next year. I find your willingness to question your decision a sign of flexibility and maturity.</p>

<p>And while I know that there's a school of thought that suggests I should say "Don't worry about it. You'll be fine when you get there," I 'd rather say that I'm sorry that you have to deal with this tough decision at this time and it's sad that you can't be jumping up and down celebrating this month.</p>

<p>But not that sad. You'll be fine and I predict you will spend your junior and senior years in the right school for you.</p>

19

<p>Relax.</p>

<p>I mean it.</p>

<p>I agree with Batllo--your post screams--"I'm worried that I'm not good enough and that it's a pressure cooker and I don't want that." </p>

<p>First--it's harder to get in than to succeed once you're there. If you were accepted, there is every confidence that you can do the work. You'll do absolutely fine. </p>

<p>Second--Penn has 10,000 undergrads. They are as varied as they can be. Some of them come from intense schools and are going to be like that--most will be looking to meet people, have fun, experience a taste of independence and take classes that are way more interesting than what they were required to do in HS. Just because these boards are filled with lots of intense kids, does not mean that this is what college will be like at a selective school and Penn is not a pressure cooker at all. It IS filled with lots of interested and interesting people. </p>

<p>Third--you do not need to be a genius to find unique academic opportunties. You do not have to be a big fish in a pond of less stellar academics or in a small pond to stand out. You can stand out at Penn or any school by building relationships--with other students, with your professors, with those who run career centers, with those who run programs, etc. A place like Penn may have lots of talented students, but it also services those students by having lots of opportunities for them to reveal those talents and broaden themselves. It's a very enriching place and you will find your niche. You don't have to worry about this right away, it will take care of itself as you go.</p>

<p>Fourth--Penn can be just as down-to-earth as those other places. It is not filled with prestige hogs--it is filled with people just like you. In fact, my bet is that you will feel more at home there than you ever did in HS. You will find that you are surrounded by people who "get" you and who appreciate you for who you are--warts and all.</p>

<p>Fifth--it sounds like you are exhausted. You have worked really hard to succeed and when someone says they just want to be and rest and recoup it tells me that they need a mental break. Take that deep breath, enjoy what's left of your senior year and look forward to a re-energizing summer. You will love college, but you have many months before then and you should take it easy on yourself.</p>

<p>And finally--maybe it seems as though you got caught up in the prestige, but that doesn't matter now. It'll be great for you. A year from now you will be telling those same friends and family members that you love it and could not imagine yourself anywhere else. </p>

<p>You should also know that no matter how much research a student does about a place, you never really know a school until you are there. Penn will surprise and delight you in unexpected ways, even as it is imperfect in others. This will be the same for your friends going elsewhere.</p>

<p>Best of luck to you!</p>

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<p>if you feel like coming out of your ED acceptance, I'd be more than happy to take ur spot :D</p>